Feeling Pressued

[tiff78g]

As you know, my babby's dad is in rehab, he has been since December.  He has now transitioned into his last phase, which means he has 8 weeks of inpatient treatment left.  He is now pressuring me to let him move back in and I am just not ready.  I do not trust him, I am still hurt by all of the lies, deception and him stealing from me. I cannot afford to let him back in my house, my kids lives just to be hurt again.  I dont know how much clearer I can be w/out hurting his feelings.  He then tries to pull the "I have no where to go".  I feel bad, and my codependent self tries to say you must help him, but then I remember I DID NOT get him into this situation.  I just dont know what to do and he is stressing me out.  Since he has been gone I have been trying to do some soul searching of my own, but I am a single mom to three very young children and work full time, my time to actually sit and think is limited.  I love this man, but I dont feel like I am in love with him and without trust there is nothing.  I dont want him to have to feel like I am questioning his every move when he gets out, but I know me and I will be.  I guess there is no real question in here, I just needed to get this out.

tiffiny

[Rose703]

I'm sending you a PM. Give me about 10 minutes and then read it.

[dove3053]

If you think you stressed out now just think about how stressed out you will be if you do let him come back. I speak from experience and I know how hard it is for you to say no. If you are already questioning him coming back you have answered your own question about this. When the trust is gone the realtionship is too.

Do yourself a favor and say no and move on with your life. You will be much happier down the road and life has a way of going on without people we thought we couldn't live without. There are many nice guys out there without the trouble this one has caused you and your kids. I don't mean to sound harsh, just honest.

Dove

[tiff78g]

Thank you for your comments. I feel like everyone in his family and my family are going to be disappointed if I dont let him come right back "home" but it is MY home first and foremost and my kids are more important to me than any man. I dont want them to have to deal w/ him leaving again if things dont work.  His leaving was hard on all of us, and I just cannot and will not do that to them again. I am an adult, I can handle heartache, they are too young to understand and I hate seeing them upset and confused.  Thanks again for your support!!

tiffiny

[GoingToMakeIt]

If you are not ready, that is your answer. You do not have to let him back in. Respect and trust is something earned.

[bubbaganoosh]

Hi there, i think its unfair, you say you love him but dont feel like your in love with him, i would have more time apart till you know for sure, and he should respect that maybe he can go to a sober living type place after rehab, im sure they can work it out for him, well without trust you having nothing, I think you have answer'ed alot of your questions sounds clear to me. Just be strong and say no stick to it, if he repects you he would do it  :)

[VicUser]

You are in a tough situation. What do you think is in the best interest of your children?