someone please help

[nicky9334]

Wow so i have tried to quit sooooo many times.... Get to day 2 and give up I hate myself for not having the strength to get threw this.... I panic everyday that I'm going to overdose I mean have horrible panic attacks but yet I still take them i usually take 5 at a time and still dont feel them im chasing the high well its not there.... My depression does not help no excuses i am a addict but when i feel sad and angry i just pop them and feel numb i really want to stop soooo bad.... was anyone else up to that many a day and made it threw it cold turkey..... The few times I have tried I could not sleep felt like i was going crazy.... I know its time to stop I dont want to die from a overdose or hurt my liver anymore than I already have... Someone who has been threw this please help

[gnarly_1]

HI....first off you can do this....if your not in a support group like N/A or one of the others mentioned get pluged in N/A only requirement is the desire to get clean these programs will help you more then you will know....although working with addicts 6 nights a week has shown me many do relapse ...it dosent mean everybody does its not a given if you work with aftercare you can live in recovery....again these programs will teach you that the very way we think has to change to recover and they will give you the tools and teach you the skills to do so
I have been working with a substance abuse conslor for over 2yr and N/A for 5yr 11 mo
today I have 5yr 11mo off of alcohol weed ans everything else recreational and 517 days off methadone....the programs work if your willing to work them I wish you all the best in your road to recovery..it a tuff road but when you finlly stop trying to do it on will power and truly surrender to it you will start to live in recovery and life can be a beautiful place again
good luck and God bless.....Gnarly    

[MichaFeelinglost]

Thank you for your wise words and encouragement. Its what keep me coming back here to read for probably a year, and to finally post for the first time today.

[RICHPASQ]

Addiction.... Let me see,  I have spent over half my life behind bars.  Lost my house, wife and kids. Overdosed 4 times,  And now I am in a battle with Hep C stage 4 all because of ADDICTION. I know how you feel and I know how hard it is to stay clean.  I have relapsed many times and every time it is worse then the last. The only advise I or anyone else can give you is to just pick up the pieces and start over.  You and only you will know when enough is enough!  They say an addict will not stop until they hit rock bottom.  The only problem with that is that some of us don't have a bottom and they are the ones who die because of their addiction.  So join the battle with the rest of us and stay alive :)

[freenikita]

Hello Nicky and Micha, know that you are not alone either. I don't know anyone to whom getting sober, stopping an addiction... has been an easy thing to do.
Besides, very few people are actually able to stop an addiction without ever having one or few relapses. My experience is that in most cases, an addict will fall a few times before definitely leaving behind his old and omnipotent habits. Some will fall once or twice. Others will fall quite a few times.

In the big realm of things, the number is not that significant as long as we remember that  these falls are steps towards our recovery. They are part of the process. We mustn't forget either that the fastest we get up, the less we'll fall. the less we'll fall, the closer we'll be to have control over our lives again.

The only way to learn how not to fall is to always remain honest to others who help us and especially to ourselves. A relapse remains part of the process as long as we try to understand it and so we may be able to predict the next time around.

Nicky, the longer you are staying down, the harder it will be for you to get up. Just like the more you blame yourself for not having the strength to stay straight, the more power you give your addiction.

There is nothing as cunning as addiction: It feeds on our low self-worth and our dexterity to  judge ourselves as being weak or as not having any will power. The self-blame becomes a vicious-circle and soon enough we are back full speed popping left and right, drinking left and right, fixing, snoring..."

Nicky and Micha, doing what you are doing is extremely difficult as it is. Doing it alone makes it even more challenging on many levels. If there is any way possible for you two to get into a rehab or even an outpatient program, I would really recommend that you do so. If this is not an option, ask members here to help you, educate yourselves as much as possible. Check out recovery group meetings in your area (As you probably know, there are two basic formats and if you have not been to any meetings yet, I would suggest to go to both a 12-step and a non 12-step meetings so you can decide for yourselves what kind of program, philosophy, you feel will help you the most) Many organizations to choose from: Narcotics Anonymous: http://www.na.org/, Smart Recovery: http://www.smartrecovery.org/, Women in Recovery,…

If you go to this website: http://dasis3.samhsa.gov/, you can research many treatment programs and resources in your state and in your city.

Best of luck to you two and remember, if you fall, you get up quickly but you never give up!

:)

nikita

[MichaFeelinglost]

Hey Nicky, it sounds like you and I could be twins.  I take 6 norco at a time, right out of bed.  I feel so much shame and disgust when I'm taking them, but can't seem to get past 3 days into detox without backsliding so far.   I feel trapped and lost. I read the posts here and I'm going to keep trying until I get it right.  I know that not figuring a way out of this cycle will only end one way.  I know that all these good people posting here have found a way out, and that means that we must be able to find our way out too.  Anyway, your post just resonated me and I wanted to tell you that you're not alone.    

[sudie58]

what are you taking?, you will get help on here, i gave up pain pills cold turkey, and so have lots of others, its hard but can be done, there are things that can help, keep posting , and tell us about yourself, there is hope, sudie

[nicky9334]

O and i forgot to say i take about 20 a day sad I know