day 10 - supposed to be up then down?

[Cantdothisanymore]

i dont understand. i think i am there, think i am going to do it, send all my support and good vibes and then I crash emotionally and cant get back up. those of you who have been talking to me know that i have been super postive one moment and then bam - some sort of trigger hits and i am back at sqaure 1. wtf!? physically i am pretty good but emotionally.....the hell with this! what the hell does it take? how do i keep the postive feelings and run with them? I am at this very moment in utter and total despair and i dont have a clue how to move on.  I hate that this has ever happened to anyone on the planet and now i am just plain pissed off.

[Cantdothisanymore]

HI all, I actually have been really busy. I am on Day 12 and feeling pretty good.  Had to go consult with Tramahater as my surgeon gave me a script for tramadol and i thought that was bad. checked with her and know not to fill it. tore it up. i will stick to the tylenol for my pain.  sorry i have not posted.  this back to work thing is interfering with my time here with you fine people but hey - i gotta pay the bills. will check back soon. thanks for the posts. they help more than you know.

[sad1258]

hey...I am getting really worried....hope you are just too busy and feel too good to post...no matter what let us all know how you are doing...no matter what we are all here for you!!!!!

[sunshine1109]

Sadnomore and Cando.....See I changed your names for you LOL Thanks so much....you most definately get to that point, no matter what you are never alone God is always there to guide you, I prayed constantly for strength and guidance everyday for a very long time...You are both in my thoughts and prayers, I pray for you both a better tomorrow, remember I wont be on here tomorrow it doesnt mean I have forgotten you, keep your heads up and stay strong...Sunshine

[sad1258]

Sending all my prayers for you tomorrow...and yes I have been on my knees with my bible..sometimes you get to that point!!! you are such an inspriration!!!! keep up the good work..I so believe in Angels!!!!!!!!!!!

[sad1258]

I only hope you are having the best day ever...and want to hear all about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!because that is your only excuse for not talking to me today!!!!! wink..wink..   (please say its been good)  I am thinking and praying for you every minute!!!!

[sunshine1109]

Oh you would be surprised what we do in times of crisis...I was on my knees with my bible in my hand praying to God to heal me and to take away my pain. Oh I remember it like it was yesterday, some things you never forget.  I still remember my first time coming home after being away for 3 mths I was petrified, back to living a normal life, what was that??? Ohhh I was scared but once I started doing everyday things it got easier and easier, I dont work anymore so I had to keep busy doing other things. Im glad your back to work and yes Sad will get there the biggest thing is patience and who has those anymore I still dont...Hope the rest of your day has gone well and Im sure Ill be chatting with ya on here soon...Keep Strong..

[Cantdothisanymore]

its going good. putting me back to normalness. sad will get there too but she works for school system.  i pray for her. i pray for me. i pray for you. freaky thing is - i dont pray. hows that for some freaking irony?

[sunshine1109]

Thank You....and Im thinking of you...it helps me get my mind off of myself....Ill drive myself nuts with this if I dwell on it....You keep strong your doing great...How's work going??

[Cantdothisanymore]

ggod god how to they do a cardiac cath on a heat made of gold? all my best to you. that makes my issues seem so small and insignificant.  good luck to you and i am thinking of you.

[sunshine1109]

My Dr prescribed me Meloxicam, its a anti-inflammatory it is commonly used for rhuematoid arthritis, its taken once a day, believe me my Dr WOULD NOT prescribe me anything addicting, hes the one who put up the red flag up on me, and has been with me since day one...Ive taken it a few times but it never did anything for my pain but it might work for you so if he says to try it, it wont hurt....I hope your day is going well...Keep your head up your doing a wonderful job...Im thinking of you always....I havent been on hear much I have some health issues im dealing with going for a cardiac cath. tomorrow morning scared to death, they have to sedate me a little and I dont want anything in my body im gonna try and do it without.....but im still here to support you.....Sunshine

[vicki595]

Hi~  It's an NSAID and perfectly fine to take.

Vicki  xo

[Cantdothisanymore]

still having pain from my surgery and dr sadi i could take MELOXICAM 15MG TABLETS
is this okay? anyone know this drug? I am NOT taking anything that will do what vics did to me.

[vicki595]

Yes,work on getting some support with your recovery. Support takes many forms. Your doctor,pastor,therapist etc...also,it really helps to have family/friends for support. No one should go through this alone. It's very difficult.

Work is a great distraction. You're getting there!!  11 days is really huge. Be proud of yourself!!!

Vicki  xo

[Cantdothisanymore]

just checked in for a little inspiration. at work now and glad for it. thinking of going through my employee assistance program for some help but not sure about that.  been doing this all alone with no other kind of pills and other than my crazy emotions ( which for me kicked in the last few days) i am doing okay. just needed all your inspiration to get through my day here at work.  thanks for all your support, and i mean that from the bottom of my heart.

[Dump_Subs]

Great posts gnarly and everyone else.  I've personally learned SO MUCH in reading your posts.  Can't tell you how many times I've tried to quit only focusing on physical wd's.  I had no idea how hard, and more specifically, how darn long this process takes.  Today is day 23 and I sure do have good days and bad days.  In the past, I would just admit that my brain chemistry is permanently altered and start using again to manipulate my good feelings.  I constantly say to myself "it is ok to not be ok!". Just try to get through each day and with ALL of your help I am very confident I will someday be normal.  Whatever the he11 that means.  LOL.  Just want to say thanks.  Also that a Doctor simply can't articulate what it is going to be like, without going through it like "WE" have.  Much respect to Gnarly and tramahater.  You have helped me tremendously.  I have referred two buddies to this site.  They really like the anonymity and help this site provides.  

[LeaAnn807]

Good start to your day 11!  Have a good attitude.  Setting goals is good too.  Check into aftercare,  Great idea.  This is the time that you need help and support.....when the WDs have let up and the brain starts it's crap with you!

Try not to dread the day!  Look at it as one more day between you and your last pill, and let that make you feel safe!  Not so safe that you let your guard down...just in a physical aspect!  

You can do it!

[Florida_Guy737]

Hi...

Please read the Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms (PAWS) info on this site.  The emotional shifts can very well last up to six months.  This is normal and reading the info on PAWS will prepare you for what's coming.  Many people say quitting is easy but staying clean is the hard part.

Guy

[Cantdothisanymore]

good morning to my day 11. please be good to me. i pledge to myself that i will try to remember and realize what you have all just explained to my about my brain trying to trick me and roll with it. i must have one really charming brain cuz it has nearly got me convinced to give in.  i'm off to get ready for work SOBER. God help me.
thank you all. your words are my only healing inspiration.  i also pledge to my self to look into after care today.  

[gnarly_1]

HI I have been following you and sads story from the start...its good you got a'' get clean with partner'' on the forum it help to have someone in about the same place as you to compare notes...theirs a good reason I say ..."you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile" ...because you do or you will drive yourself nuts... for the first month of getting clean your body/brain is going thew enormous changes...your brain is going to say WTF is up
I never say this is 1/3 physical and 2/3 mental to play down the physical part that scares most of us...but I say it to prepare you for the coming onslaught of the emotional roller coaster that you will be on ...what is happening to you is new to you...we have seen it lots of times and thats why we say what your feeling is normal
try not to let it discourage you...remember attitude is everything doing this....its the difference in between misery witch we all go threw doing this and suffering witch is something that we let our minds do to us and we have a choice in ...we often say you have to choose recovery and be pro active in it by seeking out aftercare....it will make or break you... going it alone and ""white knuckling"" sobriety is a ruff road if its the one you choose...aftercare in what ever form best fits you is essential to getting thew this it will teach you the skills and give you the tools to help guide you along the way and start to make some sense out of what is happening to you...right now just realize your brain is trying to go from A to B and it is going from A to C to get to B and is going to take a wile to get back to normal again...don't base your progress on what you feel right now...your feelings are magnified and at best uncertain or unclear of whats really going on..except your feeling for what they are...and except how well or not well you feel you cant change anything but your attitude acceptance is a big part of getting thew this...I know your not where you want to be just yet but it does no go to get upset or nervous about how you feel...you have to live in today....I spent way to much of my recovery waiting to feel better...or waiting for a particular symptom to ez up...one you start excepting where your at and not fighting it your recovery will become a lot ezer...just look at each thing you go thew as one more part of the puzzle you have to piece together to get back to normal ..and normal might not feel like what you expect it to...again acceptance is key here...progress should be measured over a period of time not by the day and everybody will progress at there own rate of time...I went threw methadone detox...I fought it hook and tooth the first month I had no idea it was going to take another 2 months just to begin to feel better....once my conslor beat in in my head that I just had to accept where I was and quit stressing where I wanted to be and that I wasn't happy with my progress ...acceptance brought me piece ..my recovery was in Gods hands and it was going to happen painfully slow weather I wanted it to or not...now your coming off pills ...your recovery will happen a lot faster but it still will only happen at the rate it is going to happen at and you cant change that try to get some piece that you are slowly getting better and that you have already done a great job in your recovery...and know there will be both good days and bad days ahead thats how this goes...become pro active in your recovery you have worked so hard to get where your at ...keep pushing forward by getting the proper aftercare to know your doing everything on your part to make this happen and YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL ....keep posting for support and reading the post you help more then you realize good luck and God bless......Gnarly                      

[newfoundmercy]

Yes, with withdrawals it is perfectly normal to be up and down.  I'm an addict going through the same thing right now and what you have to do is remember that you do have choices what you can do.  The best thing I can do is stay where someone can reach me.  Things got a little bit better once I got a counselor to help me out as well as a probation officer- they are probably the best people to help you, at least mine is.  I know for me that God has been a significant point of healing for me, He has provided exactly what I need in some instances literally seconds before a relapse.  I still stumble, and sometimes I get discouraged because I feel like I skidded my face across the concrete again every time I relapse.  There is no victory without fighting, and you'll have to dig deep to pull out all the strength you have.  I have absolute confidence in you because you are reaching out to us and that's a really important tool.  I'm proud of you for trying.  We love you here and are here for you anytime.  I started going to a church beginning of May and they have not judged me at all for my addiction, but they love me, help me, and pray for me all the time.  See if you can set yourself up with that becuase to get away from an addiction you literally have to change your entire life, not just the drugging but everything negative that could lead to it.  Keep reaching out!  I care about you!

[worried878]

knowing how u feel is perfectly normal after narcotic wd should help/but i know it doent take the pain away
The brain is in a lack of dopamine,,th chemicals u fed it for so long on a daily basis r making ur brain confused and i feels like a huge disappointment to ur brain..it has to figure out where the happy juice went and pump up to catch up to par..feelsa like a bad depression/real bad/i wikld cry at the drop of a hat during this time//buyt it gets better and thn it ends..hang tight
exercse is the best thing u can do cos it produces those happy juices u need so badly..the  thomas recipe is full of ideas for sleep   nrg and anxiety

lemme kno if i can help u

laura

[vicki595]

Kind of hope you don't wake up in the morning??????????????????????????????????

What the hell is that??   Stop it! Right now!!

It will not be like this forever. Actually,not too much longer.  It's completely normal and we've all been through it and are here to talk about it.    You've been a big inspiration to quite a few people.  I'm proud of how far you've come.  Remember: Your feelings have been numb for a long time. Now they're coming back and fast! Go with it,feel it. It's all part of the process and it passes.

Now,calm down. Do something nice for yourself. Are you eating? Drinking? Taking vitamins?

Keep posting here...a lot of folks are reading!

Vicki  xo

[LeaAnn807]

I know you don't want to hear this, but it is totally normal!  I had to go on an AD, because I couldn't stand it!  My mood was all over the place....like worse than PMS.  Try to be calm and know that is is ok and will get better.  

You need some support.  Someone to talk to.  People who understand, who you can call when you need to.  Have you been to a meeting?  Have you talked to your doctor about an AD?  I just think some people need them for awhile.  It doesn't have to be forever.  I have actually known people who were on ADs already when they went thru WD, and it didn't help them much.  The WDs just cause this mood swing thing.

It gets better!  Promise!  Talk to your doctor if it doesn't.