entering into the 13th day

[akitagurl12]

i know i have asked this before, and i received some really insightful responses from caring people so i don't know why i am asking again.... But i am just really freaking out right now.  I just need to know if at day 13 is what i am going to feel like from now on?  Is this the new norm?  I have been a total wreck yesterday & today.  Nonstop cravings and just really angry.  I dont want to relapse again, but i also dont understand why i am not feeling better and stronger about my quit.  i have never made it past two weeks sober in all the years i have been addicted to pills.  And before that i was smoking pot and doing other stuff so really, this is the longest i have ever been sober since like 14 years old.  There is a relationship in my life that i just don't want anymore but i feel like i have no control whatsoever to do anything about it.  the pills at least numbed me and kept me preoccupied so i didnt have to focus on it so much  But now that thats gone. I don't care about being happy anymore, but i really would just like some peace...at least have the cravings stop. idk.  just venting.

[IwillDoThis]

I am proud of you - taking that first step to a meeting can be so hard but you know it will help you.  Glad to hear your day is better hon!  Keep it up

[akitagurl12]

thank you AGAIN for all the comments, you all ROCK:)  I made it through last night, kicking and screaming, but i did it.  I am feeling more mentally clear today. I think i just needed sleep, which i got. I am def. going to check into some type of aftercare now.  I have been so stubborn about that up until this point, but i seriously think i need it if i really want to beat this, which i really do.  I have an idea about which meeting i want to check out, so now it is just a matter off getting off my a$$ and going. Have a great Thursday everyone:)

[minn66]

Hi akita, you are doing great so far! It will definitely get better. Hang in there. Each day will bring small improvement. I agree that some kind of aftercare will help, whether it is NA, counseling, or some other group. Oh, and don't forget to get your laugh on! ;)

[gnarly_1]

HI I would recamend some human interaction N/Ais a great place to start you will meet like minded people that want to be clean and be able to tell others how you feel and have them understand afatercare is a key to long term sobrity you really do need to plug in it will help you with things like cravings and give you an outlet the true defanition of insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting different results change your thinking and you got this one.....good luck and God bless........Gnarly  

[dominosarah]

Focus on the journey, not the destination~~~

[Bkitty]

Hey there,,Are you able to set up any kind of aftercare/NA. Everything you are feeling is "normal". Remember your brain chemicals are all outta whack from the drug abuse and it takes time for your brain to figure that out and start making those "feel" good chemicals again. And that takes time... I know how bad it ***** a$$ right now. You need some support as well. You will get a lot here but its a virtual world. You need it in your real life world. Try and stop thinking about all that you need and want to do. Narrow it down and focus soley on sobriety at this point. The world isnt going to stop if you dont address some issues. They will still be there,,just you and sobriety right now. Im sending great big (((hugs))) and a little hope that you will feel better in time. Try not to focus on time too much either. I know its really hard in the beginning but one of the lessons learned in recovering from addiction is to be patient. Accept that. Get comfortable with that. Remember being sober is life changing. You need to learn these first steps now as it will ensure your sobriety in the long run. Hang in there sweetie. ((HUgs))~Bkitty

[Treecutbush]

Recovery is a process, it doesn't happen over nite... You didn't get to we're ur at in a day!!!! So give it a chance!!!!PRAY AND PRAY and hold on it gets better

[steve1220]

hey gurl......i know i'm only days ahead of you on this journey but i've done this soooo many times before !!!! what yor going through right now is the second phase of w/d THE MIND PART !!!! and for most people it's the hardest....your mind starts sayin i'm in pain,i'm depressed i'm bored and on and on everything it can come up with to get you to say oh hell i'm feeling better now anything to get you to go and get some pills !!! and if your not strong during this IT WILL WIN !!! take it one day at a time and stay strong....and in time your mind will give up BUT IT TAKES TIME so please dear give it some more time you will be happy you did.....you came this far dont let it whoop you now.......
            your friend steve

[doitformyson]

It gets better.  I can't really explain it better than "Iwilldothis" does above but I can tell you how I felt day 12 vs how I feel today on day 23 is WAY different.  Hang in there, better dayz to come for sure....

[IwillDoThis]

ugh typos - sorry!

[IwillDoThis]

Hi Akita - GREAT job on 13 days hon.  I said it before and I'll say it again you didn't do this to yourself overnight and you are not going to feel normal in 13 days honey - please be patient.  Remember the whole explanation about how your opiod receptors are bare right now and feeling really upset because the opiates are gone and your natural endorphins haven't show back up yet.  They will come back but it takes time.  You are gonna be up, down all over the page for a while yet.  What are you doing for after care?  Cuz that is really important to empower yourself, get some new coping techniques and just support and reinforcement that what you are feeling is completely normal.  Nothing you are feeling right now is "just how it is".

Try not to over analyze too much right now, take each day as it comes regardless of the emotions that come with it knowing that you are in flux - emotions are ebbing and flowing, your body is in transition like a butterly that starts in a cocoon and eventually fights its way out to spread its wings - BUT the butterfly doesn't spread it's wings without great struggle to break out of the cocoon.  YOU are in your cocoon right now Akita - give yourself time to break out as your wings need the struggle of working that cocoon to build strength.  I know you will fly - just be patient and be kind to yourself.

Sending you big hugs!