i give up.

[maria920]

I'm so sick of being accused of using I just give up. Its the same headache I had when I was actually using. I'm sooo sick of this bulls*it! Sometime I think he doesn't want to trust me and he waiting for me to fail. It would b a lot easier not to try and stay sober but to go back to using and forget all about the hard work I've been doing for the past 6 months. Ughhh....

[ponco]

Hi need to  ask you something youre the only one i know that can answer im decreaseing 5mgs a week. if i start withdrawls doing this and i stay at 5mgs how long do the withdrawls last 3 months till you hit 0mgs or 2 to 3 wks.

[ricart70]

That is one of the big reasons everyone says you must quit for yourself.People close to me clearly do not trust me and I doubt they ever will but I am glad that my sobriety is not dependent on their feelings.

[this_big]

Trust is a motherF#$%# to earn back in any situation. Much less this type of situation. Face it. As addicts we are GREAT liars. I cant say that I would trust me right now. Can you?... honestly? Trust is earned back...sometimes. Instead of getting mad try to calmly explain whatever situation may come up...really thats all you can do. I can assure you he probably WANTS to trust you. Dont know if this helps.?. Good luck!

[maria920]

Any advise on how to handle it? I'm so sad bc of this. I feel like nooone has faith or trust in me besides u guys I'm really hurt.

[maria920]

Thank u everyone for caring so much! This seems to b the only place in getting support lately! I can't seem to catch a break and it breaks my heart. Tonight my hubby went in my bathroom and decided to go thru my stuff without me knowing ( which is 100% completely fine)  bc I have NOTHING TO HIDE!!! I started to ask him a question and he said to me u better put ur makeup bag in a different place since ur keeping ur dope in there now... I COULDNT imagine what he was talking about so I said what r u talking about and he says I knew u were using and ur so fuc*omg stupid for leaving it in there esp where the kids could get it. at this point I'm crying and confused bc I really don't Kno what he found . I went in with him and he throws a cellophane bag ties with a little rubber band with white stuff inside . Well  he didn't touch this bag just looked . Well I picked it up and threw it at him and said OK AS*HO*E its not dope its LOTION for stretch marks someone gave to me to try and I didn't have a bottle or anything so I took tht off my smokes. Now mind u this has been in there for about a year. So then of course I cried my eyes out for am hour and he tried to say sorry but I can't do this anymore. I'm working so hard and getting nothing in return. I'm sick of it... its one thing after another. And Idk how much I could handle!

[D713]

Hey I've been there my family look at me diffrently when I tottaly made a announcement at a gathering it was akward and still now........to me I shoulda kept it to myself and just went through it anyways. Because they didn't help or support me..just judged me and talk crap about me still to this day they do....it's embrassing and depressing to be honest....I'm like at least I admitted it and I thought I will get some support but obviously I didn't...But after time it get's better...everyone start to see you doing better and they even forgot about it....But my cousin's I was so close to is being childish acting like we're kid's...like they say don't take anyone for granted and I've always been there for my family....good or bad...I stuck with them to the end and still willl....Keep you're head up...
-Dee.