intervention

[dbgc]

well let me just state its been along time coming. i will keep this as brief as i can. last thursday i pretty much came to the end of my rope. lets just say i have been really dishonest and not a good person in the slightest!!!
i think in a way i wanted this to happen as the ex wife to be said i had a hour to leave and she was going to talk to my parents. i didnt recoil and i could hav got out of it but i needed this and pretty much said come on over i have been dishonest with everyone in my family, lets do this and pretty soon i had about eight family members over. well i came clean about my addiction to pills and i am so fortunate to have family that still loves me, even though i have been a A$$ to live with. so to make this story short as possible thursday night my sisiter who has over three years clean looked on the internet for hours to see where i could get in. i was honest and to tell you the truth i should be in jail but the ex still loves me and so does my family that they didnt turn me in as i have stolen and wrote checks to myself, 500 dollors from my wife and three hundred from my dad. it makes me sick and it is so against who i used to be, i have never stolen but my friends my brain is sick and as you know, soon you take paths you never thought you would have taken. i had a job and they asked what i wanted and i chose to say rehab. so thursday night my sister finally found a place to go but here is the catch i am not happy about. i had to go 40 min up to salty lake county and i am in utah county so the said i would have to pay at least 195 dollors fot the first three days and the other 11 days  since i had no money would be covered. so my brother took me up at 2:30 friday morning and i was admitted and more than happy to do so. it was a detox center so reall i could check out at anytime but did not wanty to do so. so it takes three four to five days after to be evaluated and see what type of help you need after. so fast forward three days later i was called to the main office to be checked for what i thought would be my evaluation. i walk in and sit down and the lady askes me how i am. i say happy and hopeful. she then in turn says well today you are being discharged as my three days paid are up. i know am really confused and state no i have 11 more days before i leave. she than says you are not from this county and would have to pay i say no i was told that i pay for the first three days and was tols i could stay the rest of the eleven. not the case i am told. well i am not happy but have no other choice but to leave. mind you this whole time i was doing the meetings and happy and for some reason for the first time of withdrawls was doing great, i was sleeping six hours my last night and my body doesnt hurt and no drepression. i have prayed alot and i think a higher power is looking out for me. now let me tell you if i was looking to get high it wouldnt have been hard as most in there have ways to get what they want by people leaving out on pass. pills and heroin were around and i was offerd some but of course said no. what gets me is here i want to stay go to meeting as only five out of the fifty or so there really wanted true help. the rest there are there because either court orderd or they will go to jail and here i am getting discharged. and noy happy. just want you to know i since got home have found all the meetings in a fifty mile radius and plan on hitting three to four a day and am getting a sponser. i am going to a few tomorrow. just want you guys to know it my time to clean up and am very happy about it. i feel great and know with gods help and a willing heart i will do this. i will post and let you know how all goes. i love the people in here and know you will all help. sorry for the long post but guys it is now my time to do this for myself. i really will make this and be the person i truly want to be. i feel so good and my mind and heart are in the right place for once to do this. say some prayers for me. thanks all. whish i was still in detox as much as a boring drag it was to be there. i feel i was let down as i really wanted to stay. go figure the people who wanted out are still there, and the one who wanted to stay was givin the boot because i live 40 minutes away in another county.

[laurel453]

Hi, ... it seems you have hit your rock bottom now and you know the deal . Work hard on your recovery and you will have the life we all deserve .

wish you the best  and keep us informed about how you are doing,  :)

[Beccabeccalynn]

Sorry about the detox thing I guess your higher power gave you a lesson in" life on lifes terms" right of the bat. Glad to hear you are determined and hopeful. Make sure your sister or someone who supports your sobriety helps you go through your place to get all addictive substances out including alcohol. You can do this your off to a great start. Don't even look back on the detox thing just "flush it " and move forward.
Best wishes, Becca