I don't understand

[ilvmakindolls]

OK, I know that w/d is different for everyone....but I don't understand why I am still having the physical symptoms of w/d and it has been 9 days.  I was taking 7 to 10 oxycodone 7.5/325 a day for about 6 months.  Before that, I was taking about 10 Vicoden 5's a day for about 2 years.  I have never snorted my pills but have always taken them orally as prescribed....so I really didn't think w/d was going to last any more than 3 to 5 days.  At day 5, I was hoping to at least start to feel a bit better but there seems to be no change.  I tried getting out yesterday and found myself so sick by the time I got home, I had to lay down and passed out from exhaustion.  
I did call my Doctors office again and explained I was getting no better and I told them about my passing out episodes.  Of course, my Doctor wasn't in so they had the nurse call me.  I feel that the nurse has a grudge against me or something because she has been really mean to me lately....she sort of made it sound like to her, she felt I was making this all up and said that if the problems persist, maybe I should go to the ER.  She even went as far as to tell me I wasn't my Doctors only patient and she feels that I am being too bothersome to him due to my "being addicted".  That really depressed me when she said that.  You would think they would be a little more understanding and supportive.  This has me on the verge of just giving up....I mean, if I don't have the support of my own Doctor..........I guess they see me as nothing more than a total addict who is just looking for my next fix.  It isn't like I can just go get another Doctor either because I have no kind of insurance.  I don't know what to do.  I am still sick with all they same symptoms and I can't take it anymore.  My family is suffering also now.  
I talked to some other people throughout this week who had similar stories as mine to tell....and they all said that after a couple months, they too were no better and were still having many w/d symptoms so they gave up.  Is that why so many fail?  I sure wish I would have known all this when I was first prescribed pain medicine....I would have never gotten the script filled.  
Last night, I called my Doctors Office Refill line and called in for my refill.  I don't know if they are going to refill me or not.  According to my conversation with the Nurse last week, since I flushed my pills to help with going cold turkey, I somehow broke the contract I signed and that they were no longer going to be able to prescribe my medication to me.  I don't understand that either.  I really feel at this point I was better off on the weaning program.  I think now that I have experienced this week of pain and frustration and sickness, I will be more apt to stick to my schedule for fear of feeling this way again.  I was also on the waiting list for Suboxone, which I also feel I am going to need to help get off the Oxycodones.  Now, I am just not sure if my Doctor is going to do anything for me.  
Thank you all for your support and for listening.  God Bless and have a safe and happy weekend.

[guv338]

I would recommend that you do not allow some  nurse or anyone get between you and your recovery. This is not an easy undertaking and I would venture to guess that it took more than nine days to get addicted so you must realize that recovery is a life long process. If you give up it will only be harder to ever get those nine days back. My advise is to stop calling a doctor every time you don't want to continue to suffer but instead to promise yourself one more clean day and vow to endure whatever that day brings. Only time will heal your body and only a program will help your mind and spirit. You can get through this just refuse to give up. Relapse is not an option if you truly want to get this behind you. Refuse to go anyway but forward. May God bless your recovery. guv

[ImDONENoMore]

I'm so sorry you're suffering so much.  I know how difficult this all is.

As far as feeling better goes, I think you need to remember that you were addicted to these drugs for a long time (so was I).  And I would just tell myself that I didn't get into this mess overnight and I was not going to get out of this mess overnight either.  It really takes time, in my case, it was a couple of months before I really felt better.  Don't get me wrong, I did feel better as time passed, but I don't think the physical stuff goes away that quickly.  It wasn't until a little after 3 months that all of the physical symptoms went away.  But believe me, those physical symptoms were nothing compared to those early days, so definitely something that can be dealt with.  I do still deal with some minor fatigue and anxiety, but definitely nothing I can't handle.

I think you'll find this out too - so just hang on!  Please don't give up - it really does get better you just have to give it the time it deserves.  You can do this!