Vicodin addiction

[Molly911]

What do you do when you know that someone is having addiction/withdrawal problems with vicodin?  Sending him information on symptoms, etc. does not motivate him to look for help.  Do I have to wait until he hits rock bottom and figures it out for himself?

[McTigerlily]

Hey there, Molly. I've been struggling with a opioid addiction for 8 years and this is the first time I've not wanted to continue this lifestyle in years. I think it would be good for you to sit down and read about what the opioid/vicodin actually does to your son's brain. It alters it in a way that he will need help with withdrawal symptoms and cravings. It's the fear of withdrawal and the cravings that make us do the stupid things we do (once we get passed actually enjoying the high and are ready to quit).

Please check this out: http://www.murdershewrites.com/2009/02/12/have-you-had-your-endorphins-today/

It might help you see this as more of a chemical issue than a completely moral one. Our society needs to put a new face on addiction and dependence if those who need help will EVER go get it!

Best of wishes and God bless. I'm proud of you for not being in denial...trust me, a lot of husbands, friends, wives, mothers, fathers, etc. just don't want to deal with it.

[Lucy825]

Hi Molly:

In my opinion, for what it's worth, the best thing you can do is be supportive with your son.  There is NO WAY he's going to come clean to you if he's trying to hide it and you accuse him or yell at him or in anyway threaten him.  He'll need to have a support system.  He may really want to reach out to you and tell you about his addiction, but if he feels that you will be mad force him into rehab or if he feels at all threatened he may feel trapped and unable to open up to you.  This was my experience.

I became an opiate addict about 5 years ago.  I came clean to my family once and they helped me through it.  Sadly, the pills were still available to me and after 15 days clean I got stressed and went right back to it.  Then I continued for four years.  The final year was rough because I kept denying it but my family kept accusing me.  They knew, of course, it was obvious, but I tried to lie my way out of it everytime.  I spent most of my days either worrying about how I would get pills or how I would hide that I had them or took them.  That was my life.  Unfortunately I had NO support system.  My family member that was accusing me was furious and told me over and over he wouldn't deal with a drug addict.  He had no sympathy on my and refused to understand my disease.  Towards the end I kept praying that he would just understand.  I prayed that he would just show a bit of compassion.  I wanted to tell him.  I wanted to come clean and get out of the mess that I was in but I needed help and I needed to know I could do it without being punished, accused, yelled and screamed it.  Finally that day came.  I am now on my way to sobriety with my families help.

Have you tried sitting down with your son and having an open discussion?  Something to the effect of letting him know that if he has a problem he can come to you and you will help me.  Don't force the help but let him know that it's there and that you won't be angry or upset and you won't judge him for it but you will help.  It also would help to let him know that you understand it's something he must choose to do on his own and that if he does tell you about it you won't force him to quit or force a treatment on him that isn't what he wants or thinks will work.  In other words, take the fear out of him confessing his addiction to you.  Let him know that he can tell you and that you will work with him on it.  Then you can go from there.  If you decide an intervention or forced rehab is the answer you can try it but in my experience a person forced will just go right back to their DOC when they get a small amount of freedom.  

Be patient, be understanding and learn as much as you can about the disease so that if he does, in fact, have a problem you are prepared to help him.  Even if he's not ready to tell you yet there will come a day when he is.  One way or another as addicts get clean, we all know, we can only hide our addictions for a limited amount of time before it all comes out.  There's a lot of freedom in being able to come clean and tell someone, anyone about your addiction.  Make sure your son knows you are open to it so that he knows he can come to you.  It took my family member way too long - over four years - to finally get to the point where he realized he had to make me feel comfortable enough to open up.  It's a wonder I didn't overdose and kill myself in that time so the sooner the better as far as trying to become a part of the solution and not a part of the problem with your son.

I wish you luck and will pray for you and your son.  Keep learning and be open and ready to support him.

Best wishes

[Danny750]

Hi Molly

Sorry to hear about your son. If money is missing and he's lying to you then it's most likely he's using. I'm 35 and lied and spent money my wife didn't know about to get vicodin. I just stopped yesterday but I had to do it on my own time although I'm an adult. I have a friend who ha an intervention with their 23 year old son and he went to rehab after it. He was a real mess and he started around 17 or 18. My advice is read up but do something. This 23 year old has no job becuz of the oxy he was taken and started selling to support it.  I just came to this site but there are so many good people on here with good advice. Good luck
Dan

[Molly911]

I had a feeling that would be the answer.  Unfortunately, this person is my son.  He is 18 and began taking Vicodin for a back problem.  He's said again and again that he is not a regular user, yet cannot account for the money he is spending . . .I want to believe him; I have trust issues around drugs!

[mtgoat911]

you can read a book called no more letting go, for ideas
if your friend is not ready to get clean, there is nothing you can do
keep yourself safe