kicked my son out on the street

[islandcat]

I'm new here. I am going through tough times with my 23 yr old son. He was jobless and took him in. He is addicted to oxy, percs and pretty much any type of pill. Did not know this.  He has good days where not sure he is taking anything as he will never admit to it. Then days on end where he is high and abusive to me. Then the days on end when he sleeps for 4 or 5 days straight, detoxing I guess. I have talked to drug counsellors to understand these drugs better. I have done everything I can to help him but he wont even admit to his habit let alone help himself.  I find pills everywhere and worry about my granddaughter finding them. Last nite did me in when I found out he had stolen from a friend, obviously to get money for more pills. I hate myself, it hurts so much to shut the door on him but I cant live like this anymore and am probably responsible for enabling by giving him a bed and food. It doesnt help that I have already lost a child and am always waiting for the call that he has overdosed again. Has anyone else been through this? Not sure this is where to post this but need to understand what is happening with him and these drugs.  I have to be strong because I know the phone calls and his tears to come home will start but cannot trust anything he says anymore.  Any advice would be very welcome.  

[NeverDreamed]

LIZZIE LOU- Loved your posts.

Islandcat-  My mom is a recovering alcoholic sober 11 years.  At the worst of her addiction, I kicked her out.  She was affecting us all in a horrible manner, i won't go into all the nasty details.  However, I called my best friends mom and told her to come get her, or the cops were.  I told my mom in one of her half sober moments, to not come back until she had gotten help, I threatened her with a restraining order from all of my family.  Up until this we had tried everything to help her.. my friends mom picked her up and drove her to a 3-month inpatient program.  She had failed inpatient before, so when she called me after detox, I told her i'm sorry but I couldn't handle the let down again, and would not have any contact with her while she was there.  This was her bottom, she later told me.  When her kids kicked her out, and refused to see her or talk to her.  From that day forward she has 11 years under her belt and has not relapsed once.  

Now i'm the addict, I chose not to share it with my family for fear of hurting them, stressing them out, and of course my mom feeling guilty, and my own shame.  Although, even high on pills, if my parents or husband had kicked me out, I wouldn't have blamed them.. he too I hope in time will get that.

I believe you did the right thing!  You cannot let his addiction affect you and the rest of your family, otherwise he is going to make you sick.  I became very sick with my mom's addiction (ulcer, stress, weight loss, insomnia, depression, vomiting.)  You remain strong, do what you can, but we all know you can't do much, until he wants to do for himself.  I'm sorry he was injured, and pray he wants help soon.  

[Gasten]

If you haven't already, you might want to post your question on the forum "Living with an Addict",  they might have more insight to add.....

[yaya1212]

Amen sister...I just kicked my son out.I feel like a thousand pounds was lifted off my chest.My son is 20 I know I did the right thing.To all the people on here saying let them stay show them love if you throw him out it might get worse.I threw him out to save his life believe me.He called me a stupid fxxxxing Bxxx one time to many.Just about every door ,cabinet etc torn up in my house that I work very,very hard for.To all you addicts out there take a long look in the mirror-what you are looking at is a self centered selfish lazy friend to satan.Go do something constructive,wash someones car,paint the walls in the house your sponging from.Go play tennis but quit destroying everybody around you.People make choices if they are going to choose to get help, die,live.steal.do right it does'nt matter where they are in your house or out.I love my son and always will i did this for both of us.I'm 53 and I am enjoying cleaning ,painting and repairing his room.I m going to go live life I know I raised my kids right and my son will wake up and get help. I just read over my post and i ccan tell im still mad.Part of it I feel I should have done it sooner.I was listening to a friend that has a 31 yr old and she is still dealing with it..I can not help my son til he gets help letting another grown adult lay up in your house and be sorry is not love.I also notice how people think since it is called a priscrition drug or legal pot it's not really a drug.They stagger around in slow motion deny there on anyhing and call you crazy.........crazy and stupid is letting them stay in your home rent free. If other children are in the home what do they see?It's OK with mom if we are on drugs and non productive.

[trdofbeingtrd]

If you need to talk to someone even if it takes me a couple hours, feel free to message me.

[mindaful]

Thank you for such kind words

[trdofbeingtrd]

I'm sorry you are going through this.

People don't change until they want to, and sometimes, they never want to.

At this point, all you can do is pray, and find love/support from everyone you can.

I am sorry about this.