What do I do?

[finsfan4ever]

I had a plan to stop using this Thurs. I planned the time off with my wife, organized all the supplies, scheduled the off time with work. Felt very confident about being ready. Then yesterday, I woke up at midnight and decided I wanted to see how long I could go without one. Usually after 8 hours the aches etc... made me go and take one. I stayed busy, walked the beagles for 1 1/2 hrs last night before bed. About 5-6 miles. Took a tylenol pm and an old valium I had before I went to bed at 10pm.
I woke up this morning at six, and I made it without one! I am now approx. 28 hrs without.
I feel weird, my stomach is a little messed up.
Now I dont know what to do. The plan was Thurs. I could be off for 10 days and wife would be home because shes a teacher and school is out. The reason I didnt start this week was I had important meetings this week and wife had a class she COULD NOT MISS. Now that I'm 28 hrs in I want to keep going. Wife is a little upset, she has to go to her classes this week and I have to work till thurs. She said I made her feel guilty cause we had a plan, but now I kinda started and she feels guilty about having to leave me. I told her I would be ok and to please go to her classes. I dont know if I could make it thru my work on tues weds thurs anyway. Lotta rambling as usual, anybody got any ideas? Should I stick to the original plan or keep going now?

[finsfan4ever]

night was brutal again. took one @ 1am...but not taking any for work.....1 step better than yesterday,and thurs is right around the corner.
Thanks for the kind words....although very little appreciation for my engelberg quote! That old huh tgtiff?  Should be able to blog a little at work today if i can get on the unsecure server.
maybe around 10.....
@the beach,missed you yesterday...hope to touch base with u soon....ok...time to save the world!
see ya in a bit.....kinda foggy, sorry for the crappy post
I LOVE you all!

[gnarly_1]

Went threw your post ....you did a good job fighting it out now when thru comes the chips are down its time to detox you you got a feel for what to expect it will probably be the same just dont plan on sleeping for a wile I will be here thur see ya then..........Gnarly

[tgtiffany]

Hi, I read most of your thread..not all, as I wanted to post so I can sleep soon while the babies are sleeping haha.  Most though.  First off I want to tell you (like everyone else has) that you're not a loser!!!  So don't say that.  You gotta stay positive for all this to work :)  And I can tell that you are usually VERY positively and have a great sense of humor.  You CAN and WILL get through this!!!  And...lol I was going to say "and you're NOT old"....but that quote...lol okay, I'm moving on before I get in trouble...lol

Keep your head up.  It might be he ll but you have to fight through it.  Your wife is amazing.  My husband was addicted to Hydrocodone for a little over 8 years.  Been together for 4-5? lol (aren't girls supposed to remember these things? LOL) He took a LOT too. At the end he was taking like 20-30 a day EASY. It was hard to know/see my husband using, even if he was in pain.  So I'm glad that you apologized to her :)  When you posted that you told her it was her fault I wanted to come through the screen and bonk you on the head. lol.  (but I contained myself :P ) lol I hope that today/tomorrow is a better day for you.  You can do this, and I understand the whole work thing.  Just try to take one and see if that helps, don't just take 3 at a time lol.  It might also help with the WDs and act like a minor taper...you know?  Keep your head up and stay positive :)  And when you feel like using, log on here and post post post.  This site is amazing isn't it?!!!  I'm surprised I didn't find your post sooner..sorry!!!  Now I'll be a regular :)  MAN UP!! and as always...don't forget to smile :)

[atthebeach]

hey glad to see you are doing ok. was a bit worried today when you didnt post. i thought maybe it was the big meeting you were waiting for. yea the triggers so  one of yours is sat morning, cigars and french vanilla cappacinos , yum ... well the coffee not so sure if you feel anxious and get the anxiety the caffeine will not be so good. remember you gotta change the eating habits. hydros,cigars & coffee? somethings gotta go... eat lots of fruits and veggies, yogurts, not much red meat. try turkey burgers, lots of chicken, yogurts.
i havent eaten red meat and pork in 35 yrs. and i dont miss it at all. did you walk the dogs tonite? keep up the walks, but you have to do it sober.lol. keep on keeping on.
sending blessings and hugs
debbie

[finsfan4ever]

getting late, tomorrow another day,gonna call it a day,spend a few moments with my family, apoligized to my wife, were good,she reads my stuff,and others,knows what to expect, she is the best....Kinda like ALL OF YOU!
If I dont get back in tonight, I'll post in the morning...lol, my morning anyway,3am.
Cant tell you what all of you mean to me. Maybe one day I could help someone.
Wish me luck, or at least "shelter from the rain, a roaring fire to keep you warm"
Now im quoting englebert humperdink...
I AM OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[finsfan4ever]

Thanks for the kind words, and you're right, this place, reading about others, the way people you don't even know(although I have gotten to know a few Pats/Giants/Raiders/Saints fans *lol*)
come to your aid when I need it the most. It humbles me when I read about others who are in WAY MORE PAIN than I ever was, and were using WAY MORE THAN ME were and continue stay clean and stay positive.
I am over the pity party (i was gonna say "acting like a girl", but since coming here I have met some pretty tough ladies, and NO WAY I'm going to insult them...LOL) and am set for D-DAY thursday. Thanks Bethany!