sorry and need to apoligize

[jollyman069]

Hello all, been a whils since I have posted here, well I wish I didnt have to wriet this post at all. I was addicted to pain meds for 4 years, and had 250 some days in sober. I have had some real pain issues with a bad shoulder, They had me try 5 weeks of physical therpy and then a cortizone shot inot the shoulder, None help it at all, well that pain at times is unbearable. I have what is called degenrative joint desease, I have had 5 surgeries done on that arm because of dialysis issues. The dr told me I had to get the pain under control, and he knows my addicition issues and told me the amount of pills he wrote for me woulnd't put me back into addicition. Well he was right pysically they didnt do any harm..It is what i put myself through mentally that really has done the damage. I have been depressed and have felt wothless, thank God I havent gotten back on pills again I just felt ashamed and worthless and that I have let everyone down, especially my Lord and savior. Yes I am a bron again christain. Well thanks for listening and I am sorry if I let anyone here down...God Bless...brian

[worried878]

u didnt let anyone down..we do what we gotta do to get by..it sounds as if u have some serious pain issues...i do as well and addiction and chronic pain should not happen to the same person..but it does
I think chronic painers r perfect targets for addiction//not all of course but some of us get nailed..chronic pain is tiring, depresing, hurting..sometimes anything that can make us get up and go seems worth it

for me..the emotional part got me..I was unable to stay inside my prescribed dose any longer and hence worrying bout pills all the time..also thepills didnt touch my pain anymore

No one can feel ur pain but u..and ur decision will be supported no matter what..there is also a chronic pain forum on medhelp

keep posting

[Holliee]

Hello I just wanted to say that you have not let any one down. You can not help that you have real pain issues that can be unbearable at times. No one and I mean NO ONE deserves to go through life in so much pain that they can not stand it and if you need to take something for the pain there is nothing at all wrong with that/ You have no reason to be ashamed. I am sorry you have pain and that you feel you let ppl down. You have helped so many and I cant think of one person that would ever be upset at you. Take care of yourself and best wishes I hope you get to feeling better and the pain eases off for you I know how you feel. I also have degenrative disc diease and I know what the pain can be like. I have been through the surgeries an was not able to get much relief from the,. I would not be able to get out of bed and go to work without some help.

[narla]

As nearly everyone has said we will all have to face your dilemma at sometime I just hope when I have to face it I can be as strong as you have been.with GOD in my heart I'm sure he will help me.

[kiylen]

You have been a guiding light for me so many times.  Please do not think any of us would ever think less of you for what happened.  You did exactly what the doctor told you, put the pills back down and got back on with your life.  You did not relapse and continue to ask for more and I'm sure you are still in terrible pain.  You're a strong person, a strong believer in Christ and like WD said, God knows your heart and your soul and gave you the strength to do what you had to do and not let it destroy your life.  Like you, I'm a strong believer and God is with you every step you take and you took the right step by not taking anymore.  You know in God's eyes you are never worthless.  in my eyes, you could never be worthless.  There is no need to feel shame.  What if you were in a terrible accident, God forbid, and you had to have surgery and receive pain medication?  Things happen Brian and you went into the situation with a strong mind and faith and overcame it.  I'm sorry you are still in so much pain.  I am saying a personal prayer just for you.  Not just my general prayers for people on medhelp but a personal message to God just for you.  Please take care of yourself.  Remember that's not God putting the shame in your heart...

[WDsRawful]

Your savior knows your addiction better than you or your doctor.  He gave you the strength to take them as needed for pain and didn't allow the addiction to overcome you again.  Praise him for that and stop beating yourself up.  You can do all things through HIM who strengthens you.  So good to see you post over here.  :o)

[googzy]

**** satan

[seahorse1963]

satans a liar, quit having him shout those lies in your head!

[dominosarah]

Please dont ever feel ashamed about this and you in no way let anyone of us down.  Pain meds are for pain and that is what you took them for.  We will all be faced with that at some point in our lives.  You didnt abuse them and you have been totally honest with your doctor and he is on board with your recovery.  You still have your clean time my friend.  Now get those feelings out of your head and get to feeling better!!!      your poet, sara

[beatingthis]

Brian,

We are the last people on earth that would judge you. You and I are just a day apart in our days clean and we started this journey toughter. You have made me laugh, and cry. But mostly laugh HARD!! Do what feels right to you and what you have to do to be pain free.
I am here if you need me OK?

Love Ya,

Terry

[Cherie762]

Brian I am going to pm you

[pharma9]

Both tylenol and nsaid chronic use can cause kidney damage,but tylenol is a little safer on the kidney and unless there is new info that I have not read yet...people on dialysys can take 1 extra strength tylenol every 4 hours for pain.The use should be occasional,not every day.You sure don't have many options for pain relief.

[jollyman069]

the only thing that helps now is a heating pad, because of my kidney failure I can't take things like motrin or ansaid to help with the inflamation that is in the shoulder...looks like I amy need surgery to "clean the shoulder " whatever that means ...lol..thanks for the kind words

[pharma9]

You did not let anyone down.You took those pain pills as they were intended...for short term use and have moved on.good for you and have you been able to help your pain with other things?

[Florida_Guy737]

I don't think you let anyone down; it is what it is.  You have a chronic medical condition that is unmanageable at times.  I recently had surgery and I also had apprehensions about using pain meds again but I saw the meds for what they were...a means to recover from surgery and that was it.  Did I enjoy that relaxed feeling...you bet but this time I didn't let the meds control my life.

Stay positive and focused...you are well into your recovery.

Good Luck

Guy