quick question...need some sound advice

[kimbo546]

So I got invited to a dinner/birthday party of another fellow addict tonight. All the girls that are going are ALOT farther along in their recovery than I am. So whats the problem? Problem is where they are going is a bar/grill, that I used to frequent alot during my active addiction. I want to go and I know there is no way I would use or even want to, however I get anxious for fear of being around alcohol and possibly running into old connects or friends that are still in their active addiction. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Or a simple go or dont go. LOL Thanks so much....Kim

[BrotherFrankie]

please do not go..

[kimbo546]

Thanks for your responses, I think for now I choose not to put myself in those slippery situations. Avoid people places and things that trigger us right? I will give her a birthday card at the meeting today and let her know I wont be able to make it. Have a blessed day. Much love Kim

[IBKleen]

I can't tell you how to play this but for me, I would have no business being in a bar partying with 37 days clean. My disease would have been screaming at me. I probably would have gotten through the night but the mental part would have killed me. I know that my relapses have begun mentally and/or spiritually before I actually picked-up so as much as I avoid the drugs, I avoid the situations that lead me to the drugs.

Good luck with your decision.

[Htownnofrown]

Well, my suggestion would be to not put yourself in a position where you are uncomfortable. I don't know how far a long in your recovery, but in early recovery there is no need to be around that stuff if it makes us uncomfortable. Your friends might not even realize that you feel this way, I've been clean for 18 months and me and a bunch of AA's went out to eat for my 1 year, and I invited my sponsee who had only been sober for maybe 60 days and we went to a restaurant with a pretty active bar, he told me after we left he was very uncomfortable. I thought just being around me, as his sponsor, and other AA's that he would be alright. But we feel the way we feel for a reason, there's no reason you should have to feel uncomfortable, so if you feel that way, don't go. And if you do go, make sure you have your own ride and can leave if it gets overwhelming. Wish you well with whatever you choose!

[vicki595]

Okay...tell them how you're feeling and ask for their support with this. It's a huge test and temptation for you. If they all stick close by, you should be fine but you need a babysitter. LOL  I don't know how else to put it!   But,you need a buddy to sit with you,go to the ladies room with you etc...If you can't do that, then you need to stay home.  Temptation is everywhere,no matter what amount of clean time we have.  We need to know ourselves and our addiction really,really well before we can do this sort of thing.

Good luck!