Where is Dr. Steve?

[skipper]

i have a simple question, where has Dr. Steve been? it seems as if he hasn't answered any questions for a awfully long time. i know a lot of people take issue with his mostly out of the can answers, have his feelings been hurt? perhaps his (Dr. Steve) practice is far too demanding to be bothered by a bunch of dopers? at any rate i sure hope he (Dr. Steve) is doing ok. perhaps things will slow down enough that Dr. Steve will be able
to honor his commitment to this forum!
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[groovygirl]

i think whoever said it was right about in-patient detox. i have a child, a job and many responsibilities, but i went in-patient last christmas night. i somehow worked it out - believe me, it was not easy.  although the inpatient didn't really work for me, it got me going in the right direction.  people manage to sometimes do the "impossible" to get what they need.

does your husband know the severity of the situation?

[hippy]

the vortex, the disease of addiction,
The earth is spinning,
a winter's midnite.
Silence, a nourishing pain.

[hippy]

The earth is spinning,
a winter's midnite
Silence, a nourishing pain.

Knowledge refracted becomes
useless confusion.

terror of death,
the blind facade.

Death's silent laughter
seen on rustic smiles
of the living dead.

Keeps perfect rhythm
with the world's silent
tear drops of angry pain.

Misery rages its destructive
battles on man's cerebral
landscape of fear.

the repressing generals of this
great battle of death are

fear, deception,selfpity
      shame,
denial, hate
      loneliness,
      depression.

their laughter echoes silently
I am not good enough!
I am not good enough!
I am not good enough!

as birth and death march on.

[oh please already]

good morning   do you want to know something very strange  i feel good.ive taken the recipe and i dont feel so bad.only 3 vicoden for the back ache   instead of my usual 15 oxy 40 and its not so bad. im a little breathless but im going to sit on a bench and take emma to the park,it beautiforl out..I have a very self centered concern,i know that i should go to na ,i was and i like most meetings and then it occured to me that like me most addicts slip and i was hhearing some pretty horrible storys and started worring about leaving emily with some of those kids unsupervised,some have had a horrible time of it  and you just dont know. I live in long island ,ny in a pretty ethinic area and we tend to stand out at the na.All of you with someone should thank god,its hard when everyone is involved with drugs,my husband also takes pain pills so its always a reason why we both cant quit at the same time.which is why  im so glad i found here-all of you give me hope-so offically its been 3 days with a total of 10 vicoden and im  not so bad.  ill type after the park    have a great day.(just remember im physo and subject to mood swings any moment  but hey   im trying

[tex3]

Angst -- Yes, by all means call me tracy! My mood today is pretty good, I just hope it lasts. I get so pissed off sometimes, and then others I'm downright giddy. For some reason this morning I had stories in my mind and was finally ready to write again. But I still had cravings, too. That really sucks. For your daughter, have you tried ibuprofen? The anti-inflammatory properties are supposed to help. Keep up the aloe vera too. There's also this stuff called "second skin" that helps with burns. One of my daugthers is very pale (strange because my baby is very brown; although only 1/4 Hispanic she looks like a full-blood, and my oldest has dark hair and eyes but pale skin), looks like she's full blood German. She burns like crazy...

WW -- I will write more to you personally about our common endo horrors. I can't take the pill, and have had a total hyst anyway. I'm better now than I have been in years, but still have bad days.

MEAGAIN -- I want to help you so bad. I have three babies too and never thought I could do inpatient. It was very hard as I had to call my boss, who was the sheriff, and tell him of my problem. I called my husband daily, just sobbing, beggin him to bring me home. But it got better. Let's talk, please. I really want to help you. Can you tell me where you live? If you email me that info, and even your phone # if you want me to call you, maybe I can help in some way. I hate that you are going through this. It sucks. I do believe, however, that my two "official" detoxes have made me a much stronger person. In the midst of this last one I was ripping out my hair, but I made it. That one was at home. Let's talk, please. Email me at ***@****. I'm here for you, any time.

Groovy -- Get to a doctor! When I blacked out like that it was from a seizure. I was on the phone with my mom-in-law and felt perfectly fine. Apparently I cried out "Oh my God" and that was the last she heard. She called 911. I must have dropped the phone and it hung up. About 15 mins later, after many calls, my husband finally got through to me. I guess I couldn't find the phone because I answered on the speaker, while EMS was pulling up. He said I was talking kind of crazy, told him I was just cleaning the house. He said to let him talk to the medics, and I turned around and said "My mom wants to talk to you." Weird. A few other things pointed out I'd had another seizure. Mine was a grand mal, but a petit mal would be much less dramatic (although equally serious), you would just kind of space out. I'm not saying this was what happened to you, but you need to find out. Don't mess around, just in case. What if you'd been driving? I'm not supposed to drive for six months now, but after the first two I started again, as I really had no choice. Please be careful and find out what's going on; I'm worried about you. Don't mean to overreact, but want you to be safe.

Hippy -- I'm with you. I'm doing very well in my recovery, I think, but if I actually had pills in my house I'd devour them. Strange, but I have a script for them but won't pick it up. I'm good with willpower in that respect, but if they were in front of me, no. I'd take them, no doubt. I'm just not that strong yet. So I just don't let myself actually see or touch the drugs. I know that sounds weird, but that's where I'm at. Like you, I didn't even enjoy them at all at the end. But that evil voice in my head keeps whispering that I've been off them long enough now that I'd probably get a good buzz....I'm battling that, and so far, so good. Just have to stay strong, which I'm trying. Maybe I should try Naltrexone, so I'd know I wouldn't enjoy it.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

[groovygirl]

hi - do you think those cravings and that evil voice will ever go away?  i get them, and i'm still using buprenex...no buzz there that's for sure.  they say it makes you feel "normal" - i don't even know what that means, except i feel pretty darn good, so if this is normal, i'll take it!

inpatient detoxes do make it more "official" - plus, if you have to rearrange your whole life to be able to go to a program, it might have more impact on you...kind of like if you have to save up money for something, you might appreciate it more than it it was just handed to you.  my feeling is if there's a will there's a way...i don't think inpatient works for everyone (it didn't really for me), but it gets you on the right road - i actually learned a lot while i was in the hospital.