morning from oz

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

goodmorning my medhelp family i slept good last night still waking sweaty my pain is bareable i still have rls, no energy grrrrr..
Also so depressed since i started this time my partner has drifted away it feels he always snapping at me angry,not talking, stompping round banging **** when i try to talk he bites my head off sayin his had it up too here i havent been asking him for anything over the last week tryin to do it myself we also live with a good friend he helps us both heaps.. ive also noticed  that if i wake up feeling better n try get a hug n kiss for the morning he says no ive just got up cant u wait till i wake. i know his depressed himself about his illness transverse mylitis its a nurological spinial disoreder that attacks the nevers in his back his numb from just below his nipples he had to learn how to walk again he smashed it out the park he too is in cronic pain due to his illness he takes sevradol(i think thats how its spelt)its morphine 20mgs i dont touch his meds know matter what.they have him also on endep for his depression its not helpin i think thats whats makin him be the way he has when he was on his other anti depressant he was awersome id never seen him so happy n talking to everyone in 9 yrs than they schanged his meds a couple mths back n since than it feels he hates me more daily..
sorry to ramble agai i love u guys thanks for being yous <3
i pray yous all r doin well n hanging in there stay strong my friends we can do this one day at a time mwah aj xoxoxoxox

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

well im sitting home lonely miss my fella how is everyon goin i hope yous all slept well and feel good hugs n love aj

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

yeah mate its tuesday ur on day 3 lol just think like that it might help yas days go quicker congrats too ur doin well huni. My partner and i had a good talk finally cryin the two of us i could see the weight come off his back thru his face n he looked calmer straight away he wants me to organise a counsler for him someone who might know about his disorder, im feelin beeter inside(my heart) we been together 9 yrs most of our adult life we will get thru this he now knows he can talk n it does help him. his gone now pig hunting with his best mate i told his mate to keep a close eye on him he will he a great lad.

Hey B, cheers chick i swear they do to they just wont admit it lol.
i know im being tested and i will succed this time B i want to be clean so bad the meds im on now is ibuphen and panadine forte(paracetamol 500mg-codine30mgs i know codine is bad too im only takin them when really needed the ipbhurn(i cant spell lol) takes the edge of sorta well enough for me to be able to do some chores n stuff n not layin round.
got goods news too im goin back to work the head office called and asked me to come back my mate dont own it no more everything will be proper paid weekly everything i said id love too start back this monday coming also to a tafe course to get my barista certificate tommorrow so back to school for me(lmao). i hope u too have a goodnight(its night there lol)
much love B ((biggest hugs)) from oz aj xoxoxoxoxooxox

[Bkitty]

Bummer Oz,,Im sorry your Bfriend is being a crabby a$$. I think men have PMS too sometimes. (Sorry fella's-LOL). My hubby can get in moods sometimes as well as I.  hope that your pain is doing better. Im so sorry you are going thru all this. Keep doing what you are doing it will all fall into place in time. I admire your courage to continue to fight thru this. Hope that you have a wonderful day. I know that I was a little sensitive to other peoples reactions towards me in the beginning,,Im not saying its in your head but I know that I "read" people wrong. I feel for me that was related to the depression issues from withdrawal. Sending Love And ((hugss))~Bkitty

[conhall]

Hi and good Morning so its Tuesday where u are at?  so if its Tuesday I am on day 3 there LOL Its Monday still here 641 pm   I am so sorry thinks are so hard at home right now. Stay positive and keep strong. maybe give him a little space or just do something for him that will let him know You are there for him and you also are struggling and lean on each other. It will make you both stronger in your relationship. I also would like to thank you for always posting positive support to me I am on day 2 from being addicted to perc. about 15-20 a day 5 mg perc thats almost 100 mg day been hard for me . But with all the positive help here i will get to day 3. I Know tonight will be hard But I made it today I will tomorrow. God Bless you and I am always here if you would like to just talk PM me anytime  ((((Hugs))))

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

thanks dane its all good my mind never shuts up i play the ipod or stereo most of the day so i cant hear it..
i know my emtions r running wild i keep telling myself espaecilly cos i slipped the other day USING IS NOT AN OPTION!!
100 days is wicked cant wait to be able to say iam thanks for being u huni mwah hugs n love from oz aj

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

thats it vick we will get thru this he just dont know how to talk about whats goin on with himself.He is an amazing man n i love him heaps just wish he would talk.
he is my isperation if he can get thru a day wwith whats happened to him than so can i.. vick it come from a strain of flu his spinail injury the drs said that "it comes from a strain of flu it doent discrimante women,men,children even babies" they dont know much about it. he had to learn to walk again he cant pee on his own he uses  catherters he was in hopsital for mths even in hospital he was postive he did everything himself nothing stops him theres physio where we are and its only two ladies for the whole town he hasnt seen them since his been home everything his done he did himself he can nearly run again he goes to the gym daily i wish i was even a lil like his he is amazing n im lucky to have him <3
i think cos we both gi=ot so much happening we both stressed n cos he dont know how to talk lol he lets it build up till its all full than it comes out..
thanks again vick ur a legand huni big hugs xoxoxox aj

[Dane74]

howdy, i just wanted to share something with you and PLEASE do not take it to heart and just know i am looking out for you..OK?  As you know a little bit i am a chronic pain suffer (bone pain) and when i was around my 40 days clean my mind was all over the place.  I had pain , real pain and it hurt and it hurt bad i did have tears and didn't know what the heck to do, i went to the dr and BAM i got all the pain meds you can think of.  Still till this day i don't know if the pain was really real or was it my brain tricking me into going back to the pain clinic.  And on top of that we do get rebound pain as well.  So i relapsed bad, loved the pills, and it turned on me so fast and before i knew it i was either going to die or get help, off to rehab i went.  Now only 100 plus days clean my brain is still trying to get me to the doctor, i know all i have to do is go to the dr and I'm coming home with a RX. So everyday i tell myself  you are not winning this time, and girl i freakin hurt, and it really ***** and i hate it and i suffer from depression, but heck i am clean and yes in pain but i rest when i have to and do what i gotta do.  I do not mean to make this thread about me but i just wanted to share with you how powerful our minds are and i am not telling you that you have to suffer, i just want you to be aware of the power of our minds:)  I wish you only the best and we do not deserve to live in pain, but if its manageable then i do not have a choice because i learned the hard way, i don't have an option, because one pill turns to many and then for me death.  As for your man, just know you emotions are all over the place and try to just focus on you for now:0  I wish you the best my friend.

[vicki595]

Sorry everything is so hard right now. It sounds like life!! We can't always be upbeat, right?

Maybe ask him to talk to you. It must be awful to go through with what he's dealing with, you know?

You're being strong Honey!  Big hugs!!