dad overdose

[infidelitybumm]

How do i react to this situation? Im 24 and I live with my grandmas but on the weekends I go home to be with my family. My dad doesn't like when my mom goes to her friends house. He doesn't want he to go anywhere. my mother doesn't like feeling controlled so she goes. My mother has a lot of medication, and Ive had to take her to the er 2 times for major overdoses. As a result my dad keeps her meds in a locked box and keep the key on a string tided around his neck. Every time she comes home she is smashed. Messed up on pills and alcohol, which is scary because she has a bad heart and the combinations and be deadly. So in retaliation my dad take a BUNCH of her pills.He cant even walk falling everywhere slurring and i try to take him to the er but he wont let me so I just keep him awake the rest of the night. He does it to show my mom how it feels to be worried, the way he worries about her when she overdoses. My dad is a former alcoholic he hadn't had a drink in about ten years, he didn't take pills or any drugs. Im close to my dad and i was so mad and betrayed. We argued. He promised me he would never do that again. He betrayed me at least once that i know of and last night he did it again. He took almost half a bottle of pills and got drunk.I was staying the night there so when i saw him like that it broke my heart. This time i didnt say anything. I disappeared into a novel to escape reality and i havnt let myself think about it.Till now. I got the hell out of there and came back to my grandmas. I cant stop thinking about it. Im so mad. Im disappointed and im scared. Do I scream and yell at him and let him know that I care and that Im torn apart? That obviously didnt help last time. Do I give him tough love and stop speaking to him? Then what if he kills himself? and i wasnt there to stop it, to argue with him and make him think twice. or to drive hime to the er. Do i cut my wrist like i did last time and send him pics of it to let him know that this is going to happen every time he does it? My dad, idk. i know hes not happy, but i dont think he is depressed and suicidal. He does it purely to punish my mom. Its getting worse and worse every time. What should I do to help?

[jifmoc]

So glad to read that you will stay away from them...for now. It's just for now. One day at a time. You can't help them right now. I repeat, you can't help them right now. They're on their own journeys.

I cannot even tell you how much Alanon helped me when I was in a relationship w/ an alcoholic a few years back. It totally changed my perspective. I would have been insane w/o it. So glad you are going to go.

[jifmoc]

Hi, and welcome. Your dad didn't take a bunch of pills to "get back" at your mother. He did it because he's an addict, too. When an addict or alcoholic doesn't get help, this is what happens. I'm so sorry your parents are deep in their addictions. Nothing you say will change anything. Maybe, just maybe, something you do will and that is to stay away from both of them and take care of yourself. Like Dominosarah wrote, please go to Alanon meetings, they are made for your exact problem. You can't change anyone but yourself. Alanon will help you feel sane and learn new tools to deal w/ this. I'm glad you have your Grandmother. Your parents are toxic. Stay away from them and get some support.

[infidelitybumm]

Hi jifmoc,
Your right.
When he quit drinking10 yrs ago, he did it without going to meeting or any counseling. So that makes sense. Its like he's a child who has no self-control and is completely selfish.
He was a great father, and my mom was a great mother, they raised me the best they could.
The pills didn't come into the picture till my mom got hurt at work. Then her brother passed away, she blamed herself, that's when the overdoses started, Its been 4 years and I don't think she has stopped blaming herself, she still cries. My dad has never left her side and they are best friends. I can see the love, but its gotten dangerous like Romeo and Juliet.
I love them so much and grew up so close to my mom. I know I'm to old for this but I miss/worry about her every night, I can feel when she is sad even though we are miles away. I need her. How can I just leave her?

I am going to make an effort to stay away from them and get myself together.
I really appreciate you taking time out of your life to give me some good advice.
Thank you

[dominosarah]

Hi and welcome to the forum.  Please talk with your grandma about this.  You are too young to be handling all of this on your own.  Do you have someone close you can talk with?  Please dont harm yourself.  Your parents need help but they will only get it when they are ready.  There are alanon meetings everywhere and the people that go to those meetings have been where you are at.  You would find some really nice and helpful people there and you wouldnt feel so alone.  They will have some really good advice on how to deal with your parents.  You dont deserve to be living like this.  Hopefully your parents will get the help they need but in the meantime please check into alanon.  Keep talking with us~

[infidelitybumm]

Thank you dominosarah
I will not harm myself.
My grandma is my dads mom and last time this happened she said she didn't want to hear anymore about it.
I keep to myself so I don't have any friends, or a boyfriend so I thought this forum would be a good place to vent and thank you for taking time out of your life to give me advice. There is an Alanon club not to far from here and I've been to it before so I will be considering attending some meetings. I spoke with my dad on the phone and told him how his behavior affected me, of course he promised he wouldn't do it again. I going to therapy because I have problems myself, I really appreciate your support

[dominosarah]

I am so glad you responded back to us.  We are always around so keep talking with us.  We understand the pain you are feeling and hopefully we can make you feel better about yourself.  Let us know how the meetings are going.  How is the therapist appts going?