i just dont get it

[BeyondScrewed]

Ok, so I asked about this a few days ago. I know most of u think its probably not the best thing to try but I thoughy id at least give it a shot. I took 1 10mg methadone yesterday just to get some goin in my system. Then last night around 7 I took an oxy and took off my fent patch. Woke up this morning in terrible w/d's. Took 40 mg methadone. Took around 2 hours, but the w/d's all melted away along with my pain. However, its now around 12 hours later and I'm starting to hurt and feel the w/d's cteep back up. What the hell. I thought the long half life shuda kept it goin at least longer than this???

[weaver71]

You're wife can't use your recovery against you, but being in active addiction is a powerful tool for her. You may even salvage your marriage if you're clean. Just a thought.

[freelysurrendering]

i am praying foy you.... WAKE THE HELL UP!! its that easy take back your life...you have loads of support from all the amazing people on here... have you tried a 30 day intake program? it may be whay you need ...think about you risk of loosing now and how much more you could loose if you dont make a change now....please keep me posted im pulling for you.

[kyle505]

I have been reading your posts and I've held back, but at this point I have to chime in and pretty much agree with what's being said.
You've been on this forum for weeks - all of your posts are the same, filled with despair and hopelessness, yet there remains an unwillingness on your part to implement the suggestions offered by people who have been through hell, have years of sobriety, and are experts at addiction.
But, no matter what is offered, you seem to come up with reasons why this or that can't be done. And that's all BS. There are people on here who's lives have been filled with unimaginable pain and suffering, yet they are working at recovery, every day.  You on the other hand seem to be using this forum as more of a social site - a place to whine about how things just aren't working out - and they aren't working out because you are not listening;
your head is in control. The pills are in control. And you are doing nothing about it. That's my take on things. Harsh, yes. I would like to see you get clean.

[YesLife4Me]

Do you have anyone else that can help you instead of your wife if you are scared of telling her?  

[Colorless]

No judgement, just reality.  You won't give your wife control, but you willingly hand it over to pills. As long as you do this you have already removed the best part of you from your son. How's this behavior workin for you so far?

[dominosarah]

Beyond, you keep doing this and you wont have to worry about anything but your son will as he will be without a father.