The Final Straw

[gizzy32]

Just curious as to what your final straw was that made you finally realize it was time to quit. what i mean is was there a single event or bottom that you hit, where that light bulb went off and you knew you were done with drugs. almost all addicts never quit their first time, it takes a lot of pain and hardships before you say "enough is enough". this is not meant to be a negative post, in fact i look at my "final botttom" as a positive and  what saved me from using coke. my final straw was the ambulance ride and fearing for my life, it took that to wake me up. just wanted to hear some of your stories.

[Crispy]

I thought about when i was in jail for 6 months how i felt the first month when i didnt have any cigarettes or alcohol. It sucked so bad in a place like that and wanting stuff u couldnt have. It popped into my head how much it disgusted me that i depended on something to get me through life. I got tired of going through w.ds when i couldnt get pills and i was puting myself through sheer hell and it was no ones fault but my own. My relapse is in my hands now but my recovery is in the good ppl i surround myself with.

[girlybuff]

There was no grand moment for me.  No white light experience.
I woke up one day and looked into the mirror.  I said today is the day I kill myself, or get help.
I got help.
There are a tons of "yets" for me. I've yet to be arrested, I've yet to steal from family and I've yet to use around my child but again, those are yets.......If I go back out there, I'm sure I'll reach some if not all of those and worse.
I know I have another relapse in me but I am really not sure if I have another recovery!
God bless!!

[Chi_Chi_Lover]

I was in constant turmoil inside over counting the pills to have enough to get through the day, weekend or whatever. I didn't know how to stop and my husband came to me and told me my money was cut off and I had to stop. I knew it was the wake up call I need to stop so I started researching found this forum and went c/t within a month. It was tough but I had made my mind up that I wanted to be free from the pills. I just needed the push.
I think I have gained all of my husbands trust back and I now have access to all of the money again, LOL. It been over a year now but it seems like so much longer. It was like a bad dream. Not just the pills but everything going on during those years. Rough times.

[coconuts27]

This is a good post Gizzy, very interesting to see what everyone else said. My story is a little different. The final straw for me was the fact that the government could dictate how I raise my children because of what I choose to put into my body. I really dont believe that I ever hurt or neglected my children, I love them more than anything. They had love, time, toys, vacations and much more that many other kids. They never knew I was high or saw drugs around. My drug use wasnt really getting to where I couldnt afford it, cuz I hardly ever paid for anything. I self medicated to cover up my problems, and that was because I was always afraid of what the doctor prescribed. What made their meds so much better than mine??? Because they're legal? Would I still have my kids if I drank every night instead of using recreational drugs? Or how bout if I just ran around snappin on the kids all day instead of poppin a pill? Probably. Anyway, I know that many will probably disagree, but thats what it took for me. I'm 5 days from pain pills, using a lot less coke, not smoking weed at all. I didnt quit for me, but so that I can have my babies back. I still refuse to take the meds that are being prescribed to me because I dont wanna be a zombie. I just want to be a mom. And if I have to run around mad at everyone for the next six months because I cant smoke a joint, I guess thats what I'll do. But at least the well-being of my kids wont be determined by an already screwed up system.

[ShatrdKY]

One thing that really hit home was the day i got my paycheck and started to search for my favorite: Methadone.
when i couldn't find it i went and bought 7.5 Lortab.
WITH MY ENTIRE PAYCHECK!!!

that was a really LOW time.
It was rent time.
I owed a total of $240.00 that day to someone i loved (didn't pay them)
i was driving around on 1/4 tank of gas.
It took 14 hours to ingest my entire paycheck!

[NINJAMUFFIN]

my wake up call came the day that i didnt have any pills to take and i went throughout y house screaming and crying like a raving lunatic bc i had no piills to take and freaking out wanting to just die bc i dint have any pills to take.  i later got some pills that i spend $300 on for 4 80mg oxycontins. and the next day my bilss all bounced and i didnt even care bc i had my precious 4 pills that lasted me one day.  thast when i realized my life is out of control and i need to stop.