drugs and drugs and drugs

[janet19]

I really am so darn confused from all the feed back and now I have myself in tears. I have tried to stay clean over and over. I have to be in moderate withdraw to get help, how friggin insane is that. Who ever said I can do it is wrong and he or she should know an addict is an addict. I guess I am just screwed and will suffer with this addiction until the day I die. I am so desperate, if I could get my hands on some pills today I would take the whole bottle. I don't even know if I go tomorrow to doc. its 200 bucks for first visit and if I don't get help I have wasted my money.

[vicki595]

Janet~ Hang on until tomorrow. See the doctor. Start the Sub. You will feel a lot better mentally and physically. That's how it works. Don't take anything today. Just hang on.

Once on the Sub you'll relax and be better able to focus on your recovery from addiction. That's,also,how it works.

Good luck and keep posting!
Vicki

[dominosarah]

I know you are feeling so lost and hopeless.  I too felt the same way when i came here.  Keep fighting this.  You DO have the strength and you need to find that and you will.  Lets just get you thru today ok?  We are here to support you.......sara

[abritt121222]

i promise you are not going to waste your money it will be well worth it for you and CONGRATS on making it this far and taking the leap of getting help that is a big step and in my opinion probably the biggest one on the road to recovery

ABRITT

[janet19]

Hey everyone I try to have strength, but so hard. I try to look at everyones post with and open mind honestly. I have been so emotional with my addiction the past week. I am scared to death if I do not get help what I am going to do. I alone got myself into this mess and I am trying to dig myself out.  I get ideas at NA and it was my therapist who recommended the suboxone. I have so much pain in my body and the cravings are tattooed in my brain. I have been here before. I stayed clean for a while back around 97 or so, then I had a car accident and it blew it. I still have pain from that accident. Anyway it started a cycle back and worse than before. I am ready to start crack or something if I don't get help. I have never been so desperate as I am right now......I hope the trip to suboxone pain clinic turns out ok I don't want to waste money.

[abritt121222]

YOU CAN DO THIS JANET and no you will not have this problem until the day you die unless you want to have it and by your posts i can tell that is not what you want at all you can beat this i know you can because i did it and i felt the same way you did and i know on the other post ppl said they dont think you need the suboxone because you are only addicted to hydrocodone well that it ONLY what they think if you feel like it is something that can really help you than go with your gut feeling and i would stick with your plan if i was you and go see your doc tomorrow because he will help you i promise you it will be well worth 200 bucks i mean heck i had to pay 1500 cash up front to get into the doc i went to that helped me get better and put me on my suboxone treatment that worked for me so i urge you to go see your doc tomorrow because it will help you say you dont want to waste your money but think about all of the money you have wasted on pills what is 200 bucks to get help it is a VERY VERY VERY SMALL PRICE TO PAY even the 1500 i pay was a very small price because i knew that that 1500 for the doc would go a lot farther than giving 1500 to a dope man and in a in a month or so i would just be right back where i started crying and being down in the dumps thinking about what else i could have done with that money that i just threw away so PLEASE go see your doc and get help because you can beat this addiction it wont be easy and it wont happen overnight because we didnt become addicted overnight so we cant expect to get better overnight or in a week or even 2 weeks it will take a while for your brain and yourself to get used to living a life without pills and trust me it is ALOT BETTER LIFE not waking up every morning worrying about where you are gonna get pills and planing your life around having pills or not you CAN DO THIS and i will be right here to help you thru it as much as i possibly can

GOOD LUCK AND GODSPEED
ABRITT

[dominosarah]

I just did the same thing!!

[laurel453]

ooops, sorry, janet... i have just read your other post on your other thread talking that you have been going to the na meetings. Ok, nobody here is telling you not to use the sub treatment.

but i just don't understand what kind of help we can give you ?

you want to use to be on moderate wds, i understand this . It is indeed your decision.

[dominosarah]

As onthefence said slow down and take some deep breaths.  You dont have to be a prisoner to these pills.  There are things that you can do to stop this.  You are worth fighting for.......What is going on tomorrow?         sara

[onthefence]

slow down and take a deep breath! it is possible to stop taking drugs, people do it everyday!
you might need help with this, there are good ppl on here that will help you.
keep talking, i would help if i could but i still take drugs. but i sence from your post that you are in a bad way, and i have seen ppl in your posistion get help and make it on here before with the help of ppl on here.

hang in there!

[laurel453]

I know and is an addict, janet... we are all addicts here. i know very well ...what i meant is that you are betting everything on tomorrow and i just said that you can stop tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, don't worry, but also i mentioned aftercare because this is the best tool you could find to help you staying clean... Because of course, you can do it while you are on the sub. In fact, from what i have read here, this is the best way to use the sub treatment while addressing at the same time our addictive behaviour....

now, what is the help you need now that you say you would be wasting your money tomorrow ?