Please help me understand how to help my daughter before it is too late!

[Rachel56]

My daughter takes about 85 miligrams of methadone daily. She goes to a clinic and has told me for a long time that other people who go there are put on pain pills (such as oxycodones) or clonzepams by their doctors (if they can afford one) and if they need this medicine. And, yet, in the beginning she had to promise not to take either drug. I am afraid she is doing it sometimes and I am also afraid that she will be kicked out of the clinic and then I'm not sure what she'll do. I am very worried about her and feel she could possibly have a heart attack because her health at 33 is very bad. She has a 15-year-old son who has seizures and needs her as she is the only parent she has. Can you please advise, especially if she is kicked out of the clinic as to what can be done immediately?

[10356]

Hi Rachel.. I'm very sorry to read what you and your daughter are going through and prayers are being sent up as I write this... They do not offer pain meds at a methadone clinic. it is against the rules.. with addiction it is difficult when we deal with pain.. not only does our addictions magnify our pain but we want them for just dealing with life's stresses.. sometimes getting high seems to make it all go away. I cam imagine you are very worried for your daughter and in turn your grandson. but in my honest opinion she is not ready to embrace sobriety.. this makes it difficult to help her as a addict we have to want it for ourselves.. as addicts we lie, we lie to ourselves.. it is the nature of the disease.. You can not force her into recovery but you can write her a letter. one from the heart.. not speaking of addiction but of your fears and what your life would be like to without her in it.. I know it does not seem like much but believe me it sits in the back of our brain like a tiny flame.. on your grandson having to change schools it would be ok although I know it would be stressful in the begining but once normalxy and consistency is added it makes a world of diffrence.. There is always hope mom.. I would also ask your daughter if you can go to the clinic with her just to see if she is willing.. sometimes it takes a lil but with enough prayer support things have a way of turning around.. I hope for yourself that you check into Alanon. it is a support group fpr familys of addicts. they can be found in just about any town You will be able to learn of her disease and how not to unintentioaly contribute to it.. it also gives you much needed support as the family of the addicts suffers much. I hope we hear from you again as we would like nothing more then to help you through this very difficult time. warmly lesa

[IBKleen]

Good Morning!

I was thinking of you this morning and hoping that you got some more answers here. It was probably a slow night last night or there were no members available who are familiar with the Methadone program.

I am posting now to bump this post up and hopefully you will receive some additional answers.

My prayers are with you & your family.

[IBKleen]

They do not give prescriptions for pain meds and especially benzos at the clinics. If they do it is news to me.

Check back and wait for other members who are or were more recently on the program. I am sharing my experience with you but it has been a while. Although I am 99.99999 percent certain, I cannot say 100 percent. As the night goes on others will come in and share with you.

Yes, I will certainly pray for her and you. No one should have to suffer.

[Rachel56]

Do you know for certain that it would be a lie if she has told me that there are others going to the clinic who are not getting legal prescriptions for clonzepams and oxycodones for medical problems that are too great for the methadone alone? She is in severe pain all of the time and has been in several accidents. I feel so bad for her when I know what she is going through. She is under extreme stress in her home life too so I figured if she had a doctor, they would have written her an RX for clonzepam. If what you say is true I feel that she will have to go to a clinic for several months (if the state would help), and her son will be forced to go to a school near me (which would cause him to have severe anxiety when he comes to live with me). I feel that this problem is insurmountable unless God helps her through it. Please, would everyone out there pray for her that God's will will be done here and that He will direct every step that happens from here on in her life, even if we can't see it? Without His help, I feel that there is no real and lasting hope with this problem. I feel so lost at this point. And, my heart is torn up over her wonderful son. Thanks for listening.

[IBKleen]

Hi Mom & Welcome to the forum,

No, they do not give you pain pills at the clinic. Nor will they give her any type of benzo which is dangerous to mix with Methadone. If, or when, she gets caught she will be thrown out of the program. Most likely they will do a very fast taper, like a week and let her go. A fast taper from 85 mgs is going to be rough.

I hate to say this but she doesn't sound ready to get clean.

Your only other option to insure that she doesn't go back on the pills or whatever she was doing is to get her into in-patient treatment; however, she is going to want to get the help and if she is lying now it tells me she does not want the help yet.

This is a bad situation. Do you think you can try sitting and talking with her? Tell her that you know that the clinic does not give out other meds and that you know it is a violation of her contract. Ask her to be honest with you about what she is thinking, feeling, etc. Whatever you do, do not attack her. Approach her calmly and talk with her. Be prepared that she may lie to you.

Take it one step at a time. See how that works and then we can talk about other options. Also, get some other opinions from members here before doing anything. There is great support here to listen to everyone and decide what is the best course for you.

Someone is always here so ask any questions you need to. I wish you both the best.

[LeaAnn807]

Hi!  Are you assuming that she is using or do you have a reason to think it?  If not, maybe you shouldn't worry about her being kicked out of the clinic.  I know it's hard to be the mom of an addict.  I put my mom through a lot over the years!  It has to be tough.  Do you go to Al Anon?  If not, you should try it.  

Do you know if they drug test her there?