Well, we all slip up...

[bucksfan]

Just wanted to post and let yall know that I took 3 Lortab 5's yesterday in fear of tramadol WD or maybe that was my excuse. I am not discouraged or upset because I know this is a battle that we are constantly fighting and will not give up. I have been quitting off and on for 5 years now. So to recap: I hurt knee and began taking roxi 15's and up to 90MG a day. Over two weeks ago I stopped taking them and took some of my prescribed tramadol for my knee. After about 3/4 days clean I twisted my knee so I took my last 15mg Roxi. I then went 11 days without any opiates and taking 25MG or half of one tramadol a day at the end. I was afraid that taking tramadol for so long would cause me to go through WD's again so I took 3 Lortab 5's yesterday although I hadnt felt any WD's symptons so maybe I wasnt really scared. Anyways, It has now been over 24 hours since and I feel fine, besides the normal mental games that come with being clean for 10-15 days. I was a little worried that I would start the Wd's over because of the tramadol or taking the lortab 5s yesterday morning/afternoon. That doesnt seem to be the case and the good news is tha in 16 days I have only taken 30MG of opiates. If I can make it another 10 days with just that amount of opiates that will be the furthest I have made it in 5 years! I am going to give it all I got because I know if I can just make it to that 30 day mark I will see so much more beauty and happiness in life. I will say that athough the pills made me feel good a little, I felt lazy on them. That was strange because they used to make me very happy and energetic. Matter of fact I wanted the high to be over and later that evening I went golfing and had the time of my life...Has anyone found that out so soon in their clean time that they actually enjoyed being sober and maybe having a beer or two than the DOC? I think it has happened before but this was sincere. I actually enjoyed being sober more than high...hmmm....

[Cantdothisanymore]

guess i seriouly missed all the wrong implications in this post. all i read into was that there is such a thing as i natural high. guess i need to pay better attention

[Htownnofrown]

What it really boils down to is that addicts can rationalize anything in the world when it comes to putting another drink or drug in their body, case in point. When we finally get to a point where we are ready to grasp the life preserver of recovery with the desperation of drowning men, we then recover.

Switching to alcohol or another drug is not the way addicts regain happiness in their lives and certainly does not constitute being clean. Some people ar not ready to take the drastic measure of elminating all mind altering substances from their lives, and I fully respect that. My program of recovery isn't for everyone, only people who truly accept that we are addicts and to recover we must change everything.

Good luck to you and I hope that you get into RECOVERY soon.

[vicki595]

My pills were prescribed for me,also. I had pain. I took them everyday for 25 years. Is
that okay,too???

It doesn't matter if you feel high or not. You took them. That's a problem. You didn't have any pain and you didn't have withdrawals. You just took them.

You should try to look at that...

And it's just not nice to throw others' drug use in their face...if you take less it does not make you less of an addict.  It all boils down to the same thing...

All the best~
Vicki

[dominosarah]

We all just want the best for you but we want you also to know that you need to keep your guard up cuz if you dont this addiction will come back and slap you silly.....

[LeaAnn807]

You are correct.  I was taking 15 a day, and I was so addicted to it that it ran my life!  BUT....that is not the difference in me and you.  The difference in me and you is that I take this VERY seriously.  I am looking at this realistically.  I do not make light of it.  

[bucksfan]

Guess we going to have to agree and disagree about that one Vikki. Good Luck to yall and see ya around.

[dominosarah]

Well let me add my 2 cents in too......ANY amount of mg's put into an addicts body is too much.  The beast that lives in your head is wide awake and screaming.  Addiction is a serious thing here, something that should never be taken lightly.  It kills us.  We just lost a very valuable member in the alcohol forum to addiction.  That is the reality of this.  My other concern is your comment about having a beer or 2 instead of your DOC.  Alcohol is also a drug.  I hope and pray that you start to take this very very serious and will put in some aftercare to prevent this from happening again.  If you still have any pills in the house i would highly recommend you flush them.  All they will do is call your name.  Focus on your recovery and live in the now.  One day at a time.........sara

[bucksfan]

I took one 15 MG Roxi two weeks ago and 3 lortab 5s yesterday.....I dont consider that every day but hey whatever....and I had to take the tramadol for legit pain but 14 days of use ending with 25mg a day is hardly an addiction. Tramhater I think you were taking over 20 times that amount a day...so big difference there. Regardless, I am better than I have ever been and going golfing and out to dinner. I will not live my life in fear because of an addiciton so I guess that is where we have fundamental differences.

[vicki595]

Hi~  The posts above just nailed it!  I'll only emphasize that you MUST get rid of any pills in the house if you truly want to be clean and sober.

You weren't clean for 15 days...you were taking Tramadol which is an opiate. Now you are 1 day clean !!!   Start counting clean days from there...

Good luck to you and flush those pills!!

V.

[bucksfan]

I took tramadol for legit pain which is no way gets me high. I have abused opiates for many years. I took 25MG off tramadol a day for 14 days ONLY and my prescribed dosage was 200MG. Tramadol is not the same as Roxi, Oxy or Percs so I say that I have 16 days clean with only 30MG off opiate use. I am relaxed because I actually didnt like the high and I am will not live my life in fear or worry every day. Instead of panicking like many do when they slip up which then causes anxiety which then causes use, I think its better to admit it and get over it. Move on with your cleanliness instead of dreading on it. Just my opinion. I am off to go golfing and out to dinner. Since tramadol is not opiates nor my DOC I consider myself 16 days with only 30mg of use and I have not taken anything and I still feel fine if not better than I have in a long time so I know the physicals are over. Good luck to yall and your struggle.

[LeaAnn807]

I COMPLETELY agree with IBKleen here.  I am so sorry that you took the pills yesterday, but was it really a relapse?  How many days had you been clean?  Were you in recovery or just "not using?"  It seems that you have been taking something this entire time?  I apologize if I seem blunt, but I only really remember posts about you taking pills.  Not being clean.  Changing from one addictive pill to another and then back is not a relapse.  It is just continuing to use something.  

I honestly wish you the best, but this is what I warned you about when you first posted about taking the tramadol.  It is just not good to use something to get off something else.

I don't want you to beat yourself up, like IB said, but you do need to reflect on what's going on here, in my opinion!  You took something for "withdrawals" that you did not even have????

I wish you the very best.  I'm not trying to come down on you, but I want you to figure out how to do it this time, so this doesn't kill you, ok?  Please think about what I have said!

[IBKleen]

Hi,

I am sorry to hear about your relapse. It does sound like an excuse as even you said you did not take them for legitimate pain.

Please don't misunderstand when I say that you seem very relaxed about this and that concerns me. I don't want to see you beat yourself up over it but I would like to see you sit up and take notice. Relapse is not a requirement and each one should be taken seriously and examined. Chronic relapsers have a hard time getting clean. Look at the time you have been a member here.

My fear is that until you hit another bottom, or maybe your first bottom, you will continue to do this. Do you have any "Just-In-Case" left in the house? If so, now would be a good time to get rid of them.

Please, take this serious and get the support you need, both here and in real life.

I wish you the best and hope you hang around here and talk with others.

[Cantdothisanymore]

correctin - I meant holding a script not hiding !  lol

[Cantdothisanymore]

that's a great post and gives me hope since i am on day 21 and that 30 day mark is not far off. i am hlding a script now for percs that i have not filled and it was given to me on thursd, 3 weeks ago i would have filled that script pronto but after 21 days clean it feels like if i do i will be betraying myself even though i am in post surgical pain. there is a natural high when your clean that i had totally forgotten about after 10 years of 20 vics/percs a day. thank you for the reminder of that.