Aftercare is different for everyone

[corey411]

Seems to me I am the queen of relapse on here. I found this forum in April of this year and got a couple months/weeks clean and then caved into the addiction about 4 or 5 times. I really believe there is a reason for my addiction and that I don't have a lifelong incurable disease. There is something I need to learn from this and I'm just not finding it yet. My philosophy has been that with every relapse I need to try something different or history will keep repeating itself. I love the forum and thought just the forum was IT, then relapsed and decided to tell people in my life, then NA for 3 1/2 months. NA has alot of benefits but it is not for me...I find myself not believing alot of their philosophies and basically the program is 100% the NA way or your doomed. I stayed home from work today bc I could not put down the book I got that was recommended by a member last week. Its not a 12 step book and basically is in contrast to NA. Its called "The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure" a holistic approach to total recovery by Chris Prentiss. I've read half and it had a profound effect on me. I'm  not totally clean yet...I had been taking something to ease my wds last week but had a bottle of 7.5 hydros that I was amazed I wasn't taking. Of course I did eventually...Monday as a matter of fact. I'm now 24 hrs. off the hydro and taking something to ease my wds but was holding onto 21 7.5 s. I'll be having surgery in 2 weeks and I will need pain meds so I told myself why go through wd x2 to justify holding onto them. After reading half this book I FLUSHED THEM!!!! First time I ever flushed a pill let alone 21 and they were 7.5s. I feel a freedom I haven't felt in awhile.I've been being told I was a powerless, unable to manage my own life,  hopeless, weak addict with an incurable disease that won't go away unless I do everything the NA way. This program saves people so I don't mean to offend anyone who is getting lifesaving help from the fellowship. I'ts just not for me. I wanted to share my hope that I got from this book with anyone that it might help.

My best wishes and thoughts go out to all in recovery. Try all you can and if it doesn't work hold onto the parts that help you and keep searching for what is right for you. I know that I still have a long process but I feel more hopeful the more I take suggestions from other people the more I feel I heal. If there was 1 way to cure addiction we wouldn't be here.  GBU, Corey

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

That is the reason that our advice is to keep on quiting...........doesnt always happen immediately...took me quit a few tries to get it right..

[Girl_Interupted618vygyx]

Wow, You actually had the strenghth to flush them. I think I better check out the book because I feel the same way about NA and I could never ever picture myself flushing them. Ive been struggling for quite a while too. relapsing over and over and what it boils down to mostly for me is the lack of energy that causes me to relapse. i know it comes back eventually if you can hold out. I believe this. Thanks for the inspiration.