Hi everyone....day 12

[watermom]

Hey....I didn't post yesterday (but I read a few)...I was busy all day ..school for daughter....shopping etc.  

Physically, I feel good.  I emailed my doc about my congested head and plugged ears etc.  He thinks it probably is a sinus infection...so he called in antibiotics and flonase....I don"t like take antibiotics...but I started them so now I have to finish them.  The whole antibiotic resistance thing freaks me out.....it is a big threat...but that is a different topic :-)

I took a 5mg sub-linguel melatonin last night and it knocked me out. I am still groggy. I slept from 11-8:30...I could have slept longer but I was afraid I wouldn't go to sleep tonight...worry wort here.  My mom spent the night (hubby out of town) so I could get some sleep...she got up with the kids.  

Emotionally....up and down....yesterday was kinda tough.  I had that weird "lonely" feeling...know that feeling"  The one we didn't have when on drugs.....But today the grogginess from the melatonin is taking over.  

Oh I forgot to mention...when I picked up my prescriptions...the pharmicist wanted to do consult with me....she said okay we have amoxicillin, flonase and vicodin....My heart sank....I was thinking OMG "No"....I didn't say that because I know my doc wouldn't just give it me ......She was just reading off the screen of a past prescription.......I had already paid for the pills so I didn't know forsure what was in the bag....there was no vicodin..but I would have tossed them anyway.......

Does anyone feel like a huge hermit? I don't want to talk to anyone.......I was thinking how strange pain pills are. The first time you take them they knock you out...the next time they make you feel "high" then you become talkative...irritable etc.  Strange drug.....are they uppers/downers or both?  

I am hoping my memory starts to come back. I can't remember anything.  I started taking Ginko today.  I really hope this memory thing isn't permanent.

Oh next Sat...is my daughters birthday party....(actual bday yesterday) but hubby had to work this weekend so next weekend...anyhoo....that is a big trigger for me...social gatherings.  I will be fine...I mean I don't want any pills....but I have to learn to be okay in social situations...I am, by nature, a very reserved person publically.  Party+family=trigger.....especially mixing families.....I get so nervous for some reason.  But I wouldn't trade where I am now for being on pills that is forsure....

Thanks for listening and I will try to post more today......my daughter has been VERYclingy.......

[mimi1313]

Hi,

You sound like you are doing well. Day 12 is so great!! I had a lot of those lonely feelings too. Very disconnected. I understand the hermit thing. I'm on day 30 and I just started going out. I was surprised the first time I went to a party with friends. I thought I wouldn't be as fun and that the party would be hard to get through but I ended up having a really good time. I think you'll do great on Saturday. You'll be so busy, time will go fast.

I told you not to worry about your liver!

You're doing so well, I'm so happy for you!!

Melissa

[Flutterby111]

First of all, I'm so jealous that you live somewhere where flowers are growing....I'm SO cold...still...and I need wool socks in my own home.  SO lucky you.  ANd thanks for asking sweetie, I'm doing good-not fantastic-but good.  I'm only taking the recommended 2 tablets for a total of 400 mg right away in the a.m.  just started yesterday but I've been suffering the whole anxiety thing since I've quit the little white devils, and haven't noticed a difference since I started taking the SamE, so we'll see.  It comes and goes.  Be good to you.  It sounds like you are...picking flowers, with your daughter----how therapeutic!!!  I'm so glad your liver is healthy!!!  

[watermom]

Thanks so much everyone.  I just went for a walk with my daughter....a long one actually....but we have to stop every 2 ft to pick flowers/weed/bushes...so not sure how much actual "exercise" I am getting but the bonding is wonderful.

Oh I forgot to mention that I got my liver test  back and it is fine..infact my levels have gone down since Oct when I h....I was relieved.

As far as the party....just need to get the energy...usually I have 50-60 pp..I know crazy...but this year....well we can't afford that and I just can't do that right now.  It will be a spongebob party (she LOVES him)....

Flutterby....for some reason I think of you often.  You crack me up and your such a sweetheart.......how ya doin? Oh ya I wanted to say something about the SamE.  Watch the amount you take.  I got mine at GNC and it says take 1600mg a day for mood.  Well, I did that ...the one day that I had HORRIBLE anxiety and couldn't sleep. I did more research and it says do not take a lot of it ...like over 400mg because it will cause anxiety and insomnia....GREAT! Just what we need.  So start out like 200mg maybe...no more than 400..hopefully it will not affect you like that.  I am still going back and forth about taking that or 5-HTP...5HTP works on serotonin where as SamE works on serotonin and your dopamine receptors.....too much dopamine uptake can make you speedy/nervous/anxious.....and we DON'T want that....ick.

[cathy5841]

congrats on 12 days that is awesome.  staying busy is the best you don't have time to think about pills.  happy birthday to your daughter...hope your party goes great.
cathy

[VicUser]

Yes, I know that weird "lonely" feeling. It still comes and goes. I have always been the type to feel alone in a crowd though. It sounds like you daughter needs some brownies or homemade cookies… LOL

[Flutterby111]

Great job honey, you're super...duper...I too have thought about how odd the drug is, how it starts, knocking you out, then whatever-the whole upper/downer ????  I hope your head starts to feel better soon.  I started taking this SamE I've heard about.  My husband's friend had an extra box and offered it to me when he saw me in tears for no reason the other day.  Good lick with the party, you'll be fine I hope. Triggers suck.  Yesterday my grandma (in-law) got out of the hospital and she told me she took to percs and I felt like someone punched me in the stomach.  And today a co-worker who has given me percs in the past came in and asked how I've been because he knows I suffer pain.  I told him I'm trying a new drug free approach.  It felt good to say.  Take good care watermom!  

[toxictome]

Congrats on day 12!!! sounds like you've been busy!! I think that helps to be focused on something else. Sounds for the most part like you are doing well....and as far as the social gatherings.an dthe family mixing...i hear you!!.it just takes practice, practice, practice!!!  LOL
I 'm with you on the memory also....i hope it comes back..i think it can take 3-6 months..maybe a year......be patient...it will return in time....we spent a long time getting into this mess..we can't clear it( our bodies) up overnight!!!
Keep working it!!!

[jafro]

Day 12 without anything? You're my hero! Congrats - and good luck with the party.