f'ed up bigtime

[ricart70]

Hi I just got back from rehab.I really went over the edge after several things happened(not really big enough to use over)  just wanted to say hi to everybody again. will try to even harder to stay clean and excuse my frazzled brain.I am weirded out by just being home. Hi again everyone and I hope you all are doing well!

[dominosarah]

You said you know what to do as you have been there before.......Now put your energy into making sure you dont go back there~~

You can do this!

[littlebit667]

Love, I am so glad you went to rehab and got help!  We need you here and missed you so much.  I kept looking for you, but  was afraid to ask!  I am a big chicken.  You are an amazing person and one that has always helped me.  Let me know what I can do to help you!

[kyle505]

I'm glad you're back. Your posts have always been a must read for us all. On to another day.

[ricart70]

ty catmagnet-that's a catchy sounding u/n
Yeah I know what I have to do,as I have been here before.

[catmagnet]

No reason to be upset with youself. Just pick yourself up and dust off and move on. We've all been there. And congrats on your New Sobriety! Welcome back! =)

[ricart70]

Thanks so much for the support and encouragement.I went to a meeting at the treatment center this evening just so I could see all of the wonderful people I met while I was there.I feel better this evening but we know that could all change in an instant.I obviously have done this before so I know I have more than a couple of days of melancholy or worse yet to look forward to.I live by myself so I really need to go at least to socialize.
   Anyway thank you old and new friends here.
     @kyle505 you don't want to know what I had to throw away and glad to see you are still doing well.Thanks

[ImDONENoMore]

So true.  It is time that makes the difference here.  And unfortunately that means we're left to wait for those better days.

But ricart, there are some things you can do now to help yourself along.  Meetings right?  Therapy maybe?  Re-connecting with friends/family?  I'm not saying go full force ahead on everything, but small baby steps will help.  And then eventually you have a moment where the cloud lifts a little, and you realize you're getting better.  And then you feel hope again.  And that return of hope will propel you into the next day.  And the one after that.  Yo see where I'm going here right?

Like gnarly said, it's OK not to feel great yet.  So let yourself be in whatever mood you're feeling, only try to do something that you love, that's just for you - it will help.

[waterLilly7]

I know you don't want to hear give it more time, but give it more time, you will get there,

hugs,
Lily

[selfinduced]

day by day my friend. Glad you jumped right back on track. Lean on us.....support is on the way....

[gnarly_1]

HI  congarts on getting out of rehab and 11 days clean its ok not to feel well early on it takes a wile to get back in the swing of things just remember your one day closer to getting well keep pushing forward good luck and God bless.........Gnarly

[kyle505]

When you got home, what did you throw away? Day 11 is wonderful, but you will still have bumpy times. Just be sure to get to after care, and cut sources.
Glad you're back.

[ricart70]

ty    I don't feel good...

[waterLilly7]

ok well how do you feel?
:)

hugs, Lily

[ricart70]

Sorry I had to delete 10,000 emails and phone messages.   No I am 11 days clean today and I am home and I went straight home and threw everything away.I am sorry to mislead.    ty everyone

[Bkitty]

(((hugs)))) You know how I feel about you!( <3) We will circle the wagons for you Ricart~We are all here for you~Bkitty

[waterLilly7]

mayeb you are just going through the mental stuff right now?
If that is the case, hang in there, it gets so much better. I am on day 33 and loving life when just a couple of weeks ago it was terrible.

please post more and let us know what is going on with you,
hugs,
Lily

[kyle505]

What Sarah said...What's up? How can we help? I'm sitting at my computer, fingers hovering over the keyboard, waiting for your reply...

[dominosarah]

Did you go back to using when you got out?  I'm confused.

[ricart70]

ty   and yes I drove to rehab and checked myself in before everything went to hell.  just do not feel good about alot of things right now.ty though

[ImDONENoMore]

I don't understand - why do you think you f'd up?  You got into rehab and that is a good thing right?  And you're clean now yes?  So if that's the case, I think you're doing pretty well!  Be proud of that!  :)