You are still romancing the drugs and that is weighing so heavy on your brain. Those pills gave us all a false sense of security. Are you telling your counselor how you feel about the valium? Getting out and doing something physical will help also. Go for some short walks, get some fresh air and get your natural endorphins working again. An idle brain is the devils playground. Are you taking any vitamins? Those help too.
Are you still drinking the booze?
People who are inform about the Brains origins of Addiction can benefit from understanding that their illness has a "Biological" basis and does not mean they are "Bad" people. WE all need SUPPORT!!!! It is a Disease and/or a progressive one at that too.
Both Alcohol & Benzo hit the Gaba part of the Brain. (Many other parts too). These also affect many neurons in the brain that highly affect the nervous system. These 2 are not good to just stop either without either a taper or a comfort med. SO your w/d could go on for awhile. I went c/t back on 2012 off 3 meds and 1 was a benzo. For me it went on & on physically, for about 6 months, but it did get better and better each day. The pharmacist told me the time frame was mostly due to the Benzo and not the Methadone or illegal Adderral. I know they all 3 played a big part.
I have to agree with the above..You have to change so many behaviors, learn alot about triggers, and stay away from ppl, places and things, that can put your memory back down memory lane. We have a Mid-Brain which is all about Survival & Pleasure. If you even give into it, just one lil ol pill, this can start this up all over again. It will take Time for you to get some kind of lil control on that, but you must not do it alone. Working a program with others "always" gives you that support & help. This is why Addiction is a Brain Disease or Disorder. Lots of Chemical changes happen in our Brain and this is the part that will take time & patience to come around. This is why we push aftercare. Every single day I have to work Recovery. My using and drinking goes back to over 40yrs or more, even if it was off & on, I did finally get hooked and could not walk away, so I KNOW I can NOT do this alone. Hit some of those meetings or even a few AA/NA in a day for weeks. Each time you go, it keeps the mind redirected, and you can learn SO much from the readings, and other ppl who have walked in your shoes. I can NOT express how important it is to get some Support and Help! I just Pray you have NOT given in. Also, those pills of your Moms should be locked up. Every time you go over there that ol pleasure part of the Brain will do nothing but haunt you and bug you to just take that ONE!! Recovery is not a piece of cake. This is why I always say the detox is the easy part (yes uncomfortable) but working on staying clean is where it all takes place, and there will be SO many changes YOU will have to make. I wish you the best. Stick around this site and get involved. This too, will help keep you a bit busy and you can read and learn. HOW= Honesty, Openmindfullness, Willingness. We have to let the pride and ego go, and be very Teachable to get through this one day at a time.
Your time frame could be slowing down now. It all has to do with the Brain chemistry & nervous system adjusting back after the removal of these stims. Hang tight to that Patience and just give it some Time. It WILL get better!!!