Tin foil strikes back?

[Clong45]

Well, I had my first ultimate test today.  I knew it would happen eventually.  Face to face with enemy number one!  I won but it wasn't easy.  120 off subs today..anyways,

I was doing some rearranging in my bedroom today.  Clearing out my summer clothes from the closet and dressers and loading them up with winter clothes.  I pulled all my drawers out of the dresser and placed them on the bed.  I glanced down when pulling my bottom drawer out and there it was.  I knew what it was as soon as I layed eyes on it.  My heart began to pounce out my chest.  It was a tin foil with a 80mg oxy in the middle of it.  I knew it was a 80 cause I could see the green coating in the snake trails from when I first smoked it.  I couldn't believe it.  How did I forget about this thing when I was using?  There was still over half of it there.  I would be lying if I said it didn't call my name.  It had to be at least a year old.  After about 3 or 4 min of just staring at it..I picked the pill out the foil and flushed it.  I pulled the foil in several pieces and flushed it too.  Made sure I wouldn't leave it in the trash.  My mind wouldn't let go from knowing I could just dig it out the trash.  

I know I can't be around any opiate.  My mind isn't strong enough yet.  I don't know if it ever will be.  I've relapsed so many times...I know ANYTHING is possible.  I lived by the second today.  All it could of took was me putting a flame to that foil and BOOM..it would of been over.  Clean time gone.  Could of spiraled into another several month/year bender.  I won today.."TODAY".  The moment we take on a too prideful attitude and think we can control our addiction is when we lose the battle.  Be proud of your clean time.  But not too proud.  Our addict minds are looking for a way out.  It never stops,  Never.  Stay on guard.   Keep the fight!

Clong

[Cheeky59]

Wow! I hate when that happens, and it does.....your strong!

[HappyDays2Come]

*standing ovation*

Wow what a great way to motivate us all to remember our clean days and to hold them sacred! Good for you for being so incredibly strong! You are a role model for us all.

[clean_in_ks]

Appreciate you sharing this temptation with us.  It is said we are "always shown a way out of temptation".  You didn't succumb.  Yayyy you!!

My head immediately went to the "mini version" of the first 3 steps of all 12 step programs......

I can't
He can
IF......I let Him.

Good on ya, Clong!

[selfinduced]

Very proud of you. Takes a mental toll on you when your tested, but you passed with flying colors. YAY Clong!

[mamaof4410]

Thats great...It takes alot of will power to stay away from it all. And that took alot for you to flush it. After two months of sobriety Ive learned that it gets easier with time. The cravings still get to me, but I do something to take my mind off of it. And it works. Best of luck to you!

[Fireby29]

Way to go Clong.  I am in the same boat, I need to not be around the narcs.  I hope I would have done the same as you, thanks again for the inspiration.

Bryan

[ang_811]

Good job on flushing them. Now how empowered do u feel?  U said a big f-u to our disease.

[Pat1956100]

Yup, you start thinking, well I've already blown my clean time so I may as well get some more.  Then it goes on and on and you are back in hell before you know it.
Great job refusing to fall into the trap.

[Clong45]

Thanks everyone for the kind words.  This was my hardest test so far during my recovery.  I had to share it.  It was a scary feeling knowing how I got so worked up when I found it.  I was a bit upset that I second guessed myself like I did.  My mnd thought: "go ahead and smoke it..why not?  I can't get anymore anyways and it's not like i'm gonna feel any withdrawl from it"   WOW...I know that it wouldn't end there..been there and done that...

[Life360_Dave]

Its great how well you know yourself and the tricks our minds play on us, great you flushed it and great to have this behind you!

[Norco1947]

Hi Clong ,  Way to fight , It is a fight every day , We have a choice every day to live happy or take drugs . Our choice our lifes .
Be proud stay strong ... Ron

[weaver71]

Right on Clong, you are leading the way. I've been two weeks behind you off subs, and you helped me stay focused during my sleepless nights. Humble and proud, a definite worthy goal and attitude. Glad you made it and glad you shared. Guard up with that memory of where we are from and how we couldn't break free alone with will-power. Happy you're still here with us. You won TODAY!!

[dominosarah]

You did a great job by getting rid of that.  That is never easy.

[Dane74]

AWESOME!!!!!!!  You did amazing, i know how hard that was, you must feel so empowered though????  We must always keep our guard up no matter how much clean time we have, we must always keep the fight, and we will WIN!!!!  Congratulations to you, you should be so proud:-)

[Clong45]

Yea..I've done my research on it.  There are arguments on both sides of it.  I know if it's true, I'll find out.  lol..I didn't always use foil..but I did use it more than most people.  Guess I'll cross that road when and if it comes.

[metadontkillme]

You really sound like somebody who Is trying to not be an addict. Good for you!! Wars are won 1 battle at a time!

[quitinoxys]

You did a great job flushing that evil pill, it just goes to show you that anytime anyplace we all can be confronted with making a decision to use or not. You made the right chose I am proud of you and you should be extremely proud of standing up for your sobriety---Rick

[Teresa1717]

On my day 3 I found 3 norcos that had fallen behind my seat in my car! How come when we were heavy in our addictions we never found pills when we wanted to but now that we are in recovery these things happen!! I mean really?!  lol

But Great job on 120 Days, and an even better job on not giving in!!! You have it exactly right, You won TODAY. Thats what we have to do, Take each day as it comes, trying not to focus on how we will win tomorrow. When Im able to do that, then things are definitely easier for me.

Keep fighting the good fight! And thanks for the post and helping me remember never to let my guard down! :)

[buddycrunch]

You did good bud. There it was, already to go with no place to go.


Ever think about that link between aluminum and Alzheimer's?