More infor on my failed taper

[ilvmakindolls]

Ok,So i dont feel i gave all the infoamtion on what has been going on with my taper.  2 weeneds ago, I ran out ealy.  My first response was to start freaking out.  I had a very bad week and was going to just do the c.t thing but by monday, my blood pessure was us and my hearbeat was very erratic...so I caved and to my script filled.  I figured knwoing what i had just went through for 3 days would be enough for me to be good with them...boy was I wrong.  it is like they are thier calling my name all day long...proimising to take my pain away if I just take on.....it is scary.  So here I sit 2 weeks later and again in w/d.  I was hoping they woudn't be as bad since i was almost done with them when I got my refill....This time Idid the smart thing and tore up the refill....and I do **** go in to see my doctor unto the 21st. God please give me the strentgh I am going to need to stay away from these pills.    And  thank you all for you ongoing support!

[dominosarah]

Until you get honest with yourself and your doctor you will continue on this path and it will only get worse........How bad do you really want off this crazy train??  You have it in you to do this.       sara

[chronicmistake]

That is what is called "addiction".  we have no control.  Do you have a script or meds at home?  If so, and you really want to get clean flush the rx and the pills.  you are already in WD and the worst is probably over.  You have to come clean with your doctor or you will never get better.  I told my doctor to never give me a narcotic again and he was very supportive and proud that I detoxed myself and am making plans to start an  IOP program.  Don't beat yourself up.  Just start over and take a day at a time.  when you feel like your going to cave than come talk on the forum.