drug is calling

[cat9841]

I stopped using fentanyl patches  3 1/2 weeks ago. went through 8 days of withdrawal and it was tough. since then never even thought of using it again.  then tonight, out of the blue, I found one of my patches, and ever since, its like a demond calling to me to put it on. its not that I am going to, but its such a weird thing, even to think like this. its like it has a life of its own or something. anyone else had an experience like this?
CAT

[Jacqui805]

I never had, and don't now have any desire for it.  Like I say, I had a tolerance and a dependence...of course that didn't make the w/d any easier.  I do wonder about taking stuff in the future though too.  I know someone's gonna wanna put me on something and I'm gonna not have to agree.  I don't wanna do this again, no way no how.  I'm gonna do whatever I can to get through this, and get diagnosed and maybe even hope for treatment or even cure.  I suppose for those that do crave, there's got to be consideration for your triggers.  Kinda like when you eat when you're not hungry, but are bored, sad, lonely, mad, etc.  Same deal, different substance.  I think knowing that is probably a large part of the battle, then there's listening to the reasoning part of your brain during those circumstances and fighting it off through activity or replacement with something decent.  I would imagine that over time, you retrain your brain to associate those new things with pleasure again.  I think for most, provided they're not in a situation where they're seeing users all the time, they'll be o.k.  

[NautyOne]

good girl.

[worried878]

Now I can sleep    a comfort to all by you doing that...you helped us all.....i will sleep like a rock

[cathy5841]

i think you will always have to on your toes and watchin out for it.  we all have built in triggers we must learn to control.

great job on flushing it.  you just beat your first trigger. way to go.
cathy

[cat9841]

I REALLY don't want to take anything. after going through the w/d now I am scared to take even herbs or natural things untill I read about it and find out what the side effects are and all.  I am finding out that part of getting off the s*** is the mind, where did the desire come from, its out of nowhere, how long does it take for that part to go away?
CAT

[GoingToMakeIt]

Way to go CAT!!!!!!!!!!

[Oxykicker]

Great, the f****rs gone, bet you feel proud, you should do, well done, \i am proud of you to, as are all of us.

David.xxxxxxxxx

[Jacqui805]

So glad you flushed it!  That took cojones.  Like GoingToMakeIt said, I went through hell for so long, I swore I wouldn't live through it.  I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy and I truly mean that.  It's torture.  It's rough to have pain too, on top of the w/d, and like I said, I am unfortunately, also familiar with that as well.  Removing that temptation was the best thing you've done for yourself in a long time, you'll look back on that and heave a huge sigh of relief, trust me!

Jacqui

[Oxykicker]

Have you flushed that ****** yet, PLEASE DO IT NOW, your pain is bad, but boy those W/Ds are worse, let us know you have done it PLEASE, we all love you and are rooting, go on gal do the beat thing you will ever do, FLUSH THE LITTLE ******.You will feel great when you have, believe me, I flushed 300, the poor fishes.

David.

[cathy5841]

oh cat, i am so glad you are not going to use it....but, to make us feel better please flush it NOW.  dont keep it in a weak moment it could be your downfall.  you mind as an addict can not handle you doc being available and not using it.  especially after being off for several weeks.  your addiction will talk to you and do its best to trick you.  flush please.
cathy

[cat9841]

ok, its flushed, thanks all of you!!
cat

[cat9841]

thats weird, it was about 5 when I suddenly 'found' the extra patch, maybe its some weird phenomina going around???  

[toxictome]

Get rid of it....you will drive yourself crazy...and then who knows what would  happen.

You don't need the temptation around you. You have come TOO FAR to go backwards...

It IS a DEMON......KILL IT!

Keep posting and let us know what you decide to do with it!

good luck!

[GoingToMakeIt]

I was just going to tell cat to get your view on this.
Cat, Jacqui just got through w/ds from you know where. Fentanyl is one of the nastiest withdrawals there is. If you only had 8 days. Count yourself lucky.
Quit now while you're ahead.

[Flutterby111]

Burn it, wait, no,   may start a fire.....flush it flush it!!!!  I flushed some pills too!!!!  It sucked!  But I'm glad I did!!!! Glad you posted, it helps to share, doesn't it?  We're here for you!

[worried878]

did you flush it yet?  it is a good feeling...kinda scary but really makes you feel kinda good and strong....flush that joker

[cat9841]

it is mean, nasty and evil, and I won't use it,
I just think its so weird how the mind works.
I just had spinal fusion surgery, 2 months ago, I still have pain, it would help, but the w/ds are not worth it, the w/ds are worse than the pain I am having so no, no, no.
CAT

[GoingToMakeIt]

We like happy fish here. Flush it and do you and the fishees a favor.

[Jacqui805]

Can I totally relate!  I was on 200 mcg of fentanyl for four years.  I'm currently 39 days without, soon to be 40.  I was dependent on them, rather than addicted, but while I was going through several weeks of hell (approx. 3-4), I swear, had I found the one I lost in the house, I think I'd have used it in hopes to end my suffering.  

As a matter of fact, the pain I originally took the **** for was pretty bad tonight from about 5:00 on, and I layed on heat until just moments ago.  I was thinking to myself, what would I do, had I found the thing now?  I'd like to think I wouldn't use it, but who knows what the he** I'd have done.  I'm lucky in that my mind, me, my essence, never felt so good, but my body, it may have betrayed me, who knows.

Jacqui

[Oxykicker]

No no no no no no no no, chuck the ******* thing down the toilet, burn it PLEASE, you have won, it's evil temptation, PLEASE just get rid, think of how great life is without.

Thinking of you David ( oxykicker ).

[worried878]

refuse the call and flush the patch....you have quit...keep posting