feel as if losing

[gunn73]

first time in 5 months i m crying .... fell as if i m losing patience. it s 4:30 in the morning.... i m finding it so hard to stay clean. it s been 4 days i haven t had a good sleep last 2 nights haven t slept at all. snakes r back crawling through my arms and legs. it s frustrating ..... i ve fought so hard to make it to this point and i feel the day i returned back to the city i was doomed. i fell so bad cos all i can think of all day is what if i just did it once what difference would it make. but then i look at my daughter and i try not to think of it but the crave s got me so bad that i cannot stop thinking about it.

[minn66]

Gunn, you are very welcome. I believe in you and with a Prayer Army beside you, there's nothing you can't achieve. Hugs and prayers and blessings to you,

Minn :)

[gunn73]

thanx for including me in ur prayer group. i really appreciate the effort Minn. respeat and love always gunnu

[dominosarah]

You keep putting one foot in front of the other gunn.  Your life depends on you staying clean.  Look around at all you have to be grateful for.

[onthefence]

Hang in there Gunn, I know you can do this, prayers are with you freind!

[minn66]

Oh gunn, I am so glad you are feeling better :) Guard that sobriety and know that you are strong. You have already shown that. You're doing great and I am so proud of you!

[Teri9498]

  Hey Gunn....so happy to hear that you are feeling better!...just take it one day at a time....dig deep and stay strong...you CAN do this!...sending you a big hug and lots of support!...your friend, Teri  :)

[gunn73]

feeling quite well today except just low on energy.and my back feels as if tied to a freight train.
i know i m goin to win.
Wish me luck and pray for me for i can come out stronger than ever.
THANX ALOT AGAIN GUYS

[steve1220]

hey hey.....feels good to get some sleep i know after 18 days mine still isn't right but i am getting some now even if it's a little here and a little there your doing great hang in there bro your going to whoop this i'm proud of ya

          steve

[gunn73]

sara  mind plays it s games all the time......... u know a part of my brain is trying to convince me to use and a better half is still strong enough and keeping the addict in me down in the hole and aint letting it come out. SO I M WINNING THE BATTLE
SO FAR SO GOOD and i ll keep it like that.
THANK U .... SARA. for checking on me and ur support
god bless u
take care
gunnu

[dominosarah]

How are you feeling mentally?

[gunn73]

another 3hrs of sleep but it s in day that i sleep rather at night.
but atleast i m sleeping and it s a relief.

[dominosarah]

You may never be like you were before gunn, you will be better~~sara

[gunn73]

and thank u all for the support

[gunn73]

so i got some sleep after 50 hrs. .... wish i had a wand and could fast forward time and get to a point where everything s normal for me but i guess i ve screwed up my body and mind so much that it ll never be the same again the way it was before i got on heroin.

[gnarly_1]

Gunn you got to pull from deep inside yourself to get threw this try to distract yourself listen to some music watch a movie go out for a walk anything but dwell on the craving you have come to fare to go back now you got this thing beat it would be helpful if you hit up an N/A meeting you can share your feelings there keep talking with us and remember you just dont have to use for today to do this good lucck and God bless.........Gnarly

[Sarah11212]

How are things going Gunnu?
Been thinking about you today.
Hugs.

[minn66]

Gunn, just wanted you to know I am thinking of you.

[atthebeach]

gunn, please continue to be patient.
you are doing awesome. you are still healing, give it some more time.
we are here to continue to encourage you and support you.
many hugs and prayers
debbie

[LostNoMore]

;Hey Gunnu - As Sarah posted, there is no future in using for us...only an agonizing slide into the darkness. In recovery, there is hope and a real chance for a happy life...we just have to hang on through the rough patches in the early stages. I know people say here that things get better, and some of us are asking WHEN? I know I'm struggling right now. I only know one thing today;
I don't want to go back to hell. I might be having a hard time right now, but it's still better than those last few months of using. I dreaded every single day.
I hated myself and I hated my life. I don't want to be there again. So I'm going to do whatever I have to do to stay clean one more day. If I don't use today, I have a chance. If I use, I lose that chance. If you're like me, then give yourself a chance and stay clean.

[lulu747]

Gunnu,

Adding my support here.  You are doing this!  Believe in yourself,  I believe in you.
Lu

[amaria]

Dropping by to say Hi, I hope everything is turning around for you. Hang n there! Lots of love from lots of people! You got this! Xoxo

[NorthEast213]

Gunnu keep reading brother.  Stay away from the city.  It's easy to tell that it's your biggest trigger.  Get yourself to your trip clean...  I have feeling it's exactly what you and your family need.

Hang on man.

Sean

[steve1220]

gunn looks like another night has came and gone !!!! the sleeping part and the creepy crawlers at nite are messed up as they were for me i had them off and on for a couple weeks just keep taking it day by day soon the;ll be over with if feel for ya bro keep hangin in there your doin it and doin great
                                      steve

[gunn73]

just trying keeping myself occupied in the day and at night i kept reading the posts.......kept me motivated. watched few movies.... i hope tonight i get some sleep and the creepy crawlies don t return.