day 6 - When will I find happiness again??

[chico1969]

It's day 6 for me off of a 2 1/2 yr addiction to oxy's - going ct and having a real tough time with the insomnia and heavy depression.  I can't seem to find any interest in anything at all and feel sooooo hopeless and like nothing will ever be the same again.

Will this feeling go away soon - is this common and if so did it go away for those on its own or did you need meds as antidepressants?  I really hope not because I tried them a few years back when I was stayin sober off booze and they didn't agree with me - however I was NEVER as down and low as now.  I am getting panic attacks too when I feel the sense of hopelessness because I start to think about it and panic I guess thinking that it will never end.  

Please, any help and comments appreciated...

[FassFeat]

That is great that you went and walked and got the 5HTP. I just wanted to say, I found that I do get a little better every day. You are at a pivotal time, you can do this, your doing great. Keep posting, Best of luck and God Bless.

You got some great input

[chico1969]

I just came back from a walk with my boyfriend and I do feel a bit better - we went out to get the 5-HTP!!  So I'm going to take some right now and pray that it starts to work soon.  actually, I've been going out of the house for short walks every day since day 2 (even though that was horrible) and I do notice a difference when I'm out.  The problem is that I run out of evergy so fast and my legs feel like they're about to give out underneath me.  So we have to turn around and go back home.  Today however was t
he longest walk yet - over an hour I think.  Getting there day by day.  :)

thanks everyone for the ideas - I'll give them a shot!!

[vicki595]

Chico~~  I know,this is the worst time,I think....(well,they're all bad really)

The number one thing is exercise!  You hate it,you don't feel like it,but you have to move!
There are books on this very subject you can read...So,try to do something. I swim and that's better to me than walking 5 miles. I would just never do that!!

Try something...even a walk outdoors with some music...it makes a HUGE difference.
5 HTP is a great amino acid...I wouldn't try L-tyrosine for a little while;that can make you feel more anxious.  Also,when you're sleeping better,you'll feel better!

You're doing great...keep talking!

[janet19]

It is normal to feel how you are feeling. I think we all have a period or periods in our lives where we feel hopelessness. But look where are your 6 days clean. It is only a natural reaction to feel this way. For me I get the feeling hopelessness when I try to see my future. I do not know what I am going to do everyday if I don't use. How will I stay busy and occupy my mind. That is why it is good to found an aftercare program. Somewhere to find peace and learn new coping skills. I am excited about some of the ideas I get at my NA meetings. I enjoy the fellowship before and after the meetings. I like the way they try to find safe places and events, camp outs, cookouts, and much more for those recovering addicts to go for entertainment, a sense of normalcy. Events and outings for them to take their families and enjoy their lives again. Their are so many things in our new non-addictive lives to experience. So for me I feel there is no more hopelessness. Becoming free of addiction brings me peace.

I was on anti-drepressants before I started suboxone. I did not choose to go off of them because they did not work. I had to not take the certain anti-depressant pill I was on because of a reaction it could have with the suboxone. My husband does not like anti-depressants either. They did help me and if I have to go back on a different kind I will. I do not feel the need right now I need them. Don't every give up and maybe they just didn't find the right one for you before.

Give your addicted free body a chance to adjust and I am thinking you will do fine without them. I still think it is wonderful to have 6 days clean. At least you are thinking about things that matter to you for your health. Hang in there let the fears go away and the ones you have have face them head on like laurel says. She is right, bite'm in the butt. Good luck Chico.

[chronicmistake]

Depression is a normal part of recovery.  It is also dealing with our real feelings because we are so used to numbing them with pills.  give it time and make sure you exercise and eat healthy.  I am on day 8 and am a little down or confused feelings.

[NoMore81410]

Congrats on day 6! Yes this is all normal- you are dealing with the mind part of things. I remember crying at a commercial. The 5HTP helps and around day 14 things started to change for me. Hang in there this all takes time. I am 34 days clean today and I am all back to normal with my energy and my mind is back in balance. Hang in there you are on your way to a new life!

[laurel453]

and don't let your fears grow inside you, this is very important... they are the main door of anxiety so face those fears each time and rationalise them, don't run away from them....we addicts know very well how to run away but don't do it now.... or they would be kept inside you, take the  healthier choice of facing them " this feeling of hopelessness comes from the moment of my life i am going through, it is not for ever... this too shall pass on and i can deal with this because i am doing the right thing for my life and i can pt up with this , it is just a fear and fears are not facts " ( hummm something like this ? you choose what to say to yourself, of course :)  and keep breathing deep and slowly when you feel like any panic, feed yourself of hope and positive thoughts, it is very important cause the mental battle is tough, but doable, be sure , please :)

i also took 5htp and valerian root for the anxiety during  the first months and after wds.

[loveJwhite]

Yes! Try 5HTP. It helps with the depression. Try drinking Vita Coco-its pure coconut water, I prefer the pineapple flavored one...it rehydrates even better than water and gatorade-its also packed with potassium...your feeling down, it is very normal. I know it's rough and it may take a while to pull through. Hang on! You're doing great!

[Frivolousz21]

if you don't want to get on Anti depressants.

take a look at 5-HTP

it is an amino Acid that is the precursor to serotonin in your brain...

in test studies it helped improve mood and diet.