URGENT HELP NEEDED SUBOXONE

[warney26]

Please I hope for an urgent answer.  My daughter has a long term addiction to heroin.  She goes really well for a while and then when her ex starts hassling her (he uses and she left him due to this and domestic violence)  she gets stressed and anxious and then relapses.  She is on suboxone to help but has messed up a fewtimes in the last fortnight.  AS she goes to a clinic she gets random urines. As he has all takeaways, he is only tested once a month and always knows the same day!!! so he is "safe".  He is a really nasty piece of works and will find anything he can on her for custody - spite more than really wanting 100%.  The problem is that I have bailed her out a couple of times in an emergency, by giving her my own urine :(  I do this cause I know she is a brilliant mum and it would devestate her and the kids if came back dirty.  She never uses when they are with her, only when its thier turn with dad.  Anyway, the URGENT issue is this,  my wee has NO ssuboxone and I strongly suspect they are going to test for suboxone on the next test, which is tomorrow or next day. they dont usally but they also suspect her been using and may suspect she is using another persons wee to pass. I have heard that sometimes they will deliberately test for suboxone to make sure not been fiddled with.
I know you cant put it straight into the urine as I read that they test for its changed metabolised levels and that their should be barely any non metabolised in the urine.  I cant remember what the metabolised name is, think norbupe.....  regardless it can only be in urine that has gone through the liver.
NOW for the crunch.  On the couple of times she has used, she hasnt taken her bupe or says it wouldnt have worked or having the bupe to could make her sick. Therefore I do have a small amount here that I hold for her for emergency eg if misses clinic.  I have never taken any drugs and am on no medication, my health isnt perfect but its not bad either.  I want to take the bupe myself about 8 hours before the urine (so has time to start getting into wee)  I dont know how much is safe to take though and am a bit scared.  She is on 12mg so of course I cant take that.  If I take too small a bit though it may not even show up!!! and be negative.  Its like a balancing act. Obviously if I only take a tiny bit (thinking 2-4mg) the levels will be well below what they should be but am thinking at least thats better than showing none at all.  If she shows none at all they will think is not her urine, if it shows levels but way too low, they will think not taking it properly. Rather they think hasnt beent aking properly than think has used someone elses wee. HELPPPPPPPPPPP how much can I take at once.  I was thinking 2mg and tehn leave a few hours and if feeling ok take another 2 mg ?.  Will it effect driving though as we have to drive half hour to pathologist

[VICourageous]

Wow...All the poster above are sooo right !!!! You are playing with fire..If your daughter is a addict she needs to get help on her own account..For u I would say also to go into the web and look up all the videos and info about the "Disease of Addiction" you will understand a bit more about this and that u r not helping the matter at all...You & Her can and will end up in jail together and then what will happen to the kids...If I got this right your daughter is going to get some outside support???That is a start...Have her come on here her self...We care and can give her some great experience.
I will pray for u all...Please stop doing this for her..It is only give her a green light to her addiction....
vickie

[ponco]

I couldnt agree any more the daughter need to break free from the boyfriend and i not trying to be mean but mom to so she can get treatment, mom could end up in jail im sure she dosent need that , so her daughter needs treatment, and the children will be fine, have a family member look after them while daughter and mom get the help they both need ponco

[ponco]

I agree she needs to get rid of her signift. other, hes causeing her a lot of problems, and needs to detox ponco

[nursegirl6572]

I'm sure there is a lot involved, but right now, you have to do some thinking about what YOU need to do to stop this pattern of enabling and co-dependency.  Honestly, it will NOT help your daughter...it will actually keep her using.

".  She is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO close to being completely free of use and the timing was horrendous."

With all due respect, I disagree.  That's just another excuse, hon.  It sounds as though she has been deceitful with the sub clinic on numerous occasions, as this isn't the only time you've offered your urine for her to beat the test.  The ONLY person that hurts is HER.  She is cheating herself more than anyone else.  SHE is accountable for her behavior...not her ex, not you, not the clinic, not "timing"...this is ALL on her.

She needs to work on getting aftercare, learning the stages of relapse, how to identify the risk of relapse, and what to do about it.  Relapse IS a part of addiction, for many people, but it's all in how a person deals with the temptations and cravings.  She has to learn, for the LONG haul how to handle stress.  As a mom, using is NOT an option.  She will forever be connected to her ex because they have a child together, so there will alays be stressors from time to time.  If she turns to drugs every time she feels stressed over him, she will never stay clean.  Stress is part of life...and right now, she is turning to drugs to cope.  That's not recovery.

You need to hold her accountable, stop fixing everything for her, let her fail if she's going to fail.  Sometimes failing leads to success.  She doesn't have any motivation or determination to put her all into treatment, because she hasn't taken it seriously.  She haasn't had to.  It's completely pointless to be in a sub program if a person is going to continue to use, and lie, and be deceitful.  That is still 100% active addiction.  Plus, it's sad, because she's holding a spot in the clinic that could be used for someone who wants to WORK the program and give it their all.

I sincerely hope you really think about what people here have said.  I know you love your daughter and feel as though you have to help her, and you CAN help her by supporting her in her recovery, not supporting her in her active addiction, which sadly, is exactly what you're doing.  You're actually impeding her progress.

Very very best to you all.  I hope you seek some help to learn more about how addiction affects everyone in the family...and I hope you can learn how you are very much stuck in this web of addiction right along with your daughter.

[warney26]

thanks for all of yur replies, its a little more complicated than just what I said in my originakl post above, have added a little more in the other forum though.  I wold have little hope of getting any custody as I have not a cent for legal help and have kidney problems. If he got full custody those little angels not only liose their mum but will never get to see nanny either, thinking they had been totally abandoned by us both,   Unfortunately, as hard as I have tried, he despises me. He blames me for her leaving him as I called the police when she woudnt (after yet another beating) and he blames me for her leaving him, if it wasnt for me she would have not left him as would have had no one to go to,,,,,,,,  The children and I are exceptionally close, probably more to me than their mum or dad. Its not jst mum they will lose but me too.  She is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO close to being completely free of use and the timing was horrendous. I have working a lot with her on strategies etc, she has just started a recovery group, her bupe was only just pt up to 12mg a couple of days ago and she is seeing a DV (dom violence) counicllor now PLUS starts seeing a psychologist in two weeks,   Please see my other reply in the other forum.  

[bama88]

I can understand you wanting to help your daughter. but this is not the way to go about it.

Even though you may think your doing a good thing its not. when i read this my heart goes out to you. i can feel your fustration stress anger and anxity thru the screen.

Take deep breathes and read what you wrote and see the danger in this.