Mourning my MH friends. I would like to know opinions/ideas as far as large amounts of caffeine to override the wired/tired part of this journey. Yesterday, I got maybe 4 hours sleep. Laid down at 2am, was back WIDE awake at 5:45. And figured alright! He11 with it, you wanna be up! Let's get Up! (I talk to my myself a lot, I've kinda separated my addict brain apart from myself, as he's the angry 5 year old, throwing a temper tantrum! Lol, I know. Right? Yes, strange... But whatever works!) So anyways, I got up, made a pot of coffee, started running errands, cleaning, oil changes on the cars and God knows what else. The WHOLE DAY sucking down coffee and red bulls. The pain SUCKED! But, my theory was, run all day! MAYBE get some Damn sleep at night. I did rest better, and if not for my evil she-demon baby's momma, I might still be sleeping. BUT she's a......"trip". So, I'm up! Thinking I'm gonna bang down the Ibuprofen, put on another lidoderm patch, and fire up the coffee pot! Is this a bad idea? Am I really just substituting caffeine for my DOC? All thoughts and opinions are appreciated.
One last thing I think I should put out there.... I am Manic/Depressive. But really wasn't manic yesterday, just wired up on coffee. There's a huge difference. Trust me. I believe there is a bit of a misconception about mania. It's NOTHING like the coffee jitters, or even the wild up and down rollercoaster of emotions from recovery. The best way I can explain mania is this: Imagine you're watching TV... And someone is changing the channel as fast as they can.. And every time the channel changes, you still are focused enough to know what show is on, what the story is..etc..etc.. But the channel is STILL Changing as fast as humanly possible! Trust me, it can be devastating. Ok, enough of my ramblings. Thoughts everyone?