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Withdrawal and Depression
I finally got to post!! I have been experiencing severe withdrawal/depression the last few days, so much that I have found myself crying on a few occasions, I have been feeling like there is no way out of this awful life style, and if I get close to being clean, I get scared when I think of leading a sober life..... I can't handle it anymore, I lie to everyone, I hurt everyone and I waste all my godamn money on drugs, what the hell is the point? If it weren't for people in this forum, its a possibility I might not be here right now. How do I ease this pain, physically and mentally....... I would appreciate any and all posts. I hope I make it through this, I'm not feeling so well. GWH I will be here all day.
I hear ya, I went to a business school, all my friends are either working as financial analysts, accountants, auditors, etc... they all work in either boston or Manhattan(wall street etc.) I chose the other route.....SALES, I'm doing quite well with it, it is the reason why I had money to spend, but now I get pissed off when I think about how hard Ive been working and how easy it is to spend on drugs. I refuse to lose any of my money on drugs, unless its a prescribed med for the flu or sinus infection, but no more narcotics from the street or the pharmacist. The sun definitely felt great, I just ate lunch with my girlfriend and it made me feel so much better.
GWH
GWH
Yeah, I work. I just graduated college last year, with a degree in finance. (who'd have thought I would **** my money away on dope?, Huh?) I work as an accountant right now.
I like my job, and want to keep it. I noticed myself slipping at work, due to too much use. My boss suspected something. He flat out asked me if I was on drugs, when I did some stupid mistakes from being stoned. My work ethic and productivity have actually gone up in the last few days at work, even though I barely have the energy to get out of my chair.
Sun was good today, I didn't need any pills either, Things are looking good.
As far as that rule of thumb thing is concerned, don't sweat it, It is different for everyone i hear. There is no rule of thumb with drugs, if there was, quitting would be easy...
Focus on that beautiful girl of yours. You need her now, more than you need us. But, don't lose sight of yourself either. You need to treat yourself good these days, you're finally gonna do it. It will be a bad memory soon....
I like my job, and want to keep it. I noticed myself slipping at work, due to too much use. My boss suspected something. He flat out asked me if I was on drugs, when I did some stupid mistakes from being stoned. My work ethic and productivity have actually gone up in the last few days at work, even though I barely have the energy to get out of my chair.
Sun was good today, I didn't need any pills either, Things are looking good.
As far as that rule of thumb thing is concerned, don't sweat it, It is different for everyone i hear. There is no rule of thumb with drugs, if there was, quitting would be easy...
Focus on that beautiful girl of yours. You need her now, more than you need us. But, don't lose sight of yourself either. You need to treat yourself good these days, you're finally gonna do it. It will be a bad memory soon....
enjoy the sun, it should be relaxing, yea, I hate myself to, I find myself mad more then anything lately, but when I'm with her, I do nothing but treat her like a princess, I wait on her hand and foot, she gets everything from me and she deserves it. Dive, do you work? if so in what field? I'm going to lunch in a few as well, I will look forward to hearing from you when I get back.
GWH
GWH
According to your rule of thumb, I should shoot myself, hahahah, just kidding, not that bad right now, but that means it will take me 3 to 4 months to feel like myself, we will see. keep up the positive energy.
GWH
GWH
I know that feeling dude, I too am trying to focus on how awful it felt to know I had to use to avoid withdrawals in front of her. When we would be together for a weekend or more, I planned ahead, knowing I needed x amount of pills just to "make it". I hate myself for that more than anything, and will not use again knowing that. So yea, like I said, not that different...
Sorry for the many posts, just today I need to talk to someone who is going through what I am. I relate to you more than anyone else here, and I thank you for taking the time to shoot the ****. I will keep posting later, going to lunch now, not to eat, but to just sit outside and take in the sun.
Take care GWH, and everyone....
Sorry for the many posts, just today I need to talk to someone who is going through what I am. I relate to you more than anyone else here, and I thank you for taking the time to shoot the ****. I will keep posting later, going to lunch now, not to eat, but to just sit outside and take in the sun.
Take care GWH, and everyone....
I feel some, but I can tell it's gonna take time. I find myself forcing myself to get off the couch or get out of bed. Doing laundry last night was almost too much to handle physically, and I used to have so much energy I wouldn't even bat an eye on laundry as a "Mission Impossible" which is what it felt like.
My mental state is better, but energy is definitley down. I am trying to eat good and take vitamins and such, but eating is not something I want to do right now. I lost two holes in my belt over the last two weeks of being off the Hydros. While yes, I needed to loose weight, I would have prefered it not be due to detox.
I can see this dragging out, but maybe that's what we all need, to cross that two month (or whatever) marker and get the energy back to finally quit taking pills. I don't know, that's new territory for me. I haven't been this clean for this long in almost a year. Hang in there, we will make it past this dreadful feeling. It will take time though, I know, I was high for almost a year, Coming down will take more than a week. Someone once told me that there was a rule of thumb for every year you used, it will take a month to get out of your system and feel like yourself again. By this rule, I only have a couple more weeks, but even 2-3 weeks is an eternity right now.
My mental state is better, but energy is definitley down. I am trying to eat good and take vitamins and such, but eating is not something I want to do right now. I lost two holes in my belt over the last two weeks of being off the Hydros. While yes, I needed to loose weight, I would have prefered it not be due to detox.
I can see this dragging out, but maybe that's what we all need, to cross that two month (or whatever) marker and get the energy back to finally quit taking pills. I don't know, that's new territory for me. I haven't been this clean for this long in almost a year. Hang in there, we will make it past this dreadful feeling. It will take time though, I know, I was high for almost a year, Coming down will take more than a week. Someone once told me that there was a rule of thumb for every year you used, it will take a month to get out of your system and feel like yourself again. By this rule, I only have a couple more weeks, but even 2-3 weeks is an eternity right now.
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