failed miserably

[Nez37]

well i posted the other day to say that in the morning i was going to go cold turkey. Things started off well, i got up and didn't take the 150mg morphine s/r tablets or the 300mg tramadol s/r tablets i useally take. I was suffering withdrawal symptoms but i was coping until about 3.30/4pm when i felt a bit rough and had to go and lay down. That was it, i was there until the next morning when i was woken by my wife to say that i had to get up as i was due to go to London for my 1 month follow up appointment, following a 4 week input programme for pain management. I was in no state to travel the 2 hour journey to London as i found it a real struggle just getting downstairs and even then i couldn't stand for the pain in my back and sides. It was 10.30am and i had to take my pills just to get my head straight. I feel like a loser and if i don't get off this stuff soon im scared im going to lose everything i have, wife, kids everything. I went to my doctors today and my usual doctor is off on maternity leave so i had to chose another one. I explained what i had tried and explained that in the month since leaving the pain management programme i had managed to reduce my meds by stopping 80ml oramorph a day, 8 x dihydrocodeine a day, 4 x baclofen a day and 2 x arthrotec a day. She said i should give myself more credit and that obviously just stopping is not an option and that i need to reduce slowly by 10mg per week. This would mean that by that schedule it will take at least 15 weeks just to come off the morphine even though she said that as i get down to like 60mg i may need to give it 2 weeks before dropping down, and then there's the tramadol to quit. i'm scared that i will lose everything and i just can't let that happen. My problems started 6 years ago with an accident at work and my wife has had enough and wants some sort of quality of life back and to start living again. I totally understand and want the same but don't know what to do. If anyone has any suggestions to help then please reply.

[sudie58]

you should really give yourself a lot of credit, you were on a strong amount of stuff , its not a race, you are going in the right direction and are doing well, dont try to rush it, as its no help to you.a taper is the right way to go, at least until you get low enough to jump off, i really wish you well, take care.

[tgtiffany]

Hi!  I think that your should follow your doctor's advice.  I think it's good that they are helping you taper down, even though it's not as fast as you would like it to be.  Perhaps you could taper a littler bit faster if you feel like you can handle it.  It's really a personal decision there I think when the time comes.  Although the doctors are really on your side and that's super good!  I know what your wife is going through, my husband was an addict and I hated it.  It su cks.  It's really hard to deal with it all and still keep everything being normal in the family.  I know that you understand that otherwise you wouldn't care so much.  I think you should sit down with her and talk to her about everything.  Does she know about the tapering schedule and stuff?  What does she think about it?  If it would help her do you think she'd get on her?  There are lots of support groups here, as well as this forum.  You can get through this.  You CAN do this!!!    It will be hard and might take a while but you CAN do it :) Especially since you are so sincere about wanting this.  And I think that once things are in motion it will be easier for your wife to support you with it too.  Don't feel like a loser.  That won't help at all, it will only make it worse on you.  So you screwed up.  Get back up and do it again.  Try the tapering method and see how that works.  Like I said you may find that you can taper faster without any symptoms, but that all depends on you personally.  But always remember to keep your head up..you CAN do this and you WILL do this!!!  Make goals, write them down on note cards.  And always....smile :)

[gnarly_1]

HI welcome to the forum ......thats quit a cocktail they gto you on and cudos for getting off as much as you have already........it takes time and perseverance to tapper off something like morphine ...it took me 8 1/2 mo to get off methadone this is a race one by the tortus not the hare.....just follow your doctors orders believe me when I tell yuo it will be a grind doing it the right way stick around the forum post often for support we all want to see you break free from this and will give you as much encouragement as we can your going to need it.....explain to your wife your doing something about it and have a medically sound plan to do it im shure she will stick by your side and help you threw hang in there good luck and God bless.......Gnarly  

[haley726]

it sounds like your doctor has a plan to get you off the meds safely. If your wife has stuck it out for 6 years with your pain problems I'm sure she will be there for you through the next part. Be honest with her and it will be tuff, but if you both want your lives back as a family you will need to work together. As long as you stick to your tapering plan I think she will understand you are trying to get back to where you used to be.