husband in rehab

[mindezz]

anyone have a family member in drug rehab?  my DH has been gone 6 days into his 30 days of treatment.  i am left alone with a three year old.. i want him to get help for drugs and depression, but now i am left alone with my son and i am now severly depressed, lonely, hurt, feeling guilty, and so on, and so on.  his problem has torn me apart. i am a nervous wreck.   i dont know what to do, or who to talk to.  i am begging for some kind of help.. someone to talk to, somewhere to go.

[LateAugust]

I am so sorry for all of the emotions  and fear you are experiencing now,  it truly will get better with time,  and I think as you begin to hear in your  husband's voice a stronger and healthier spouse and father, that will also give you stregnth.  

There is Al-Anon  in addition to Narc-Anon,  obviously one for alcohal and one for drug addiction.  Altho my daughter is an oxy addict, I attend Al-Anon (and you will find they are not truly segregated)   because it took me about 4 meetings  at different locations to find the group that I felt most comfortable with and actually talking,  because  I felt all the negative emotions you do,  which is not very good for our self esteme.  And it is hard to be so vulnerable and open with people in person!   But there are not words to express my gratitude for their support,  it was a blessing.   I am sorry you havent heard back from anyone at AA yet,  I remember my first call   it was a Sunday late at night  and my call was answered by a human with  a lot of information.   I hope you hear from someone soon.

Since your husband is so very far away......does the center have any afilications with any support organizations close to where you live?   It sounds like you have checked into this a lot  ,  but I'm hoping they will have something closer that will help you also.

Please take good care of you and your baby.....  what a wonderful life you all can have in sobriety!   Please let us know how you are doing.  My best,  Jeanette

[mindezz]

you asked if my husband was on drugs when i met him... yes, he has been on drugs his entire life (from what he has told me).  he took pills, xtc, acid, smoked pot.. little bit of everything.  he was a social drug user, as I was too.. I will not lie.  i got pregnant and things changed for me.  thats all it took for me to put down the drugs. then, several yrs ago he discovered crack cocaine.  a once in awhile habit has now turned into smoking every penny he earns as soon as he gets it.  it had gotten to the point it had taken over his life... and mine too.  stealing, lying, begging, crying.. then he felt guilty, depressed, started calling into work.. isolating himself from everything and everyone. anyway...... i have called the local AA center, left a msg for a return call.. i have also emailed them and not yet heard back.  i am confused as to how these meetings work.  i do not know which one i need to attend.  he is not an alcoholic.. does that matter?  today is monday.. surely, they will get back to me sometime today.  i will call and email until i know.   once again.... thank you all so very much.  it took me almost a week to find this website, and it has been a Godsend.  yall just dont know how good it feels to have ppl to talk to openly and honestly and have them care.

[lifesaride]

Hey there, This is a good thing, sure its gonna be hard, but honestly, the best things in life are always hard. Get yourself together, your home, your son get it all tip top, when hubby gets home you'll need to be at the top of your game. Have faith, And much resolve. This is the end to the means. It's a new start, but detox is just the start, so the more ready you are for the battle the quicker the war will end. Best wishes, Teddy

[landbray]

good luck to you. Don't be so hard on yourself. None of this is your fault. You will see that once you attend a meeting. All those things you are feeling are very normal. Was he on drugs when you married him? Any change can only be positive so you need to be as positive as you can. He loved you before drugs or he wouldn't have married you. He should be the one worring about being alone. not you. He will love you in a healthier way when he is clean. You now have some time for yourself to decide what you want. Hang in there, you are doing great. post again I want to see how you are after you have been to a meeting
paaddict

[mindezz]

i know him going to rehab is the best thing for him and our family as a whole.  i have so many mixed emotions about everything though.  when he left it said it would be a week.. he got there and now they say 30-60 days for this to do him any good.  he is 800 miles from home.. i talked to him on speaker phone four days ago for about 10 minutes.  we have never spent more than one night apart in six yrs of being together.  i know that i need counseling.. i am going to look into alanon right now.. i need to speak with other ppl in my own position.  his drug addiction has left me so confused, so depressed, so lonely, so overwhelmed with grief, and with guilt because i could not help him myself.  i am scared when he comes back, he will have changed so much he will not even want me anymore.  i know that sounds crazy, but i feel crazy right now.   i really appreciate everyones kind words, and advice.  I HAVE TO GET MYSELF TOGETHER FOR MY SON.  thank you all again.......

[landbray]

hi,
I agree with the Alanon meetings. You will see that your are not alone. .. you don't have to speak if you don't want to, you can just listen. Speaking relieves allot of stress. It did for me. I went ACOA meetings for years. You will find someone you can confide in. Also is your husband near by? When my husband was in detox I went to three sessions with him. I was also offered couseling to help me understand him but I am an addict so I didn't do that then. I am now b/c I am suboxine. Part of that program is couseling,.
I think you would really like the meetings, you'll feel so much better.Find things to do with your son so that you don't have time to feel down.Keep yourself busy and remember that your husband did something pretty brave to admit his disease and to act on it while his son is still young shows he really wants a clean life. Just be there for him and relax. Be happy he is getting help. Now take care of yourself and your son. Things will be better.
paaddict

[Gacktlover]

Just hang in there. Things will be a lot better when he's clean and how he used to be. It will all be worth it.

[LateAugust]

I would recommend Al-Anon meetings,  also  most of the treatment centers have on site support for family counceling, as well as for the family members not in treatment.  You might want to contact the center and see if they offer any of these services.    You can find the number for Al-Anon information in the white pages of your telephone directory.
Good luck dear  and I hope you can find some local support in addition to this web-site.  My best to your family.

[road2recovery]

Hi there...I am sorry that you feel so alone...My daughter was in rehab for over 4 months...But it was the best thing i could ever imagine..It was not easy for us, but I knew she was safe...I know it has to be hard with a little one...But know that he is getting the help he truly needs...We are here for you!!!
r2r

[sunshinedaydream3]

you came to the right place ;)

addictions don't only affect the addict, but everyone around them

you need a means of healing and i believe this is step 1.

you may want to check in to some type of grief/coping counseling???

im sure some other people have more knowledge and have better advice,
but just want you to know your not alone!

make this a new home and if nothing else it may help you understand more about being an addict and what your husband is going through!

let me know if u need anything!

[addictedme]

Was it better when he was home and using? At least now there could be a future if he"s determined to beat this. Use this time to plan for his return and a plan for his recovery. You might try going to an al anon or nar anon meeting,,,,,( meetings for loved ones of addicts),,take this as a beginning,gl