dealing withdrawls

[robs1lilangel]

Hi everyone. I am a loved one of someone who binge smokes crack. He was a year clean until yesterday and never picked me up from work, texting me he was on his way, and then never showed, ignored my calls to finally shutting the phone off and now took the day off of work when he finally came home from this at 3am. We have been working so hard to rebuild out lives from the last time and now I feel like here we go again. I moved away from my family and no no one where I live and I feel lost and alone. my schedule does not allow time for support meetings and worse yet he had my car when he did this. He was extremely angry this morning at me and I didn't know why. What can I expect with these with drawls to come? how do I handle them. He is already attending meetings that he pays for and obviously not working. please help me.  I am lost, scared, confused, and saddened by this but I am very in love with him. I need advise from all points of view.

[ywf27]

I understand your grief as I'am very in love with my husband as well. But take it from the girls who posted above me. They are not wrong. Try the things they said, love him the best you can. If its worth it to you to endure this hardship because you know him as a wonderful sober person than do what you can but don't neglect yourself. The worst position to be in is someone looking in. A loved one who wants to care, who wants to help and is completely powerless. Although this affects you greatly This isn't about you and unfortunately you cannot control it. I wish you peace instead of turmoil, and understanding in yourself. Best of luck!!

[ariley13]

Hi there and welcome. I am so sorry that you are in this situation. I can tell you as someone who was married to an addict, and finally got out of a bad situation, there is nothing you can do to make him stop. He is not using because of you, and he will not quit until he wants to quit. The only thing you can do right now is take care of yourself and don't enable his drug use in any way. If he is using your vehicle to go out and get drugs, then don't let him use it. Don't give him money. I know this sounds harsh, but it is necessary. Alanon meetings would be a great place for you to learn more about this disease and get some much needed support for yourself. There is also a forum on here called 'living with and addict' that would be a great place to get support. We are here for you. Please keep posting and stick around. Take care of yourself girl. Sending wishes for much clarity and peace your way.

[robs1lilangel]

he is on parole so the state makes him pay for it. yes he has relapsed before and stated he was done. like I said it has been over a year clean then one day BANG! he decided to do this. I am not sure how to deal with this. I am fed up but see him mostly sober of it. he doesn't use frequently but when he does, it is excessive. nothing even happened in our lives to make him use. same routine up go to work come home eat and then bed. I don't know how to help him and i have invested 3 yrs in this relationship. i wish i knew how to help him, i would do it in a heart beat. tough love does not work..

[kellygirll]

what meetings is he attending that he pays for NA/AA meetings are free how long have you been with him crack is an awful drug there are not any physical withdrawals per say but the moodiness and angry outbursts are no fun i suggest if you can and you haven't been with him for a long time and don't have much invested in this relationship  leave, do you know for sure he wants to quit does he relapse frequently  and you need some support for sure they have alanon meetings in the morning day and night so maybe you can google where there is one that you can attend it will be so helpful to you to deal with all this especially if you plan on trying to make it work best of luck to you its a terrible fight my ex husband left me and our son for crack he just couldn't give it up he passed this past thanksgiving and all his years of using contributed to his death addiction is a very very sad disease my heart is with you girl