Motivation? Where did it go?

[killmypain]

I am 55 days clean today. I still feel like I'm never gonna get that energy that I had with those stupid pills..... The weather is gloomy and cold and that hinders my motivation even further..... I also quit drinking... I kind of felt that I was using it as a crutch and found myself using alcohol more and more so I quit that too. I quit smoking too. Lol I just wanna feel better! I've stopped doing all these bad things to my body (except the occasional bag of potato chips) now, shouldn't I be feeling better by now? Still using the b vitamins.... Winter is coming and I'm terrified how bad I'm gonna feel if I can't get myself out of this slump! Has anyone out there dealt with this so far into recovery? I thought that by now I'd be feeling normal, even good! Is there a vitamin out there that I haven't tried yet?

[ImDONENoMore]

just a quick interruption here - tavia you ROCK girl.  Keep going you're a hell of a lot stronger than you believe.  And soon you'll be as sure of that as I am.

Remember - there is NOTHING stronger than a determined woman.  Nothing.  (and killmypain - a rollercoaster, and spending the day with your kids, sounds like the PERFECT thing to do today!).

[tavia14]

Hi you! You are doing fantastic! So happy for you! I am still here with you! well kinda! I had a slip up but decided that's exactly what it was a couple of steps backwards! I didn't use enough or use long enough to place me make in wds just horrific depression so I am dusting myself off and keeping the clean time I had on my tracker ( even though my head keeps telling me you are only 6 days clean again)!!! Trying to be kind to myself so I dont throw it all away again again and again. BUT this isn't t about me its about you! And you are rocking this!!
And yes the million times that I have relapsed and become clean the 90 day mark was the real turn around!!

[killmypain]

Thanks guys, for your words of encouragement! I'm doing a little better today. The sun is starting to peek through the clouds again. I think I'm gonna attempt to take my kids to the amusement park. That often makes me feel better..... ride some roller coasters.... I've made it 56 days now..... one day at a time..... I'm reading about some ppl on here who are detoxing right now.... I WON'T do that to myself again.... I can't even think about it!

[ImDONENoMore]

Trust the 90 day thing.  It's true - I still felt exactly like you do right now when I was at your point.  And the three months does bring a big turnaround in the feeling better department.  I promise you.

And remind yourself how much courage and strength it took to get to this point.  Never EVER forget that!!!  Congrats on the 55 days!!!  Now go do something nice for yourself.  You've earned it.

[selfinduced]

You are my idol! Stay steady, There are good days mixed in with bad ones even without pills. You my amazing friend are doing just what you need to be doing now. SOOOOO, excited and in envy of you. Please. P;ease don't cave....not worth it. Update me when you can. xoxo

[killmypain]

I don't feel bad all the time.... I've just been going through a lot of crap lately and it seems like the weather being so bad just flipped a switch. I do well in the sunshine and when I get to play outside. I just remember last winter I used percocet to make me feel better and have energy and I want something else to be that same "quick fix". I know I need to start exercising more and eat better. all these things make sense but it would be so much easier to exercise if I felt better.... I'd feel better if I started exercising more..... I'd exercise more if I felt better.... you know..... I do have good days and I have bad days.... I don't know how much of this is my addicted brain and how much of this is... like a seasonal thing... Hasn't been long enough for me to rule out the addiction.... some ppl on here say 2 to 3 months....

[amialostcause]

my mind is REALLLy not well rite now..if we're productive why not feel good??? i think you'd call me "a functioning addict" well thats a contrdiction i guess...not a good day..sorry

[killmypain]

I'm thinking that it may be weather related.... It's been raining here for several days and it's so damn cold.... it was 100 degrees last saturday and hasn't been much over 60 from monday on..... all week, drizzling and cold..... I just keep thinking about those stupid pills.... like I could take just 1 and feel better... not gonna do it, of course.... but I still can't help but think about it... my back aches... I wish there was another easy way to feel good.

[amialostcause]

omg...i was hoping by days 42 or 55 i'd have that energy back..how discouraging..because i know exactly what you mean...it seems to be the ONLY thing to motivate me...even the silly day to day stuff like housework...ugh

[littlebit010101]

Oh wow......I'm 42 days and today has been horrible......oh my the pain level is out the roof....so WHAT?..... I think this may b normal our bodies and brains still adjusting......I HOPE..   .. but I feel reAlly down today.....help I guess...lol...