day 11 still goin at'er but what can i do about my pain

[GMcp]

geeeeeeze im so sorry i dont wanna sound like a whiny lil girl but holly **** i am locked down on my sofa dying here in pain i think its this thing they put in me to keep the disease from commin back it feels like its tryin to come out or something or its crocked or idk it hurts so bad and im day 11 so i dont wanna mess it up by goin to my doctor cuz he still thinks im tapering but i stopped his stupid taper plan almost 2 weeks ago, and theres another script for me but im NOT picking it up i took 800 of motrin wich i have been taking for the post surgery the past 2 weeks after finally quitting my oxy adiction, so i guess im asking for n e one else getting clean while fighting through pain? what helps you? should i just cave if it gets to bad? like i got 3 kids i wanna be clean for them my 5 yr old boys bday is next week and i did it sooner than the docor told me to cuz i wanted him to have his stable mommy back for his big day! so i dont wanna waste these 11 days and go get that script, i am even planning on calling in today and tellin them im finding a new doctor bcuz mine inables me to use the narcs and its bad! and should be illegal! and then on the other hand i wanna be able to get around so i can do my sons bday wich would mean takin the pills again! arghhh im just so upset im so far into my detox, finally feelin good not much withdrawalin and now im crippled again, i dont get why the motrin worked for post surgery and its not doin n e thing for this pain! i also have some other symptoms from this pain that i dont wanna say for the boys sake on here reading this but its pretty bad, and i know i should go into er, but i dont want the chance of them being like here take these and give me perks or morphine or something and i know they will cuz i been to the er 15 times in the past 2  and a half months and they take my bp and hook me up to morphine right away, so i cant go, and arghh im really havin a hard time
hope and help PLEASE! thanks my friends <3

[GMcp]

thanx man <3 :) i am

[Dav125]

Just hang in there ..

[GMcp]

thanks ya, it was bad this morning but im all good now, i know its not the pills that are tricking me, im still having post surgery  pain not bad tho, ontop of that, first period with an iud, ya sorry, lol but i was told it was going to be really painful and it is, but i been taking the motrin and yep it is helping thank you gnarly

[gnarly_1]

HI.....I agree with the others .....its rebound pain your getting hit with once your brain starts to make endorphins by itself again the 800mg motrin will start to work for you it can take a wile but I have a really messed up back and it works for me....wile I was on the narcotics and after I got off of them for a wile motrin started to work ....its all about time....both time and God heal
your doing great for 12 days just bear with us a bit longer and things will get better keep posting for support good luck and God bless......Gnarly

[GMcp]

sorry melitonin if you cant get valarian root!

[GMcp]

melitonin if u cant get gaba really helps u sleep, i dont take it cuz it gives me bad dreams but thats another one u can get too to sleep there all natural and safe to use

[GMcp]

yes for sure it works great, i take seroquil on the bad nights like day 1 and 2 that works better but u gotta talk to your doctor about that but i have just been taking the gaba gaba and valiean root the past 7 nights and i sleep like a baby :) you can get the valarian n e where but gaba u gotta get at the health food store, it calms you so take it in the day too and then the valarian at night with 2 more gaba :)

[Formerjunkie]

meant to throw a question mark in there

[Formerjunkie]

it will put me to sleep, ever since the army i CANNOT sleep at night

[GMcp]

get some gaba gaba and Valerian root ;)

[Formerjunkie]

ive been juicing up on benadryl to knock me out, its not putting me to sleep but takes the edge off a bit

[GMcp]

thanx yea i started a fast taper and said screw it the motrin ended up helping, i took some benadryl too

[mellie4]

Keep up the great job you're doing.  I'm doing a taper (faster than I'm supposed to.)  It's hard.  I'm having mild to moderate withdrawal all the time with the symptoms varying.  Today I had my 13-year old daughter's birthday party.  This morning I didn't think I'd be able to do it but I got through it.  (Well, it's a sleepover but my work is done.)

The pain for me is bad, too.  And I know I could take more and make it go away but I'm not.  It's not worth it.  I want my life back and I want to be really present for my kids.  With the medications, I'm just going through the motions ... they dull me.  I want to FEEL REAL feelings again ... all of them, the good and the bad.

Hope you're pain gets better.  I take my 800 ibuprofen every 4 to 6 hours (as prescribed).  I don't know that it does much but I think without it I'd be much worse.  Heat works for me, too.

[GMcp]

yea, last weekend he tryed to give me his na book and i said i wont need that, i was still thinking once withdrawal would go away id never look buck, but this week i have a hole different perspective

[IBKleen]

Maybe you could speak with a doctor regarding those fears. They are real for you and I understand that going into a room full of strangers can be scary. But I think you will find comfort when you find a few meetings that are right for you. You will see that it is just a group of people, like yourself, who are working on living life on life's terms. I have made most all my friends through the fellowships of NA and AA so it is home for me. It is a place where I can get help and I can give back what was so freely given to me. You owe it to yourself to try so go with your ex until you are comfortable.

Also, google the NA Basic Text and the AA Big Book, both are available on line and there are some dynamite readings in there. I am sure you can relate.

It is great you are here and feel safe talking. Keep posting and hang in there. It does get better!!

[GMcp]

yea all very true, and thank you, i know there will always be temptation and one day there might be some right there and yes i need to find that extra strength, i think the fact of wanting to be clean and not doing it just cuz i gotta will help a little, and i really wanna be an active mother again, so i know a want thhis at least.

im scared to go alone because i have bad anxiety and hate going n e where alone i wont even go to the store for milk alone im weird i know but thats how it is lol

[IBKleen]

Good start hun, especially with the pharmacies. And not to be a downer but we are addicts and a crafty resourceful bunch so just when we think we have covered all bases and protected ourselves--BAM!, something else comes along. There will always be a way--there will always be temptations. I have often said I could find drugs on a deserted island if I wanted them bad enough so I don't rule anything out and to quote our CL-GUARD UP at all times. The trick is to learn new behaviors and learn what your triggers are. For me, I needed to get to the core issues and find out why I thought I needed to do drugs to live life. Obviously "normal" (whatever that is) people don't get up and stick a needle in there arm before their morning coffee so I needed to get to the root of my behavior right away. Don't misunderstand, I am only one pill away from losing it all every day and I make a decision each morning to stay clean just for today and it does work to help me not feel so overwhelmed like we talked about earlier. This process of recovery is life long and if I want to stay clean then I have to keep working on myself and keep learning and stay vigilant.

What is your fear of going to a meeting alone? We don't bite...LOL

[GMcp]

well i have asked my ex husband to take me to some of his n a meetings with him, i couldnt go by my self, to afraid,
and i red flagged myself at all the pharmacy's bcuz i know im always so weak in the begining so that should stop me even if i did fail and go back i couldnt so " ha! take that brain"  lol and thats all so far is there other stuff i should think about???

[IBKleen]

GM, Sounds like we wrote the same stories and I think you are lucky to be where you are so early in life. You have a great chance of getting off-staying off-and doing whatever it is you want to do with your life. That is wonderful!

That being said, your response begs the question....what are you going to do this time different to STAY clean? Talk to us about aftercare and we can share with you what we did, and still do.

[bigz2011]

you can do it . no pain no gain. fight this disease

[GMcp]

thanks, i know it gets harder each time this is my 4th time on the oxy's and im 9 years clean off a 3 year heavy heroin addiction that took 3 times to kick it for good so i know the drills, but  ya defiantly the heat therapy dose help i know, i am married to my magic bag it goes everywhere with me even when i was on the pills, thank you for reminding me of all this stuff, im not freakin out n e more guys thank you all of you <3

[GMcp]

HAHA! yes my bed sounds nice :) after hubby gets home so he can watch the kids i will ill send him to get me the benadryl and take that have a hot bath in my soaker and get into bed geeze if it wasnt for this pain today i bet i could have gone and been normal geri today! i feel grate with the withdrawals pretty much gone! its just this stabbing cramping pain it really really hurts and i have never ever had a "." this heavy so i think thats why this is happening

i stoped taking the cipralex (ocd med) cuz i fineally got a psychiatrist that will be prescribing me new stuff so i came down off mine last month i thought the appointment would be sooner but its on monday its ok, i have delt with it, its ruff but i wanna start on better stuff cuz it didnt help much n e way

[IBKleen]

Never say never. Take it one day at a time, one minute at a time if you have to so you are not so overwhelmed.

I also believe this is mainly rebound pain and you finding out that the mental side of this disease is tough. That is why you hear members say it is harder to stay clean than it is to get clean. But you are well on your way so please hang in there. If you give in now you will have to go through this all over at some point and trust me---it gets harder each time you do it.

I have had reconstructive back surgery and live with chronic pain. Some days are okay, some are not. I have gone for injections and they were quite helpful if you follow your doctors orders afterwards. I also went for acupuncture and that was very helpful. The thing that helps me the most these days is moist heat therapy whatever way I get it. A hot tub, hot baths, aqua therapy and a moist heating pad. That along with knowing when to rest and how to position myself usually does the trick. Understand, I am never pain free but I will take it over being tied to the pain meds.

I am glad to hear you cancelled your script. I know it would drive me crazy knowing I had something sitting there so that was a good move on your part.

When hubby gets there, try to relax and be good to yourself by making yourself as comfortable as you can. Try and get your mind occupied and off the thought of pills.

11 days is great so hang on!!! It does get better!!!

[vicki595]

Maybe you should take the OCD medicine?    Benadryl is an anti histamine but it has other properties. It will potentiate pain med: OTC and rx.  It works...so give it a try. It won't hurt...

If you get in a nice comfy bed,how can that not feel wonderful??   I might just go do that myself!!! LOL