death,prison,

Question

This is the 1st time I have ever been to this site or any site for that matter. I am asking some questions here only because when I talk to my wife about this it ends in a fight. 
     Our youngest son is a oxy addict for the past 5 years needles is there any hope for him? Because my hopes are basically gone. the only thing I have for him is prayer and that is on Gods time not mine. His choices have really worked on hurting our family. I could keep writing but I am sure you guys have all heard it b4 what can I do?

toxictome · Answer

Welcome to the forum...You have a great place to get help and support. I agree with everyone above...the best thing you can do let him know you love him but youwill not enable him anymore!!!
Does his wife do drugs?
Would his wife and your wife be willing to get on here and read??? Sometimes it helps for people to learn more about addiction so they canknow how to deal w/ it better .

marcatj · Answer

i don't think there is alot you can do, except not enable him.  which it sounds exactly like what you are doing...

with the wife supporting this addiction, there's no way for you to come between.

if it were me, i would let him know you love him unconditionally, but you hate his disease.  and you will do anything to help him get clean, but in the meantime you (and your other kids) are setting your bounderies and i think it's all you can do.

the only other thing i think is an intervention, but having bailed out of 3 rehabs i don't even know if that will work...

i'm not saying to give up hope, but i do think until he makes the choice, there isn't much you can do.  except to continue to get help for yourself on how to handle the situation.

(the only other thing i'd like to add is, in my opinion, miracles happen every day... you never know what the next moment can hold... i pray for a miracle for you.)

i am so, so sorry...

with luv,
mj

newmanagment · Answer

ive said those same things. biggots, hypocrites, etc. .. everyone else was the weird ones, not ME!! i have hurt my family soo bad, i didnt think i could ever see em again. but i realized they were dying to see me, sober!!! worried is right, he has to get to bottom hisself. i sent ya a message, i am here for you all the way, and your son to. my prayers are with him, and if possible get him on here to read some stories.

sonsajunkie · Answer

Thanx. Worried, the problem with this kids addiction is that it has really hurt our whole family He hates hs brother and sister because they dont want him around there kids cause of his addiction and he says they are the ones with the problem

worried878 · Answer

Everyone has a different bottom I have learned....his may be jail/  I hope not any worse than that  When I first started talking with other users...I thought perhaps I had not reached my bottom as nothing awful had happened to me...not jail..no rehab...no job loss...I had however lost myself....everyone has a different bottom...he is young and does not think into the future like we do...prayers are with you but like oxy said...there is hope...he is very lucky to have you

sonsajunkie · Answer

my son is comming over to get his bike to pawn for oxy..its his bike..my wife gets mad at mefor saying this but I have seen him do it b4 with guns generator you name it...the wife is mad cause I speak the truth...and know me and her will fight over this all from his addiction its crazy

sonsajunkie · Answer

I am glad I found this site  thanyou all and I will check back tonight good by

oxyaddict420 · Answer

Good.. By no means should you ever bail his @ss out ever again.. He needs to experience it all 100% ALONE! All I meant was never stop loving ands always be ready that some day it might be feasable that he gets his act togather.. Even then it is up to him to regain your trust and prove his sobirety. OFF TO BED

queenb918 · Answer

call intervention its the best show ever plus theyll get you help too remember addiction is a family disease youve all got it just your son's on opiates and youre addicted to him

sonsajunkie · Answer

This kid is the only one in our family who would not even touch a drink he did not smoke 
pot he went straight to the needle basically he might of ate some pills but he is a needle user. His doctor who  wrote the scripts is in prison I love my son and all our family members have saved his *** a lot of times. But no more

oxyaddict420 · Answer

I hopwe for his sake that death isn't the bottom for him.. But in real life death can be a very real option for drug abusers.. I myself have worried about death many times due to overdosing on pain killers.. This site has helped me alot, and then getting professional help is going to change my life to manage my addiction and get my life back..  I wish the best for your son and you.. Just remember how short life is, and that death is very close compared to eternity. So just try to love him through all this. It must be hard when he has ceaused so much pain, but he is still your son and under all that addiction is a good person I am sure right?  Before the drugs was he a good person with good things about him?

sonsajunkie · Answer

I must step away for a miunute.  Be right back

sonsajunkie · Answer

I think that death is his bottom, I even went to 90 days of meetings with him the people at the meetings even gave me a chip, his wife tells me that he was useing while I was taking him to meetings

oxyaddict420 · Answer

Typical junkie actions.. This is the drug taking over his brain and logical decsion making! You understand this rite?  Not an excuse for him, but he has a disease called "ADDICTION"  Some will argue, but you cannot deny factual evidence of the matter.  I believe the main thing is at least as he is alive and breathing he has hope at change!  I believe that it IS NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE- NO MATTER HOW LONG OR BAD IT HAS GOTTEN!

Again, God bless you and best of luck

sonsajunkie · Answer

He is 25 he has walked out of 3 rehabs, he robs and pawns things he has nothing he owned a house on a golf course at 18 lost that his wife stays with him and even picks up his needles and gives him back to him hes rob from every family member

oxyaddict420 · Answer

As long as he has a breath in his body and he is alive there IS ALWAYS A CHANCE!  THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!  

As little as it may seem there is.. It might take many many deep adrk rock bottoms for him to finally want/fight/need to get clean!  Whatever you do DONT GIVE UP ON HIM!  You are his father and he only has one.  I also agree that you CANNOT put your life on hold, but just make sure that he knows that you love him and will be there for him in any way you can that is a positive way.. Like gicing him cash when you know he is going to go shoot it intio his viens isnt being there for him.. Just always have the lover and open arms for when.if he decides to quit and get his life back.. I can only imagine the pain you and your family is going through.. I am going to add him and you to our preyers and for sure WISH YOU ALL THE BEST!! Please keep us posted on the status of his recovery..

allaboutmary · Answer

Please give us more info on him.  How old ? Does he live with you ?  Where does he get the money for these drugs ?  Please keep posting . There are many parents here in the same boat as you that you can talk to.

flmagi · Answer

Never give up hope, but don't put your life on hold for him either. There is nothing you can do for him until he wants to stop. You can tell him that you will be there for him when he is ready to quit, but until then you will not enable him either.
This is a horrible thing, sorry you're haveing to deal with it.

allaboutmary · Answer

So sorry your going through this.  There is hope though.  Does your son have any desire to quit ?  That is really the key to him getting clean. Have you thought of inpatient rehab there are many ways to get clean, but he really must want it.  Keep posting and reading.