day 5 and i suck!

[janp429]

Day 5 and i suck seems to be the mood for the day.  feeling anxious.  starting the the off wrong.  i canceld my grandaughter's therpy session because i didnt feel up to it.  now feel bad about it.feeling even though i'm making through the w/d -that i'm not going to be able to live a productive life again.  it's been to long since i have.  i can't seem to see anything through.  feeling very different from other people- have for a very long time.  i look out my window - seeing people coming and going- all the long - wondering why i can't be like them - normal!  even my follow recovering addicts seem to be able to put their lifes back together.  feeling like it's just not in the cards for me!

[feohmoon]

Those feelings are normal, I do try to keep a positive frame of mind but that is often easier said than done.  I too worry that I have done damage to myself that could prevent me from leading the life I desire but we can all attain that life.  It is a hard time and you are at a crucial point, yes it ***** now but it is getting better every minute - please do not give up now.  
You can do this and you will be so glad that you did...things will improve soon, I get down easily too and the emotional and mental anguish is often the worst but please try to fight through it because you can do it.

[Dav125]

I will second what feohmoon said. Thats totally normal. You look around, its like you can't feel any excitement about anything, wonder whats wrong with me, then the thoughts of "I'm screwed, I've damaged myself, I'll never feel anymore:"..All those typical thoughts in the emotion swirl..Right with you on all that girl..Know exactly what that is..

But guess what. It does get better. Ask Quitinoxy about it. He just passed 100 days and cannot believe how good he feels now...

Hang in there. It will pass. I know its frustrating because nowhere in your head can you find anything that feels positive or stimulating...Just keep saying to yourself "this will pass". Because it will..If you look long enough in the forum, you'll find 100's of people that said the same thing and now are saying the opposite. Like "I never believed I'd get my life back,but I did and I love it, and thankyou to everyone in the forum for support because it helped me greatly"...

Turn that frustration into strength and get determined to get more days behind you. Everyday that passes will make you stronger:)

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 5 days!!!

What you are feeling is normal.  This takes time.  We didnt get addicted overnight and we dont feel better overnight either.  Try and be positive.  I know it is hard but you can do it.  Get up and move around, go outside and get some fresh air or take a short walk.  Just keep hanging in there.  It really is worth it..........sara

[janp429]

I hope that you  All are right - because it really does'nt feel that way right now!  i'll try and work through it.     thank you and to everyone  for your encourgement  and support!

[Dav125]

Nothing about wd's feels right. The mental aspect especially. Its like time stands still, the headache keeps pressure on you, nothing feels right, .

Thats when you need to do something simple. Like take a walk, come back in, put some soup on the stove, maybe make a few sandwiches, bag them and save them..I found that even with the total lack of appetite, Progresso vegetable soups which I would add chicken too were a lifesaver. I'd get myself busy cooking some boneless chicken breasts just to have them cooked. Then use them for whatever.  I'd have the soup there on the stove, maybe grab a spoon or two's worth, then take another walk.Then come back in and maybe get a 1/2 bowl and nibble on part of my sandwiches and maybe attempt to watch something on the TV that might catch at least a little of my attention to get one more hour out of the way.. If it got real bad, I'd attempt a shower even though I felt like I hardly had the energy just to stand there. Just getting the soap felt like a major undertaking. Even drying off was a major undertaking but it did give me some relief..

The worst thing you can do in the middle of this is sitdown and then land up focusing on how bad you feel. That turns into a mental nightmare..Just realize its ok to feel totally confused .. Its the wd's,,not you personally. Everybody who came off high doses of these meds which they had been taking for months if not years all experience the same. Some handle it better than others. Your at day 5. That is a turning point day. 90% of most of the threads I've seen posted had the posters saying they were still feeling bad,,but not as bad. Two days later they'sd come back and say doing even better, but wish they could get some sleep. Your there. Turning point day

Try to change your focus. You know whats going on so so keep running one very important staement thru your head..That "this will pass, that this will pass"..And it will..Every hour has you one step closer..Stay strong..You can do this Jan....

[tellit2her]

Hello there, its always good to pop in and out of this forum to see those needing help and eventually they themselves end up helping someone else in their recovery. JanP you help a lot of us even during mid recovery, I cannot forget nor will I forget the times that I suffered and told myself there was NO way out of this crap. Please read and keep telling yourself that YOU can do it, I give you my peace,, mike in nc

[gnarly_1]

HI I just read you post and remember feeling exactly like that to...try not to get discouraged
the healing process is different for everyone the 20somethings come around a lot faster then someone in there 40s or 50s your just going to have to be pacent ..I detoxed at 47 and it took me quite a wile to come back around but you will get better its just going to take some time when you do life will become a beautiful place once again hang in there for a wile longer it will get better I promise good luck and God bless......Gnarly  

[BrentD]

Glad to know I'm not alone on this. I have felt this way for some time too. Its been about 6 years since being completely sober and I have  forgot what normal feels like and its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just am ending my day 6 and things seem to be slowly getting better, and noticing the little things improving helps me stay consistant with hope. Years seem to fly by in the end when you look back, lets all let next year come around and be happy with how far we have progressed and gained back in life.One day at a time. Best of luck to you.