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Recovery without aftercare
Hello everyone. Today is day 17 for me and it was kindof a rough day. Did not want to use but was a bit more down than the passed several days. I expect this and know that I will have many down days and even more days when I crave and want to use again. I came home from work and read some of the posts and alot was being said about NA and addiction specialists Don't get me wrong, I think that this is the best advise and best chance for recovery. Myself and many people I've talked with are really in the closet with our addictions..noone knows. The company I work for owns my medical insurance. I really feel that I will be able to make it with the knowledge that Ive gained through previous relapses and info on addiction and this forum. I might be wrong but I got to try. Addicts in rehab , NA and seeing addiction specialists relapse many times also. I just felt kinda discouraged reading that a person cannot recover without more aftercare than this forum...Has anyone else been successful with just the forum?
I'm with you Corey and hoping like heck that we can make it w/o aftercare.
This is a SMALL town and no one knows that I'm an addict.
Even the neighboring towns would be too close for comfort.
No one in my family even knows.
This is a SMALL town and no one knows that I'm an addict.
Even the neighboring towns would be too close for comfort.
No one in my family even knows.
i attended N/A for a few weeks and i think it is wonderful, unfortunately, i relapsed and was ashamed to return. soon after i found this forum and it has worked for me more than any meeting or couselling could, but that is only me. i finally realized to stay clean aftercare is so important and this site is here 24 hours a day, filled with people i can related to, so to answer your question, yes i do think you can be successful with just this forum, but i do suggest going to N/A meetings, they will help a lot. the worst thing you can do if you want to get and stay clean, is to stay in the closet about it, it's important to be open and HONEST. i used to be ashamed, and in a way i still am, but i don't hide it no more. good luck to you
I have to agree with you Cory. I am 20 days clean now, and believe by reading posts everynight is my aftercare.
Being open with my wife about my issue and certain family, friends and even a co-worker has also helped. Trying to hide everything was the worst ever. Know I have the support and knowledge.
And congrats to you and keep up the good work...
Army
Being open with my wife about my issue and certain family, friends and even a co-worker has also helped. Trying to hide everything was the worst ever. Know I have the support and knowledge.
And congrats to you and keep up the good work...
Army
I'm actually having a rough day myself. My ex-fiance contacted me about an hour ago by a text message. Hadn't heard anything from her since October when she left. I haven't even responded to the message - just can't deal with it at all. It's taken me this long to get even a little better from that ordeal. Just so confusing and so many emotions. When the craving got real bad I got in the car and just started driving - blaring the music and singing (more like yelling for me lol) along with the music.
So I'm sitting here now alone, just reading the forums when I came upon your post. It gives me inspiration to just deal with everything like you are doing. All I can say to answer your question is this forum has been a Godsend. I can't let anyone know either - so aftercare is pretty much out for me too. But we've both made a decision to stop hiding behind a drug, both gotten through the hardest part, and I think we'll both be fine as long as we keep our resolve up.
So I'm sitting here now alone, just reading the forums when I came upon your post. It gives me inspiration to just deal with everything like you are doing. All I can say to answer your question is this forum has been a Godsend. I can't let anyone know either - so aftercare is pretty much out for me too. But we've both made a decision to stop hiding behind a drug, both gotten through the hardest part, and I think we'll both be fine as long as we keep our resolve up.
I felt the same way and was very surprised that i did not know anyone in the NA group...later i began AA and have run into people I have known but it wasnt a big deal for some reason...but i feel the forum is very important for my aftercare...more so than my AA group
Why can you not let anyone know?I hid my addiction from family and friends for several years. Just in February I started going to an addiction phychologist and was put on Suboxone. I finally decided to tell my family about this. They knew that I had been in pain for years. I can't even begin to tell you how supportive they have been since I opened up. They understand that I didn't just wake up one day and think "what to do today, think I will try to get addicted to pain pills". They understand how it happened. My own mother even offered to give me money to help out with my sub doctor appointments. They are all just so proud of me for admitting it and getting help. It seems as though alot of people keep hiding it not realizing that their family would be as understanding and supportive as mine is.
honestly staying clean without any aftercare is very very hard , The % of people that remain clean without it very very low .You really need something
NA ,therapy , and addiction specialist ,a pastor something ,if you don't get any thing its called white knuckling it .
NA ,therapy , and addiction specialist ,a pastor something ,if you don't get any thing its called white knuckling it .
Thanks guys, I know that I can do with the support I get here. The difference for me is that for the first time in over 6 years I can say I'm addicted to another human being through this forum and know people will understand and not judge me. It really makes a big difference.
The reason that I won't tell my family is mostly because I have had many crisis in my life and have always had my family to support me. I guess I have bad Karma and everytime something goes wrong in my life I know they suffer as well. I have gotten through many tough times and am pretty much looked at as the strong one in my family despite all my life situations. My family and some friends would support me. Even understand how I could get into this mess. I won't dissapoint them and have them worry about me. I also need my kids and grandkids to know that I am strong and they can always count on me to be there for them. If I can get out of this without involving them I will do whatever it takes. If I ever feel that they would benefit from knowing I will tell them.
The reason that I won't tell my family is mostly because I have had many crisis in my life and have always had my family to support me. I guess I have bad Karma and everytime something goes wrong in my life I know they suffer as well. I have gotten through many tough times and am pretty much looked at as the strong one in my family despite all my life situations. My family and some friends would support me. Even understand how I could get into this mess. I won't dissapoint them and have them worry about me. I also need my kids and grandkids to know that I am strong and they can always count on me to be there for them. If I can get out of this without involving them I will do whatever it takes. If I ever feel that they would benefit from knowing I will tell them.
Personally, my family had a suspicion as most do. Alot of us think they don't know but they do. It was actually a relief to them when i told them. It turned out to actually be a benefit to them because they were so happy that I was getting help and are so very relieved. I did not want to involve them for fear of upsetting them but as it turned out, it was the best thing I could have done by telling them I was getting help. It took alot of worry and stress off of them. I couldn't be happier that I told them because I see how happy they are now. And having that support from them has made my recovery efforts all the more sucessful. Just my experience.
Consider this example:
Two new people attend a support meeting. (It's not the type of meeting, or support group, that is important.) The first person thinks to himself: "I don't want to be here. These people are unattractive. The thought of having to associate with them forever disgusts me." He is now depending upon the validity of his own internal thought process. He drives away, and continues to try to stay clean on his own, and to continue to depend on the validity of his own thought process. Then he has sorrowful trouble in his relationships, which break his heart. He fails to succeed as he thinks he ought to, which breaks his heart. Something bad happens, or something good happens, (it doesn't matter), and he thinks to himself: "I can't deal with sobriety right now!" (This is the person depending upon the validity of his own thought process.) His addictive impulse is triggered. In a matter of time the strong cravings (neurological impulses) overwhelm him and he begins to use again.
Now, consider the second person who attends the support meeting. He also thinks to himself: "I don't want to be here. These people are unattractive. The thought of having to associate with them forever disgusts me." But, this person says OUT LOUD to the group: "I don't want to be here! You people seem unattractive! The thought of having to associate with you disgusts me!" And the whole group, with one voice says to him in reply: "That's how you are supposed to feel! That's OK! You should feel that way! You're new! This is new! We are unattractive! The thought of associating with us should disgust you! It's OK to feel that way. But, from now on you must become willing to take directions! You must become willing to listen to us! You can NOT be in control of your own addiction anymore! You must let go absolutely, and no longer depend upon your own devices, or you will never recover from your addiction!" THIS PERSON ACCEPTS WHAT THEY SAY! He is willing to shift his internal dependency away from relying on himself for recovery. This begins to re-wire his neurology. His nervous system learns new responses to old stimuli. Then: he too has trouble in his relationships, which break his heart. He fails to succeed as he thinks he ought to, and this breaks his heart. He also thinks to himself: "I can't deal with sobriety right now." BUT HE IS UNDER ORDERS! His habits kick in! He calls for support! The support system says with one voice: feeling bad IS ok ... but using is NOT OK! You can't do that. You will not do that! You would be better to drive up right now to the local mental institution and check yourself in .... because what you are thinking about doing right now is sheer insanity! Because he has now shifted his dependency, and he no longer relies upon the validity of his own thought process, he obeys! He takes directions! The re-wiring of the dependency shift has taken hold: and he stays clean! He has established new neurological pathways and is able to stand fast through the critical moments. He has has effected the necessary dependency shift! His formerly disordered neurological system has become re-wired. When he is triggered, he automatically goes to the support system, even if it IS the local mental hospital, but he stays clean. Through a total dependency shift, he is soon permanently relieved of the obsession to use the chemicals. He recovers!
Any unwillingness to completely accept the directives of a support program ( be it any therapist, psych, group, etc.) is just a continuation of the addictive disorder. All the best
Two new people attend a support meeting. (It's not the type of meeting, or support group, that is important.) The first person thinks to himself: "I don't want to be here. These people are unattractive. The thought of having to associate with them forever disgusts me." He is now depending upon the validity of his own internal thought process. He drives away, and continues to try to stay clean on his own, and to continue to depend on the validity of his own thought process. Then he has sorrowful trouble in his relationships, which break his heart. He fails to succeed as he thinks he ought to, which breaks his heart. Something bad happens, or something good happens, (it doesn't matter), and he thinks to himself: "I can't deal with sobriety right now!" (This is the person depending upon the validity of his own thought process.) His addictive impulse is triggered. In a matter of time the strong cravings (neurological impulses) overwhelm him and he begins to use again.
Now, consider the second person who attends the support meeting. He also thinks to himself: "I don't want to be here. These people are unattractive. The thought of having to associate with them forever disgusts me." But, this person says OUT LOUD to the group: "I don't want to be here! You people seem unattractive! The thought of having to associate with you disgusts me!" And the whole group, with one voice says to him in reply: "That's how you are supposed to feel! That's OK! You should feel that way! You're new! This is new! We are unattractive! The thought of associating with us should disgust you! It's OK to feel that way. But, from now on you must become willing to take directions! You must become willing to listen to us! You can NOT be in control of your own addiction anymore! You must let go absolutely, and no longer depend upon your own devices, or you will never recover from your addiction!" THIS PERSON ACCEPTS WHAT THEY SAY! He is willing to shift his internal dependency away from relying on himself for recovery. This begins to re-wire his neurology. His nervous system learns new responses to old stimuli. Then: he too has trouble in his relationships, which break his heart. He fails to succeed as he thinks he ought to, and this breaks his heart. He also thinks to himself: "I can't deal with sobriety right now." BUT HE IS UNDER ORDERS! His habits kick in! He calls for support! The support system says with one voice: feeling bad IS ok ... but using is NOT OK! You can't do that. You will not do that! You would be better to drive up right now to the local mental institution and check yourself in .... because what you are thinking about doing right now is sheer insanity! Because he has now shifted his dependency, and he no longer relies upon the validity of his own thought process, he obeys! He takes directions! The re-wiring of the dependency shift has taken hold: and he stays clean! He has established new neurological pathways and is able to stand fast through the critical moments. He has has effected the necessary dependency shift! His formerly disordered neurological system has become re-wired. When he is triggered, he automatically goes to the support system, even if it IS the local mental hospital, but he stays clean. Through a total dependency shift, he is soon permanently relieved of the obsession to use the chemicals. He recovers!
Any unwillingness to completely accept the directives of a support program ( be it any therapist, psych, group, etc.) is just a continuation of the addictive disorder. All the best
I'm sorry but I find your posts a little boring and estremely cocky. You don't have to have aftercare to be drug free. I've been drug free for 4 months and have had no after care.
Wow....I really don't know how to respond to that. May I ask why I come off that way?
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You....This was the person posting all day and is what prompted my post. I signed on for support bc I was feeling the need and just saw post after post by this person. Instead of support I felt discouraged. I've been to many NA meeting with my son and first off would like to say none of the people were unattractive. None of them acted like this either.
I'm a therapist and fully understand neurological pathways. They can become effected by long term drug abuse but NA or a psychiatrist can't rebuild them...Time will and it does take a long time..however it's not like a stroke where your brain compensates and needs to build new ones. Time will heal them and this forum is aftercare as well as educating yourself on addiction. I'm gonna go out on a limb spacecaddette and guess that your not an addict but a psych major who likes to hear your self talk. All the best to you as well.
I'm a therapist and fully understand neurological pathways. They can become effected by long term drug abuse but NA or a psychiatrist can't rebuild them...Time will and it does take a long time..however it's not like a stroke where your brain compensates and needs to build new ones. Time will heal them and this forum is aftercare as well as educating yourself on addiction. I'm gonna go out on a limb spacecaddette and guess that your not an addict but a psych major who likes to hear your self talk. All the best to you as well.
I absolutely in no way intended to do anything other than help people on here. I now sincerely regret that I even bothered in trying to do so with you. And I am an addict. And your offense does not offend me. Why did you feel discouraged? Becuase I am telling it like it is? And as my example, I have spoken to MANY people on here who were discouraged by meetings becuase the type of people that they saw there. All based on experience. And I'm not a psych major. And if i wanted to sit here and simply nod my head and agree with everyone, I wouldn't be speaking my mind, experience, or opinions. To me knowledge is power and I have learned A LOT from everyone on here, (with the exception of you of course) and continue to believe that a successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at them. So I thank you in your support on my foundation....and just know that it is quite often that great ideas suffer violent opposition from that of mediocre minds....I will no longer post as to not disturb anyone. All the best.
Bravo! Bravo! and Bravo!
Very well worded. I must have missed this post somehow. I hope you come back hun.
Very well worded. I must have missed this post somehow. I hope you come back hun.
I am not against aftercare or therapists but in my honest and own opinion..I have had more help here with alot of things..not just addiction then i ever did giving a person $ to listen to me talk . i think it's because there are so many wonderful and caring people here that KNOW where we are comming from..this forum is my after care..And Congrats to you on day 17..!!!
Also, no where in space's post does it say that this forum is not a form of aftercare. If you read up top,
"(It's not the type of meeting, or support group, that is important.)"
And also, there are thousands of places who offer care free of charge with the help of the government. Space has never been to aftercare, and considers this as her form of it. Speaking on behalf of her since she no longer here to defend herself.
"(It's not the type of meeting, or support group, that is important.)"
And also, there are thousands of places who offer care free of charge with the help of the government. Space has never been to aftercare, and considers this as her form of it. Speaking on behalf of her since she no longer here to defend herself.
I just wanted u to know that i liked the way u gave two different opinions...I didn't find it boring or cocky...ONLY my opinon...
Everyone is different...If they can do this without aftercare then GREAT...If they can't and get after care then GREAT!!!
For me i have failed with no aftercare....I will continue to do what works for me, as everyone else has to do what works for them..
It doesn't mean one is right or one is wrong...As long as you are clean in the end!!
Please stay with us, not everyone will always agree, and that is ok...
r2r
Everyone is different...If they can do this without aftercare then GREAT...If they can't and get after care then GREAT!!!
For me i have failed with no aftercare....I will continue to do what works for me, as everyone else has to do what works for them..
It doesn't mean one is right or one is wrong...As long as you are clean in the end!!
Please stay with us, not everyone will always agree, and that is ok...
r2r
Interesting post. I had to comment. I do believe aftercare is important. If this forum helps you then great it is a form of aftercare. However I don't think most of us can get to the core issues of why we use from this forum. I in the past have quit successfully using cocaine,marijuana and a few other habits without any aftercare. My addiction to pain pills however has been different. It has been much harder and i thought i could do it without help. So to each his own but the statistics show that without a form of aftercare the chance for relapse is much higher. Nobody is saying if you don't seek aftercare you will relapse but the chances are higher. Please we are here to help each other.
I personally am using this forum as my aftercare, most of the meetings I have attended in my area in the past, were filled with a bunch of addicts(still using and no desire to quit) only there because its court or job ordered.-Not saying all of them is like this- just my experience. And I agree with r2r about, what works for one doesn't work for all.Congrats on day 17!!!!!!! : )
GREAT POST!! I agree 100% and I couldn't have said it any better!!
IT 'WORKS' IF YOU 'WORK IT" !!
IT 'WORKS' IF YOU 'WORK IT" !!
Thanks. My main point was to underline that recovery without after care (statistically has shown) that 90% of people who do not receive it, fail to FULLY recover. There are a lot of key words which i believe may have been overlooked in my posts. FULLY meaning they never use again.....Anyhow, I appreciate everyone's support and appreciation. I honestly have never been so close to leaving the forum. Although I have received much help from most of you, I felt pretty bad knowing that my posts are "discouraging people" and still can't help but wonder if maybe it's better for them that i stop. Either way I wish nothing but the best, even to you corey411, the first step towards knoweledge is to know that we are ignorant. I guess it'll always be ......... if we don't read the newspaper we are 'uninformed', if we do read the newspaper we are 'misinformed.'......oh well.
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