What to do with that painful dark hole we call a void in recovery

[corey411]

As addicts in recovery we all seem to be able to relate to that painful place we go after detox that feels like a big black hole in our soul. I've noticed through posts over the months that I've been part of the forum and from people sharing at my NA meetings that so many of us can't bear the pain and try to fill it up right away with whatever gives us a little instant gratification. Things like jumping into a relationship, over-eating, sex or spending way too much money.(The money and eating was me). I've spent alot of time thinking and meditating on what I can do to heal that hole. I think that before I became an addict there were irreplacable parts of ME there. Things that my higher power put there when I was created that were neglected so badly during my drug use that they will take awhile to grow back and fill that hole up. Things like honesty, compassion, open-mindedness and gratitude. It seems that all of the quick fixes don't last very long and the pain soon returns. I read in an article that it's a God-shaped hole. I thought that was beautiful. I'm trying to be patient and to have alot of faith that the things that were the best part of me will return in time and that emptiness will become joy again. I just keep reminding myself that it's a God-shaped hole and I need to be really mindfull of what I allow in it. God Bless all of you in your recovery, Corey

[road2recovery]

I totally agree..Even though it feels good to be clean, and my body really feels healthy..There is still a hole..some days it is bigger then others..
Anyway, i can totally relate to that!!
r2r

[worried878]

i know that black hole....doomy feeling for sure...i filled it with exercise and trying to stay healthy....i think like u said...the hole was there before..and we filled it full of drugs