In Methadone Maintenance Treatment and am worried

[ilvmakindolls]

Hello again everyone!  I know it has been a very long time since I posted but it has been nothing but a roller coaster ride for me!  About 5 years ago, I was prescribed Vicoden for pain in my hands.  I have this weird thing called "Recurring Inverted Anomalous Muscles".  I had gone through surgery on both hands but the muscles grew back and now I have way to much internal damage in both my wrists for them to operate again.  So, they put me on pain pills for the pain and said there was nothing else they could do.  Like everyone else, I started out taking them when I was in pain only....but as the years went by, I began just taking them to feel good....then, when I was switched over to Percocet, I really started hitting my bottle of pills HARD!  It was a much better High I got so I would run out early but at first, my Doctor would go ahead and refill me early and even call the Pharmacy to say it was ok.  After this went on for about six months, the Doctor finally said it was time to start taking them as prescribed.  I was prescribed 6 of the 7.5mg percocets a day.  I tried the whole "weaning" program but that didn't work.  I was still running out early and soon, I was on the streets buying from so-called friends and family.  As time went on, I knew I wanted off these stupid pills but no matter what, I just couldn't seem to stay out of them if there were here.  So, I tried to go Cold Turkey.  I was pill sick for well over 15 days.  I never felt any better.  I still had the runs, hot/cold sweats, body aches, nausea, vomiting, and all the other side effects of being in withdrawal and none of them went away even after 15 days.  I know it is different for everyone but hoped it would be 3 days of sickness and then the months of the mental stuff.  But not for me.  After all that time, I was still sick so I caved.  Started buying off friends and family again and called the Doctor and got back into pain management.  This clinic was very different from what I was used too.  All they would give me was a specially mixed medication of 20mg hydrocodone with 200mg acetomenophin in each capsule.  I was to take only 2 a day because it was a time released capsule.  My first month, I ran out at least a week before I was due and the next month, I ran out two weeks early.  When I went back in the next month, I failed the urine test so was told I would have to start having counts and more urine tests.  I really started researching all my options on how to get off the meds.  It was costing me hundreds a week just to keep from getting sick and my Husband was unaware of how much money I was actually spending on them.  I was taking stuff to the pawn shop to get cash....writing bad checks but paying the bank fees to get cash...whatever I could do to get the money, I would.  Then, about 2 months ago, I was looking for some pills but couldn't find anything.  A friend called to say all she could find was heroin and was telling me how good it is....how it is like a lot like the pain pill buzz but 100 times better.  When I caught myself actually considering buying some, that was when I KNEW it was time to do something.  So, I decided to try Methadone Maintenance Treatment.  There is a clinic about 20 min. away from my home.  I researched it and decided, even though I have heard a LOT of negative things about the Methadone, I have also heard a LOT of positive things about it as well.  I went there.  Talked to the Administrator, Nurses, a couple of the Counselors and a bunch of the patients before making the decision to sign up.  It has been 49 days since I signed up and for the last 49 days, I have not had not one pain pill and I have not had any withdrawal symptoms at all!  I am really worried however that when the time comes to start weaning off the Methadone, that I will be very sick.  This program is very strict.  I have to go to the clinic every day to get my daily dose.  I take the dose in front of a Nurse who watches me drink it.  It is in liquid form.  There is normally a line of people and we are all there for the same reason.  We pay about thirteen dollars a day to get the medicine but we also get to see a Doctor whenever we want and we talk to a Counselor once a week.  They also offer a lot of group therapy sessions.  About once every 10-15 days, you come due for a drug testing by urine.  They test for everything too....including alcohol.  They will NOT tolerate anyone using ANY kind of drug when in treatment.  It is the 3 strikes your out kinda place.  I have had 3 tests so far and am so proud that I have not yet failed any.  I do have cravings and as time goes on, they do get better....but like today, I want a pill so badly and it is really hard not to start calling around.....but I just keep thinking to myself it isn't worth it.  As long as I continue to do well, I will start earning "take homes".  You earn them one day at a time.  After two months, as long as you pass all the drug screenings and have attended all your counseling sessions and have seen the Doctor at least 4 times, you get to have 1 take home day.  I am almost there.  As the time goes on, you earn day by day.  You also get called in for bottle checks and things like that.  The treatment I am in is a 2 year program.  The counseling is supposed to prepare me for when the time comes to start decreasing my dose.  For now, I do feel that for me, I made the right decision by getting into this treatment program....but I do worry about being addicted to the Methadone now.  Anyone else here in Methadone Maintenace Treatment?????

[overopiates]

Just n case the poster is wondering what the references to alleged pain etc r well someone had written insulting+discouraging remarks and we were blessed to have them removed.

[vicki595]

Gee...I didn't read her as discontent at all!  This is progress but she's a littled worried because the Methadone is not forever and she's thinking ahead. There's no right or wrong here. I kow pain is subjective but I would never say her pain was alleged!

[ImDONENoMore]

overeasy has a point.  You do sound angry.

[vicki595]

Hi there!

For you,I think this was a good choice. Try not to worry so much about the future right now,okay?  Aside from counseling at the clinic, are you getting any kind of recovery care,therapy,groups,anything?  That may help as well.  What dose are you on now?

I'm so glad you updated us. You've been struggling for so long that it's great you have a break from that and are moving in a more positive direction.

Keep posting!!