Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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518598 tn?1215513006

Wow.. almost a year..

Wow, here is a forum I never thought I would see again. I've sat on this site, watching the conversations pass, and remembering what it was like. A year is coming up. its been countless N/A meetings, lots of crying, lots of heartache.. but it was worth it. It will be a year clean in less than 30 days.  

I won't go into my story, as anyone who may remember my posts will know, I was in a serious downhill spiral. Only I could pull myself out of it. Sure, I have an outstanding support team, yet they were not there the days and nights I spent in rehab... alone. going from... " I can't wait till i get out of here to use".. and over the course of time to.. " I can't wait to go home.. clean"
I will share with you my "defining" moment, the moment that really made me stop and think.. it's very silly, but.. humor me, and play along..
While in rehab, a mentor stood me in front of a mirror, and said.. "what do you see".. of course i could not answer that, I was still furious at the time. so the next question was.. "WHO do you see" now, keep in mind, as an addict, I saw a person who was beautiful, smart, sexy and knew what she wanted and how to achieve it. ( that's the wicked power they have, right?) that's exactly how I answered the question. wait, excuse me. that is how the ADDICT answered the question. She then held up my Intake picture, the one when you first walk in? about that..
She said, "that beautiful, smart, sexy woman?" here she is.. through the ADDICTS eyes.
through the time I used, I often wondered why people asked me every day for 5 years, "are you sick, do you feel well?" After seeing that picture, now I know.
To everyone who struggles daily in their own addiction. I am living proof you can overcome this disease. I convinced myself I could NOT live a day without my narcs. Here I am, almost a year later, never taken anything stronger than a Tylenol. You can do it. we are all here to help.. anytime..

7 Responses
495284 tn?1333894042
Oh man i look back to pics of me and all i see is is this washed up girl with bags under my eyes, bloodshot as he!! and the skin color of an elephant.......and thinking i had everyone including myself fooled.......

Congrats on your clean time and the reminder of the person i dont want to be again......sara
271792 tn?1334979657
I am happy for you and it is great.

I feel jinxed if I celebrate even one minute before my clean date. I got clean in 1988 and when I was to celebrate my five year anniversary I went out to dinner with my sponsor the night before. We were eating and I said "Can you believe it? Five years clean!". She said "What are you talking about, you have 4 years and 364 days clean". She truly taught me the meaning of one day at a time and you never know.

I will do the happy dance on your one year and so hope you celebrate it with us!!!!!!!

So, congrats on your 11 and a half months so I don't do a  jinx on you.
Avatar universal
I remember you, glad to see you are doing well..........

Congratulations on almost a year!!
518598 tn?1215513006
I do want to jump up and down and be happy, yet i agree.. I'm not just there yet! :)
52704 tn?1387020797
Good for you!!

I carry a 'before and after' picture with me everywhere and have shown it to many people in recovery.  It's almost like people are reading from a script when they see it:  there's a pause, a confused look up at me, then back at the before-pic, then an "oh my God!"

230262 tn?1316645934
hey congrats to you! You have come so far! Im proud of you! Thanks for checking back in and updating us!!
654560 tn?1331854581
Like others I hope you come back @ your year and we'll have a party. I am also a NA baby 24 1/2 years ago.My first year was mind blowing,    I never would have thought I would last 30 days much less 24 years
Glad you have a great support group    Debra   I am an addict
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495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
Avatar universal
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