Birthday

[Avalancheblanche]

Today would have been my little sisters 32nd birthday.  Alcoholism took her life at age 30.  
I found a pill today.  I stared at it for a long time.  It's day 16 for me.  I am thinking "what is one little pill going to do?"  Just one?  For some reason, I opened up a purse that I have not opened for a long time.  In it I found the butterfly earings I bought last year to remind me of her.  I have been looking for them.  Somehow, that gave me the stregnth to do the right thing.
I took the pill and gave it to my husband and he disposed of it.
My heart is so heavy today.  I wish I could hug her just one more time and tell her that I love her.
For all of you out there who may be struggling with this, stay strong.  Don't let your family go thru what mine has.

[GoingToMakeIt]

I am glad that you have found memories that will speak to you for a long time. I can't take away the hurt, but in one way. Isn't it good to be able to have these emotions?
I am also proud of you. That shows inner strength to say no.You're coming along beautifully. Good job!

[marcatj]

i am so sorry... my heart breaks for you.

as CATUF said, what a gift that she is still watching over you.  and clearly her message today was not to follow in the footsteps she did (addiction.)

I am going through some similar issues with one of my sisters, and while she is still alive, i can identify with some of your pain.  and it is one of the most difficult situations I have been through.  i am so very sorry you've nad to endure this.


kudos to you for having such strength on such a difficult day.

with luv,
mj

[Avalancheblanche]

Thank you so much.  All the support and love here helps more than you know. I really do feel your hug.

[allaboutmary]

I am so sorry. My heart is truley breaking for you .  I just can't even imagine losing one of my sister's.  You got me crying too.  I don't even know what else to say, my thoughts are with you.  Stay strong.  Please feel this hug.     Mary

[Avalancheblanche]

There is no question in my mind that she led me to those butterflies.

[Avalancheblanche]

Sobbing.  Thank you

[CATUF]

I'm very sorry that you lost your little sister.  I am praying for you about that,  

But isn't it a blessing that she's still speaking to you -- especially when you need it the most.  

CATUF

[Jennifer375]

*Holding space for comfort and peace today Avalanche*  You have come through so much,,, thankgoodness. I know your sister would be and is proud of the courage you showed today.

[IMAlive]

My heart goes out to you. You will be in my prayer today.  Light a candle for you sister and tell her you will be strong for her.  You are right what will one little pill do for you, nothing but make you feel guilty.