Addcited to pain meds - doc won't give me suboxone

[CompletelyConfused00]

Injured my back (severely) 3 1/2 years ago. Two surgeries...year out from fusion...want off all pain meds...but pain level is at a 10. I know I can deal with the pain after I am off all meds, did it in the beginning when I hurt my back (was breastfeeding my son, couldn't take anything) but the current doctor I am seeing won't give me suboxone. He says it is for drug abusers/addicts and he only accepts cash for the treatment.
so he put me on a quarter of what I was taking (oxycodone) and I am MISERABLE.
Does anyone know of a doctor that will help me with getting suboxone?! My PCP won't see me anymore, and besides, he just likes to write scripts for pain meds.
I can NOT handle the withdrawals...I am a BUSY mother of TWO! And can not let my kids see me like this.
I am at my wits end, and all I want is help! How does everyone on here get prescribed a treatment, and I am begging for it, and can't get it?!
ANY INFO WOULD BE SO APPRECIATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bugsy89735]

Hello dear,, Well I just want you to know that we are all in the same boat! I too had 3 back surgerys and a fusion and guess what, A month ago The disc above the fusion just ruptured so now I need another one. I am now in day 5 C/T off 120mg oxy daily and its getting a little better, min by min , hour by hour, and day by day, Its rough, no doubt but this forum does help, because there are others going through the same thing. I just want send you a shout that it will pass and lets stay strong together!! It can only get better ,,can not wait to get my mind back, made horrible decisions over the last ten years. tired of the ball and chain,, Peace and love,, Bugzy/ Bobby

[abritt121222]

I feel your pain i also had back surgery about 7 and a half months ago two fusions and two screws and i still have pain to mine is not as bad if i just sit around all of the time but if i try to do anything physical or any bending over or anything like that i am in the same boat it hurts to walk get up pretty much do anything and it took me a while  to deal with the pain and get off pain meds but i have done it and am now a little over two months clean it is a hard road and i still have pain but i suck it up and deal with it and you are right it will get better once you are off of the pain meds cause i know mine did im not sayingn it is gone completelly away it still hurts but not near as bad because it used to hurt all the time when i was on meds now it only hurts when i guess i am trying to do to much try and get some mobic(nsaid) and baclofen(muscle relaxer) that seems to help me out a good bit when i am in pain and also i use a tens unit and a heat pad im not sure where to get a tens unit unless you have one thats one of those little machines with the pads that send electricity thru them and its kinda like a massage it feels wonderful.
well i hope you can get your back figured out cause i am with you on the back pain and surgery that doesnt seemed to have helped and all that and i know how awful it is but life is still better off of pain meds with pain i can deal with instead of having to chase meds and always worry about where and how to get them

Good Luck and Godspeed

ABritt

[ang_811]

I'm really happy ur not going the meth route... U can do this if u really want it... If u need support or r havn a bad day, bad min, or even a bad sec u can find so much here.. Good luck...ur freind Angie

[CompletelyConfused00]

Thanx for the advice ang_811...and all who have posted!
I have been weaning off the pain meds under dr. care. It has been a ROUGH month. I am starting to feel better at coping with the withdrawals. After reading about the suboxone and meth...I am glad I didn't go down that road. I recently had two mri's cuz they didn't know what was causing all this 'pain' I was talking about. I recently had two back surgeries...last one a fusion that took great. My back is stable...but I have this awful pain in the right low back that shoots down my leg. And they have been tellin me it was just the pain meds...get off and you will feel better. Well, now that the mri shows I have a problem...they are regreting telling me that. NOW they say they understand why I was taking so much! I have - spelling not right i am sure - gluteal tendenopathy - which in turn makes my entire low back on the right and right leg in horrendous pain and then it goes numb!
I have to go for extensive massage therapy to try and fix this, or my other option is surgery...which I want to avoid...especially cuz they say I have TONS of scar tissue in my low back and butt.
So, still on a scale of 10 with pain, trying my hardest with the decrease in meds...I pray every day I make it thru.
Now that I have a better idea what is causing all this pain, I hope it will help me get off the meds. I wish it was just mental, yet my heart rate is up right now.
So, last week it rained for four days straight...I double my already decreased meds cuz I CRIED FOR FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT IN PAIN.
COULDNT WALK OR EVEN SIT. So in turn, I have run out of meds. Which is making my heart rate go up. Just took a valium - prescribed with the weaning - and I hope that it gets me thru this.
So basically I am COLD TURKEY for the next two days! I am very positive about it, not freaking like I used to. My chest hurts - that is all that scares me...it seems very tight-but the valium didnt kick in yet. hopefully that goes away. Will stay off my feet most of the day, cuz my leg is numb and I am very unstable. gonna be hard to do...my kids rely on me! BUT they also know mamma has a back problem.
Sad thing is...when my back and leg are at its worst, i sit in my recliner wth a couple of pillows under my thigh - it works to take some pressure off - well - i found my five year old son sitting next to me doing the same thing as me! :(
Seeing my kids sympathize for me---copy me---look at me with that sad face---makes me want to just chew a few pain pills and go to the park and play ball. Then they wouldn't see mom suffer. But - then I keep telling myself that I cant go thru what I did a month ago with those massive withdrawals! That felt like DEATH!
So I come here and read stories, and type till I make all your eyes bleed - or fall asleep - sorry everyone! It helps though. And I need the help. NO ONE understands this - just the people I chat with here.
And I THANK EVERYONE for your kind, caring advice and support!!!!

[ang_811]

If I were u I wd just tapper off the pain meds and not worry bout gettng suboxone. I was where u r two yrs ago. I was on methadone and then had the worst wds so then I got put on suboxone to get off the methadone i really hope the suboxone isn't that hard to get off like the methadone. I'm not going to lie, going that route really put stability in my life. But I wasn't getting a prescription of pills, never have, I always bought them offbof people. But since u have a doctor prescribing u pills I'm sure he might help with a tapper plan...I wish u all the luck and my prayers r with u.

[cathy5841]

Jamie that's not the kind of advice we give here. We offre advice ob getting off drugs. NOT how to get a clinic to dish out methadone. Completlyconfused methadone n sub are both harder to get off than oxys, the half life is longer which makes the w/ds longer n harder. Keep doin what u r doin 1 dat at a time!

[CompletelyConfused00]

Thank you SO much for your input. It is nice to hear stories from others that go thru the same thing as me. It is hard to listen to others that just say "stop taking them, you'll be fine"
Suboxone doesn't sound any better to get thru this. I have slowly up'ed my dose over the past 3.5years...and I was up to 120mg oxycodone a day. Doctor just put me on 20mg a day just to "take the edge off"....it doesn't do a damn thing!
But I have been doing this for two weeks...so I just assume to keep on doing it rather than start the suboxone and go thru all this again!
I have had such BAD FLARE UPs for the past four days...have not been able to walk, sit, stand, etc....have spent my days crying---in pain...not for the drugs!
My kids are my motivation. I just hate seeing them watch me move--in pain. And have them constantly ask if mammas back is ok. It is just sad.
I have decided MYSELF to come off of these...the doctors just want to keep me on. They are still trying to find out what is wrong in my back...just had two mri's over the past 7 days....but they will never have a fix...they are only going to make my back worse. So this is MY decision. I have realized I will have to live with this pain for the rest of my life! So I am just gonna suck it up! I hope I have the same mind set later on when I can't even move!!!
Thanks to everyone who posted. I am so grateful for all the feedback!!!!
God Bless!

[howmuchlonger]

please do more research on suboxone, the half life is 2 days , so the dextox is a month or more..if your using for a week to get off stronger opiods then that is smart, but long term suboxone is dandy until you wanna get off. i have 20 days off it and still only get 20min cat naps every 3rd night. its doable but the doctors say only 2 week detox or mine said theres none.. these are not facts, suboxone might be good for you, but coming of isnt a week thing its long process, it is doable i have 20 days but educate yourself google PAWS suboxone ..some people say it last a year, i dont believe them but one month to two months seems more like it.

[leeisgettingclean]

i feel that your doctor is prob doing what he thinks is best. I do not think that going from painpills to sub//methadone is a smart move unless you have tried every other option with no success. I know that it is tempting to try to get on something else that is going to take away the pain of w/ds, the thing is-this is a likely thing. W/ds are at some point going to happen--there is never a good time to w/d--just becuase you are a mother does not excuse you from w/ds--lots on here are parents--You need to just go ahead and w/d and get it done. You can do it! Good luck, Lee

[oompah54]

Sorry to hear you are in such pain.  Many people on this forum suffer from chronic pain.  Thats pretty much what got me here in the first place.  Double fusion six months ago and triple fusion three months out.  We build up such a tolerance to the meds that we just keep taking more and more.  Before long its got us hook, line and sinker.  My pain elevated during withdrawl and then kind of leveled off.  Still taking Motrin every day and wear the Icy Hot patches on my back from neck to butt.  But its not near as severe as I thought it was while on the pills.  I don't have any experience but what I've read here about suboxone.  I hope and pray you find what works for you.

Peace and strength . . . Deb      

  

[rusty2112]

I have crohn's disease and it can be very painful also. I have 57 days clean off of oxy's and high doses of fentenyl. I have used suboxone to kick before and they are nearly as hard to kick as the oxy's and you don't even get high from them. Having two kids myself, I was in the same boat as far as not wanting them to see me go through withdraw. I did what I needed to have them stay with other people to go through it. I made it through withdraw this time(last!) without subs or methadone and it was really worth it. I am no longer a slave to that evil ****!!! My kids are so proud of me now. I am a good dad when I am clean. I pray for you. I know the position you are in and I wish it on no one. Please do it for yourself and your kids. You are all worth it.


Rusty

[avisg]

google suboxone doctors in your area most will not take ins .many sub doctors only prescribe sub you have to have a special class to be able to do it so if the doctor you are seeing wont I sure there is a doctor that will however at some point you will have to get off of that and there will be wds as well .

[Bill21128]

I understand the pain you must be feeling but you are looking at this in the wrong way. You are trying to find a ways to get more and to feed your addiction more. What you should be concentrating on is how to get off the pain meds.You need to go to a speacialist for you pain to get it under control and then kick the pills. I do feel for you because of your pain, but the best thing you can do is fight through the withdrawal and think of your kids, becuase if you continue down this road you are only going to hurt your entire family. I am trying to get my wife off of the pain killers now with very little luck. She won't even admit she has a problem and she clearly does. Best of luck to you. If you can't do it for yourself, Do it for your family because they are the ones that are going to need you.

[dominosarah]

How many were you taking a day?