Withdrawals and emotions?

[kimmieb]

has everyone or anyone experienced being majorly emotional when going thru wd's, even a month into it????  i'm just curious....i don't know whether to attribute this to the wd's or to my continuing insomnia or to hormonal imbalance or a bit of all three....?  any comments or experiences would be appreciated!    
thanks,
k.

[Gasten]

Absolutely does withdrawal affect your emotions--it makes them raw!!  I know as I have been going through Xanax withdrawal, insomnia, and trying to find a doctor to help for the past 2 months.  Add to that extra stressors in life, and we crumble at the slightest thing that we normally wouldn't if we were stronger.  It makes sense when you stop and think about it--the lack of sleep alone would do it for the average person, then add the withdrawal symptoms and we have a double whammy!    I guess we have to expect to live with it for a while.

[jayday88]

its been a little over 20 days total since ive had a drink..im in the process of quitting ciggarettes and alcohol together..ive done really well with cigarettes .ill be reaching the two month marker at the end of FEB havent relasped once ..alcohol has become a little harder .ive broken things down into monthly goals ..soo this month as far as quitting alcohol isnt going quite how i planned ...ill admit im really starting to regret even picking up a beer or cigg in the first placeive been on such and emotiontial rollercoaster ..i just woke up and i didn't drink at all last night or this week ..but i got the same head grogginess that i would if i had been drinking the night before ..plus the depression and anxiety ..UGH TO HELL WITH ALCOHOL!!!!

Not to mention my low self esteem .that im feeling,not to sure if thats  normal ..also issues with sensativity to stimulation ..got my mind running sometimes a mile a minute . or ill just sit down and watching for like and hour or so ...any of you ever experience these symptoms ???

[kimmieb]

thank you everyone!  i appreciate all your tried and true words of support and encouragement....didn't realize i'd get as many as i did :-)  unfortunately, i came down with a doozy of a cold yesterday and today it's even worse....never knew i had so much snot in me...ha!  so, on top of everything else (probably BECAUSE of everything else, like the no eating and no sleeping), i've got this darned nasty cold to deal with....ugh!  but, i suppose that's normal, too, based on everything i glean here......Jacqui, i'm still waiting for that sex drive of mine to kick back in.....it's been gone for SO long.....never had much of one while i was taking the lortabs....now, just days after getting off of them, it's definitely not back yet.....but maybe in a few weeks??  i just want to not feel nauseous and tired and weak and emotional all the time....like i said, just taking a shower or hitting the grocery store for a few items is enough to wear me out for the day....pretty pitiful, huh?!  hopefully that goes away, too.....anyway, thanks again to all.....i deeply appreciate your input.....
blessings to each and every one of you,
k.

[starfish1963]

I think I cried on day 4 or day 5 but that's it...I can't cry, wish I could cry me a river please!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Florida_Guy737]

Hi...almost a year later and those emotions still come and go; it's all good though.  As far as energy goes, you need food in you.  Your bod (stomach growling) is telling you that you need to eat.  Hard to workout when no energy exists.  I completely understand the loss of appetite so protein shakes, light salads, crackers, boiled chicken, PBJ on toast etc will help and the meals are small.  You also need plenty of water especially if you drink coffee or tea and smoke; dehydrates you.

As you eat and your energy comes back, light and progressive exercise will become easier for you...been there :-).

Take Care

[esteeruth]

If you can't eat, try frozen pedia lite pops. They help keep your electrolytes in balance.

[Jacqui805]

Good LORD were the emotions a mess!  I had SUCH moments where I'd cry and cry for no apparent reason.  I remember one time, I finally called my husband at work in TEARS and said in sputters, "Hon, do you think we could get out of the house tonight and have dinner out?"  He was SO sympathetic and took me out....I remember that night well....I giggled incessantly the ENTIRE dinner...for NO reason.  It was a constant up and down for a while there kimmieb.  

Also, as you get your "real" feelings back (not sure how else to put that), you DO mourn for time you lost and other sorrows that occured when you were using that you're NOW REALLY feeling.  I don't think not sleeping and constant, severe anxiety helped matters much either.  I steered completely clear of caffeine, tried all OTCs for sleep, even Ambien CR, Valerian Root, Melatonin, and somethin' else (can't remember)....nothin' worked....it's like initial w/d...nothin' really helps, you just have to go through it 'til it's done...at least for me anyway.  

INITIALLY, I had no appetite kimmie, but after that initial period, I was SO hungry and I ate like a cow.  I didn't gain an ounce from it either.  I also experienced a HUGE increase in my sex drive back then too.  Everything was more intense for a while.  Further out, things stabilize, normalize, and you start getting back into the swing of things....I think out of everything, one of the things that has really not improved a whole he!! of a lot is my short-term memory loss.  Great, new diagnosis, C.R.S.

Hang in there Kimmie, it SO gets better...I can't even begin to tell you...it's freakin' WONDERFUL!

[dominosarah]

Just hang in there........everything will get better........we abused our bodies and it does take time for everything to come together.   You are doing great!!!!        sara

[kimmieb]

thank you!  unfortunately, i AM crying these days.....but i'm crying in isolation and trying not to do it in front of anyone.....only a good friend or two who knows what i've been through and what i'm going through....unfortunately, that doesn't apply to  my husband....don't know if he'll EVER truly understand and accept that recovery doesn't just happen overnight....it's a long process....he wants immediate results or else!  i'm usually ok until someone brings up the "how ARE you??" and then it all wells up inside me and i have to fight to not cry all the time....kinda *****....and also, i haven't moved beyond the cravings yet.....i'm also in "mourning" for something i lost.....those lortabs that used to take away the pain and give me some quality of life (or so i thought)....and the thought of not having another one for the entire rest of my life is almost overwhelming right now....i guess that's why they always say "one day at a time".....but these days feel like years for some reason!  i'm still hungry but can't seem to sit down and eat anything substantial....maybe i'll have to try that ensure....but someone i know hates it and told me that she thinks it tastes like chalk...ick....does it????

anyway, thank you for your replies and support and encouragement....i really do thank you from the bottom of my worn-out heart....

blessings,
k.

[tammyk_40]

HI, Ive been where you are right now, and the bad news is you'll feel again. Bit the good news is you'll feel again! It was so hard for me to cry, I wanted to so bad the first week of w/d, but nothing would come out, and I was sooo angry. But soon after the tears came, and when I started feeling better I was able to laugh again! Something I really didnt experience when drugged up. Im sorry the amino acids arent working for you. But I know youre gonna make it!

[kshater]

kimmieb!
I think these emotional roller coaster rides as I like to call them are part of this whole separation process were going through.  I didn't have them much before and all I can do now is feel the pain and stress well up inside! Just keep close to those around you and don't hold in! I unfortunately don't have a huge support network so I'm just depending on a couple people who are extremely supportive.  Keep up the food work!

[kimmieb]

thanks, guys....i have tried valerian, melatonin, etc......didn't work....i think i need a sleep study for sure...

i ran in place for a few minutes today and did some stretching exercises.....i also visit a chiropractor for regular adjustments (helps with my neck and back pain)...

REAL hard exercise just seems out of the question right now....sometimes when i'm standing, i get so dizzy i have to sit down....i can't imagine passing out at a health club!!

ok, so i hope my husband comes around....i'm not sure he will....this morning, it was as if he was giving me an ultimatum.....either get myself better NOW or he's going to have to file for divorce!  whatever happened to "in sickness and in health, til death do us part"?????  i'm recovery, for God's sake!

thanks and blessings....
k.

[refusingbondage]

Just want to add - as crazy as exercise sounds cause of the extreme fatigue - It will actually help.  Force yourself to eat healthy and force yourself to do a little exercise.  It will help with emotions, energy and maybe even help you sleep better at night.  The sleep is an issue - have you tried the natural stuff (melatonin or valerian root??).. how about benadryl?  Hang in there!

Oh and my guy really expected me to 'get over it' after the first month.  In fact, anyone who knew what I was going through was really really OVER it after that first 30.. But eff them.  Your body will take as long as it needs to heal - you can help it along the way by eating healthy (protein, vegetables, complex carbs) and exercising.. It works wonders - but you gotta give it a try!  

To answer your last question - I didnt really feel 'better' until 90 days.  Physically was ok around 30.  But physical and emotional somewhat quasi balance came back around 90.

[vinnysmommy]

To really " feel" better I would say it was about 45 days for me.  I had detoxed from a fairly high dose of percocet habit and of curse during that time I didn't really eat or exercise.  So since I didn't take care of my body then I sure in the hell didn't feel like taking care of it after detoxing.  All I wanted to do was feel sorry for myself----did alot of that.  It was almost like I was going through the grieving process from losing my doc.  Isn't that something, grieving for something that made my life a complete mess!  I did the vitamins, extra B supplements and the ensure really did help.  Although I didn't feel like eating with the ensure at least I was getting some nutrients in.  My husband also thought I should get right up and workout, like that was going to happen!  Get up, exercise, go back to work. That's what he wanted.  Anyway, somehow he became a little more educated on this crazy thing called addiction and realized that I was not going to become better overnight and has been my biggest "fan".  Your husband will come around too!  I hope you start feeling better soon.  As for the weight, it will come back.  Like I said, 15 pounds found it's way back to me, or else my dryer is shrinking my clothes:-)

[kimmieb]

thank you.....i'm just so shaky all the time....and because i don't sleep well at night (haven't for about 8 years now), that contributes to the feeling of having absolutely NO energy at all....it takes all i have just to take a shower, that's a major accomplishment in my day!  it doesn't happen every day either....i wonder what the record is for showerless days...lol....yes, i'm trying vitamins, and i just bought the sublingual B-12 and Energy Now from Trivita.....cuz all the amino acids just aren't working for me, unfortunately....i've lost about 15 pounds so far and still going.....my husband actually wants to see me at the gym right now.....he's crazy....i have no doubt it might help a bit, but at this point, i just have NO energy, wouldn't even be able to get there, let alone do anything once i got there!  sounds like my hubby is just like yours....they think they know it all!  how long did it take you to feel "better"???  thanks so much,  k.

[vinnysmommy]

My husband also thought things would go right back to "normal" after I detoxed.  Whatever he thought was normal anyway.  That really irritated me!  As for the appetite, I had none what so ever.  I had to make myself eat and even drank ensure to try to get some of my energy back.  It too all my energy to just get around let alone eat.  I lost about 20 pounds during that time, but can now say that 15 of it has found their way back! Are you trying some vitamins?  We have depleted our bodies of so much during our using and it take awhile for it to start feeling better.  I know you feel stuck but you are going to get "unstuck"!  Just hang in there.

[kimmieb]

thanks, everyone....that's what i thought.....but i was so hoping things would be looking up a little by now!  ah well....patience....the only thing is, my husband has NO patience and expects me to just jump up and be my old self right away....doesn't have a clue....i could talk to him til i'm blue in the face and he wouldn't understand....maybe he should read some of these posts....

anyone experience the complete loss of appetite??  i sorta feel hungry sometimes (my stomach growls like crazy), but the though of putting food into my mouth is repulsive to me right now....i literally have to try to gag something down, even if it's only 3 bites of a banana....and again, i have no energy to make myself anything to eat or to go out and get something.....i feel so stuck....

thanks,
k.

[vinnysmommy]

I felt like I was riding an emotional roller coaster after detoxing.  Man, for the first couple of weeks I didn't want to do anything but sit on the couch and cry.  I couldn't laugh to save my life and just felt like I was in an empty shell.  I had to force myself to even get up to cook dinner for the family.  Most of the time didn't want to be around anyone.  I would get irritated for no reason.  I gradually started feeling better, but it took me about a month and a half to really start getting out of the funk I was in.  I got those emotions back that I thought I had lost forever.....happiness,love,laughter.  It does get better!

[refusingbondage]

I did too.  I detoxed off of suboxone and was really an emotional mess for about 90 days.  It started with crying for no reason and being miserable - I cried all day for weeks!  Then it turned into serious depression - a void and lack of any emotion at all.  Complete lack of joy.  But now its better.  The over-under emotional stuff stopped.  Its much more balanced.  I think it takes time for our body to balance itself out.  Take care.  

[gizzy32]

I came of cocaine and my one stint with prescribed oxy's at pretty much the same time, i was a mess. I didn't have many emotions till almost a month clean and it all just came out, i think it's still coming out, lol. Using drugs really messes with our brain chemisty and it's a big adjustment when we are off them, even months down the road. Maybe a lot of addicts feel too much, seems that way for many.

[kim715]

I did.I detoxed from methadone,so it took about six weeks for me to really feel physically better and then the flood gates opened and all the emotions came into play.Some days I cried so much,by the end of the day my eyes would be swollen shut,and when someone would ask me why I was crying,I would tell them I didn't know,because I truly didn't.I'm happy to say though,that has passed.I'm not nearly as emotional as I was a few months ago.Now when I'm crying,I know why and theres a reason.When I was using I don't remember a time that I felt emotion,not true emotion,and the only time I would cry was when I was out of drugs.I guess I had some good cries in me that needed to get out.I'm still learning to feel all over again,and even when I'm sad,it's just so good to feel again.All the best....Kim