cravings!!!

[kristellk]

Hi All!!! Have not been on here in awhile, even forgot how many days I have been clean!!1 37 HOLY CATS... never thought I would be able to say that! STILL struggling w/ cravings and emotions of thinking about using, I think the only reason i'm thinking about using is my stress level is HIGH and I know my ex still has a bottle of 30 of hydros JUST SITTING THERE! I seriously want to go to his house and flush them down the toilet!!! I find myself thinking about sneaking over there and taking them.. BUT I HAVE NOT AND WILL NOT... but its killing me knowing they are at my fingertips!!! He has no idea I was addicted to narcos, so I could never call him and say "HEY FLUSH THOSE F**** down the toilet!"... I dont know why, but I have been so hesitant to attend a NA meeting... I live in a smaller city (80,000)... I'm afraid most people there or will be there are just cuz they are going through DRUG COURT and are court ordered to attend X amount of hours of NA meetings.. Also afraid someone will see me... NO ONE knew or knows... I know this would probably help... the emotional part is very hard! Don't get me wrong... I FEEL 100X's better than I ever have! I smile, laugh, feel, etc... NOt really sure about this "feeling" part... hard to deal w/ at times... well I will stop rambling! KUDOS to everyone just starting this dreaded path.. YOU CAN DO IT... STAY STRONG!!!! SMILE ... Kris

[gnarly_1]

HI I agree with the other posters ...I have used both N/A and a substance abuse conslor to concur my methadone addiction....N/A meeting really help they teach you how to handle cravings and deal with the mind screw we go there when we first get clean the satictc
shows less the 10% of the people will make it a yr clean without aftercare dont be nervos about the meetings there normally friendly and yes there will be some court order people there but there will be a lot more people  there that are working on there recovery...as addicts we need to learn how to change the very way we think to survive become pro/active in your recovery good luck  and God bless.....Gnarly  

[dominosarah]

It doesnt matter what the others go to the meetings for as this is about you.  There you will find others who also understand what you are going thru.  We learn the tools we need to live a clean and healthy life.  What have you really got to lose by going?

[j34]

Hi Kris, congrats to you on being aware.what i am hearing is your feeling anxious because you are thinking of your ex having narcotics around, this is a part of the disease cunning......without help it was to much for me, I went to na and I went to save my life.... in the process I have gained a greater understanding of the disease, myself and others, suggestion if you make the decision to go that you keep a open mind everybody else is there doing the same thing,,,saving their lives!!!  hope this helps blesisngs j34