help for my son

[jsmom718]

Hi All, I have been reading many of the posts here. I stumbled across this forum while searching for something else but so happy that I did. My son (21) has recently admitted to me (although I knew for a couple years) that he is addicted to Oxycontin. I just don't know how many ml a day he is taking. His life recently spiraled out of control and he is left to almost nothing now. I thank God for that because now he wants to change. Basically the only way to go from here is up.
Anyhow, he wants to get off the drugs. He has planned that he is going to stay at my house during his WD because he cannot hang out with his friends during that time. His plan is to use Methadone for a few days. He states he needs someone to regulate the dosage so that he is not tempted to take more than the recommended dosage. I am nervous about it because I don't know what to expect. Is he going to get violent with me? Are the chances of him getting addicted to Methadone too great? Many posts have helped ease some of my anxiety about this but anything you can offer would be great. I have also noted some alternatives in this forum to Methadone. What do you think? Thanks for your help

[jsmom718]

Hi,
I agree. Sometimes you don't know if you are merely being told what you want to hear. That is tough but I try to see through things now that it is all on the table. You know what they say, if you want to know if a drug addict is lying, see if his mouth is moving :) funny but still sad. I want to believe him but like you said, I have to see it first

[jsmom718]

Free,
thank you. That is completely what I have done at this point, Let Go, Let God. I am at so much more peace doing that. I know for sure my son will come around one day, it may not be this week as promised but it will happen. God has promised :) So I wait and try my best to do it with patience lol

[jsmom718]

Hi Gnarly,
I think I have done just that. He knows that my door is open when he wants to do it the right way and I have definitely shown him that I love him unconditionally. This thing with the gf's family is a set back because he put his full trust in me and now he says he can't trust me. They feel that I threw the gf under the bus and don't see that I was trying to help. It is sad but nothing I can do but wait really. Hopefully he will come to his senses.

[vicki595]

Hi~  I didn't mean to imply that I thought the two kids should rent a cottage and detox together...   I just thought it was great he was THINKING that way...thinking and focusing (somewhat ) on both of them getting clean.  I do agree with you...they have to be separate and get treatment individually;being together would not be theraputic.

I'll tell you what I wouldn't do :  I would not be fanning this flame with my daughter. I
would threaten and follow through. Period. She's making this worse. I'm sorry about that.

I sure hope this works itself out soon...

[jsmom718]

Sara,
thanks. He does state that he wants to get clean but he is adamant about doing it his way. He wants the Methadone and will not listen to anything else now. I told him I won't do it, so he says he is gonna do it alone then. I wonder if he is bluffing to try to make me feel bad but I do worry about that, He lives in a drug house. There is no possible way of getting clean with about 6 other drug addicts living with you and also if he is in pain, they will just get him the Oxy. not to mention that if anything goes wrong with Methadone, the other drug addicts are not mentally capable of doing the right thing and knowing what to do. I really hate being in this position

[jsmom718]

Vicki,
thank you but I don't agree that it is a good thing that he wants to help his girlfriend necessarily. The thing is that both of them are dependent and codependent. Neither are in any shape to help anyone. What needs to happen is that the two of them separate, get clean, mentally get over this drug and then get back together and see if two "whole" people can be together without being codependents of each other. I was hoping the gf's family could help accomplish this but as it turns out what her mom is doing is closing the window of opportunity. The gf will not trust her mom to ask for help when she only belittles and berates her and even exaggerates her addiction. So my son cannot now focus on his sobriety when she has to be the main focus.
Therefore, what mom did was not help her daughter first off basically keeping her in the situation she is in without an out and it hurt my sons chance of getting well too because he is worried about leaving her alone now.