Will i be an addict for life?

[Eveleivibe]

Will I be an addict for life now or do i stop being one now im quitting codeine?

[vrgrrl]

Hey it's ok. I'm 13 days past Fentanyl that I was given immediately post op in January and then my body clung to it, I had a seizure, and the doctors had to do a slow taper off of it with me and it's been awful...I had no idea what it was like to be on a drug like that and not be able to just stop taking it...wow have I had my eyes opened! I have trouble with the addict word too because when I first was told that I was addicted to the Fentanyl I reacted like they were saying I was a horrible no good person all of the sudden and I hadn't done anything but take what they gave me and follow what they said about tapering off of it. But they only meant that my body was addicted to it...and there are other words (drug tolerant, etc) but at the end all that matters is that I'm off the stuff and not going back on it. So I'll have to be really careful for the rest of my life and make sure no one gives me something like this again because I know what can happen. I'm completely exhausted....mentally and physically...people here tell me that it won't be there for much longer, don't panic...it is what it is and I will be through this before I know it and so will you when you are ready. We're all only human and we just have to keep getting ourselves through this. We can...and I know that eventually...soon...we'll be feeling a long stronger and better than we have in a long, long time. *hugs*

[nursegirl6572]

Well, there is no question that w/ds can be rough, but the great thing is, they don't last long, at least the very worst of them.  Everyone here will tell you that w/ds stunk, but they managed to get through them somehow.  

There ARE some things you can do to make them a little more tolerable.  When you're ready, we can explain some approaches to treating some of the w/d symptoms.  There is no magic "cure" for w/ds, but definitely some options.  Many people just resign themselves that they just won't feel good for a short while, much like if you'd have a bad flu.  It's a well worth it trade off for the rest of your life back without pills though.

Your usage is pretty high, and as you know with tolerance, that has the potential to spiral out of control quickly.  This really IS the perfect time to decide how you want to proceed, before things get any worse.

[Eveleivibe]

But i did try. I tried for 6 days to stick to the taper n the withdrawals were unbearable im talking the mental stuff. How in the world did you all get through that because i have a new admiration for you all i really do.

I wasn't well n was in bed as had no energy n my mam practically accused me of doing it to myself, on day 5. That really hurt because i wasn't. It scared me because i felt i was never going to get better n how was i meant to look after little 1 like that????? N i was going to have to pretend i was feeling ok too. All i kept thinking about was codeine n how life sucked, even exercise which i loved, without it - how was i going to get codeine n that one day all those people stopping me doing codeine would no longer be here so i could have as such as i want. I know thinking this way was wrong, very but its how i felt n i never want to go through that again ever :(

[Eveleivibe]

Thank you for replying to me n in depth. That was lovely n kind of you. I really appreciate that. Everyone on this forum has been so very nice, thoughtful n kind n it really does mean a lot to me.
When i went to other message boards they were very harsh with me n i spent  every day crying. I kept going back because I never knew there was other support sites until I found this one.
People do not force me to call myself an addict here. I guess i am one :( but I'd like to hope that i sm not offending snyone by that as I am not going at anyone im just struggling to come to terms with all this as i've led a dheltered life n haven't so much as had a fag.
I've had this 'addiction' thing for 10 months thats all was using upto 700mg codeine though Zi don't think the doctor believed me as he's prescribed me 15 mg x 4 (60mg) codeine phoshate. My mam brings them here n i take them.

[NotPennysBoat]

Yes!!!!! It feels exactly like you can't live without the pills. I want to cry, you're hitting home so much here. Once you really, really wean off of them and are down to nothing...you're gonna see the clouds part and remember that you DID live without those pills. And it was great.

[NotPennysBoat]

Hi..I know I just responded to you...but our situations seem super similar and I want to share something with you. Someone else mentioned that you have a child. I have a five year old son. I used to be a teacher, and one of my pre-kindergarten student's mother passed away. She was addicted to painkillers and codeine (any opiate I guess), just like you and me. She went to sleep with my student in her bed. When my student woke up, she tried to wake up her mother in the bed with her. Her mom was already dead. This is not some story I found on facebook. This happened to a little girl in my class. It was devastating. This happened nearly six years ago now. Like I said in my other post, March 23rd I decided to get off these stupid opiates. The reason for that was because the night before I had a dream that basically replayed the whole thing when the little girl's mom died.

I guess I was being selfish, but I never thought that that could happen to me and my son. It could happen to you and your child. After awhile, it's not gonna get you high anymore and you're gonna look for something else to supplement it with to get higher.

You need to do this for yourself and your child. Don't get preoccupied by your family and their judgment and afflictions. Rise above their afflictions. You can do it!