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Avatar universal

day 2

Its not really a question . . . just needed some where to talk, type, let people read, and get some good juju to help me thru this insanity of withdrawals that I brought on myself over 3.5 years ago.  Degenerative disk, lower back and neck.  My mom was going to a pain management Dr and suggested I go.  well hell yea  . . . give me 240 Norco's a month for $10.  OF COURSE I need them . . . . . .. . . .. had fusion back in May.  I was already to get off the pills once recovery was over.  BUT, my body rejected the cadaver bone, so I had the entire surgery all over again, but this time he took a piece of bone from my hip.  My Norco's WHEW HEW!!!!!!!  omg.  I' so sick of it.  the dry skin, constipation, my brain is becoming mush, I have a hard time thinking straight sometimes.  I have 2 exams I need to take for work, I took it 3 times in the last 4 months and failed each time. I am on day 2 with no Norco's  BUT, I had a few tramadol's(1 today and a handful of soma's (1 last night with some muscle relaxers so I could sleep). . . I mean, FFS, I got my refill last Wednesday, 40 of them.  GONE by Saturday morning.  I am not responsible enough to have them in my possession.  I cant do it.  they CALL my name.  I am a 42 year old mother, wife, professional.  (My husband turns a blind eye, I've tried doing this once and he said "I'm not doing this again" . . . sorta feel alone on an island, WILSOOOONNNN!!!!!!   )   When I've run out, I've gone to the streets to get them. Spending stupid money.  This has got to end.   I did email my Dr. and told him I was ready.  So, guess that's the first step, right?  Cuz now they won't prescribe to me anymore, . . . .  right?    I don't fee all that bad.  I would like to rip my arms out of their sockets - and would love to sneeze and not worry about the nearest toilet.  My skin / hands look horrible cuz i'm always picking at them.
I got this
I can do this
I'm DONE with this
thank you for reading.
Feed back is always welcome
14 Responses
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7163794 tn?1457366813
COMMUNITY LEADER
LOL....I loved your post.  Of course you can do this....is it going to suck, YES! But it's totally doable.
I am a mother of 4, local small business owner, wife, and addict!  You are so not alone in this!  If you truly want off of these medicines, you need to make a plan.  Can you take a few days off in order to do this? If I understood correctly, you failed some medical tests for work; drug related tests?  Norco's will be hard but if you get the items needed to do this, you can.
1. Stay away from the Somas and Tramadols as they will only make this process worse and take longer than it needs to.  
2. I loved your comment about sneezing close to the bathroom b/c it made me remember, I had to run carpool one of the mornings when I started w/d which sucked, but I had no choice. I had my daughters tennis shoes on when I left. I came home, walked in (after getting stuck in my car for like 30 minutes) and actually "went" on myself. Like I had NO control it just came out like water. Sorry so gross, but I totally understand what your saying. I had to buy my daughter new tennis shoes!  :)
3. Gatorade, multivitamins, protein shakes, emergen-C, potassium (banana's), dark green leafy veges, eat REALLY well, you will notice a difference.  L-Tyrosine (GNC), magnesium.
4. Time and Patience....I'm sure you don't want to hear that, but with time, it does get better.
Drink, drink, drink!!!!!  Don't dehydrate! that will make it worse!  You won't want to eat or drink but you have to force yourself because of how much you will be going to the bathroom!  
When you feel like ****...come on here and post. Most of us are on here daily to keep watch and see how people are doing. There are alot of people on this site that know what they're talking about.....listen to them!
Good luck to you and the start of your journey....fyi..I also found that music in my ears when I had to get out of my head helped tremendously. Especially anthem type music to keep me going....push yourself. Us addicts are alot stronger than we think we are!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
After the first 2-3 days start taking imodium. There's no reason to keep going like that. It will dehydrate you fast plus it's hard to rest going to the bathroom every hour. Heating pad or electric blanket is a must for the chills and back pain. Also helps with the restless leg. Just keep posting. This is a awesome site for support. Good luck
Helpful - 0
7163794 tn?1457366813
COMMUNITY LEADER
Good point Leaveurfearsbehind....I totally forgot about the Immodium.  I didn't take it though for the first couple of weeks, but I wanted that stuff out of me, I didn't want to stop it, I just wanted it out. But yes, I was finally able to get some relief once I wasn't running to the bathroom every freakin 5 minutes!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I wanted it outta me to but not the runs for two weeks! If your on a short acting opiate like norco 2-3 days is plenty of time to flush your system. The imodium also helps with the stomach cramps and pain. Believe me you will still go every day if you take it as prescribed.I just don't see the point of crapping acid for two weeks. That can't be good for you? Plus it can dehydrate you in a hurry. I'm just sharing what worked for me. We are all different so just do what feels right to you.  People will also tell you not to worry about sleep but you need sleep to heal. Your body heals itself while you sleep. You can go a few days without it but going several days is never good on your body. I would suggest taking something if you haven't slept after 2-3 nights. I know some will disagree but not sleeping causes a lot of the fatigue and lack of energy we experience during detox. This can lead to relapse in a hurry. The whole idea is to get clean and sometimes we may have to bend the rules a little. I'm not talking about more opiates but something to help with sleep. There are several ones you can take that are non addicting. Hope this helps a litte. Again this is just mho.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi and welcome.  Yes, you CAN do this.  It's gonna be bad for a while...pretend you have a bad stomach flu.  Get lots of rest and go easy on yourself.

My stomach couldn't handle anything but water the first 3 days, and after that, only hot chicken broth.  I tried protein shakes, but it upset my tummy.  

No matter how badly you feel, you won't die from opiate w/d's..but if you're really feeling awful, don't be afraid to call your doctor.  I was getting blinding headaches starting on day 3 and my doc prescribed Clonidine because he said my blood pressure was getting high (causing the headaches.)  

I feel like:  the doctor started this mess, he can just deal with my constant phone calls.  It's his JOB.  

Hot baths helped me so much...heating pad for stomach cramps, and lots of water (Gatorade if you are having a lot of diarrhea.)

Go easy on yourself...its not fun, but it is PAIN WITH A PURPOSE.  It won't go on forever, and every day will be better than the one before.

Some folks turn a corner on day 5, 7, 10...personally I started feeling a big jump on day 16.  

You're doing a wonderful thing for your body, your mind, your spirit.  Post often....we're here for ya!!

Hugs,
Robin
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi, you are so not alone. I am a 40 year old professional mom of 5 year old twin boys and I have two older stepdaughters. While I was on opiates over the years for surgical procedures related to infertility and severe endometriosis (hence my twins), my addiction started because my husband is disabled and I have a pharmacy of opiates at my disposal right in my home. He, too, turned a blind eye for quite some time since I was highly functional and thriving at work and home. It was only when I tried to stop taking the pills that I realized I had a problem because I got so sick. Talk about reality check. I have also taken some exams for work and found myself failing due to my preoccupation with opiates. In any case, it has been an up and down battle but I have tapered down with my husband' s help and Friday I am jumping.  I look about as forward to that as sharing a holiday dinner with his ex-wife while getting a root canal but know it needs to be done. This site is a lifeline...use it. We are here for you, reach out if you need anything.   Day 3 is almost here, keep it up!

JJ
Helpful - 0
7163794 tn?1457366813
COMMUNITY LEADER
ROFLMAO!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
P_low- I love your sense of humor (WILSOOOON!) so funny! That will help you in this mess:) It's all been covered but I just wanted to say your story is the dang same as most of ours (sorry, no uniqueness hear) and keep posting for support!!
Helpful - 0
1926359 tn?1331588139
Awesome post-
Can't really add to the stellar advice above except BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF.  Don't beat yourself up, it is a sure fire way to lead you to relapse.  Self abuse= self abuse.  Think about getting into a recovery program so you can go somewhere and be understood.  Us addicts need to be together.  Share our human experience.  This aids in healing.
Welcome to our family, and be proud of yourself for taking this step.  It ain't easy, but it's worth it and SO ARE YOU!!
xo
Lu
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Not much to add that the others haven't already told you. I will add thought that it's so important to start taking Vitamins. For me personally... I take 2 Multi Women's Vit daily and I take Sublingular Vit B12 2500 mcg every morning. I Swear by the B12, it's an energy metabolism booster. They are cherry flavored and dissolve under your tongue. Ibprofen works good for the pain. Hang in there, the first few days will be rough but you WILL make it!! Post often! We are all here to help you!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
not sure how I missed all of your awesome posts and advice and SUPPORT.  
day 6 (last time I took any was Sat. 11.15.
Feelin pretty good but havin' a **** day . . .Dr. called,"script is ready to help you tapper down"  yea, haven't been honest.  but, who IS in this situation. FFS, I'm just NOW getting honest w/ myself.  
why did they call?
f**&!~
:/
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You don't have to go pick it up but if you do the withdrawals will be waiting on you. read this poem before you make a decision...

I destroy homes, tear families apart,take your children & thats just the start.Im more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold,the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold &if u need me,remember Im easily found.I live all around you in schools & in town.I live with the richI live with the poor I live down the street &maybe next door.My power is awesome;try me youll see, but if you do,you may never break free. Just try me once& I might let you go,but try me twice& Ill own your soul.When I possess you, youll steal &youll lie.You do what you have to just to get high.The crimes youll commit for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure youll feel in your arms.Youll lie to your mother youll steal from your dad When you see their tears you should feel sad.But youll forget your morals & how you were raised, Ill be your conscience,Ill teach you my ways.Ill take everything from you, your looks and your pride,Ill be with you always, right by your side. Ill take till you have nothing more to give&when Im finished youll be lucky to live.If you try me be warned this is no game.If given the chance, Ill drive you insane.Ill ravish your body, control your mind, own you completely your soul will be mine.The nightmares Ill give you while lying in bed, the voices youll hear from inside your head, the sweats, the shakes, the visions youll see; I want you to know, these are gifts from me, But then its too late &youll know in your heart that you are mine and we shall not part.Youll regret that you tried me,they always do,but you came to me,not I to you.You knew this would happen.Many times you were told,but you challenged my power &chose to be bold.You could have said no&just walked away, If you could live that day over,what would you say?I'll be your master; you will be my slave,Ill even go with you to your grave.Now that you have met me,what will you do?Will you try me or not?Its all up to you.I can bring you more misery than words can tell.Come take my hand,let me lead you to hell
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven't missed you yet

Every roommate kept awake
By every sigh and scream we make
All the feelings that I get
But I still don't miss you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you

Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven't missed you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you

Only when I stop to think
About you, I know
Only when you stop to think
About me, do you know

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
You hate everything about me
Why do you love me

I hate
You hate
I hate
You love me

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you


Read more: Three Days Grace - (I Hate) Everything About You Lyrics | MetroLyrics
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
pushed pause  . . . but Im back up now.  back to day 3.   I really REALLY feel good. I like this feeling.  a lot.  Ithink I'll keep it up . . . its awesome NOT being stoned out all the time.  who'd a thunk it?!   the things you learn :)
Helpful - 0
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